Monday, August 14, 2006

Down I go

Just when you think life can't get anymore difficult, the floors go crooked-again. The ice pick got me, I think it started on Thursday, subtle at first, but by yesterday, it was wreaking havoc on my nervous system. Literally! Each time hte pick would hit, my face went numb, then arm, and my legs mostly the right, wouldn't move for me. For the outsiders that watch, wondering what's wrong with me, it must seem odd that a (ahem) 30ish young women would be walking with these giant steps and hunched over, holding my head, (don't want it to roll off!) I'm sure it's scary to watch. But for me it's almost funny - like, here we go again. What next? Frank and I just take it in stride, and we did laugh at the giant steps and akward movements I was making, the muscle-twitching, the lack of my legs moving. I can deal with tht paart, it's the pain I can't seem to handle so well. It just hits so hard and so fast, out of nowhere. My speach has been affected with it as well, but I think that came with the numbing more than anything. My face, lips and tongue were all feeling, rather not feeling the same thing - tingling sort of buzzing. Not the same as the lft side.

When I'd try to straighten myself, my muscles will shake and tremble as if they're telling me they've had enough. There is a metal taste in my mouth again, and I remember having this before; something wicked is coming on, I can feel it inside me. And my dog, Rocco, the aura warrior, is by my side crying constantly, knowing that something is up. What IS it that he senses? A smell?

We had Christina's litle play lastnight and it was so neat. The Summer Music Activities for Kids, I can't wait until next year when Nicholas can join. There was the pianists section, the rythm section - which was a favourite by all - especially Nicholas! Marisa would have loved that. The drama, which Chrissy and her two friends that went last week were in - they wre so cute, and they had a choir section. It was very well put together. But the auditorium always sends me into a major migraine, and it did lastnight. Head spinning, picked, and my neuro was OFF. It's getting to that point now. I'm not sure if I need to call my doc or ride it out. There is always a big question mark that cmes with this. But I suppose if it gets to be too much for me to handle, I'll call.. For now, it's abortive, and a prayer because that is all I havefor now.

My prayers are going out to my friend in AZ today. I wish you well, hoping this new doc will be wise and helpful.

Wishing all a pain-free day
deborah

1 comment:

terri said...

Oh Deborah, I am so sad to hear what you've been going through. Since your post was Monday, I am hoping the world has righted itself by now. It sounds like neurological overload just strikes you down. I don't think I experience the level of pain or extremes of neuro issues like you do, but what you write sounds so familiar. When I am in bad h/a pain, I feel like my limbs are uncoordinated, I walk with a wider ataxic stance (like i'm drunk) and feel very "spazzy", like all my nerves are firing at once (it feels like i am agitated and nervous). sometimes, the muscles in my quads even quiver as the nerves fire over and over again. i feel stiff and not loose-limbed. it is really scary but i am almost used to it. sometimes the symptoms are vague, and other times they are quite extreme. i really feel for you. this neurological impairment is scary. sometimes i just wish they would diagnose me with MS or whatever because i always think "this can't just be migraine", but then again, i am happy it is only headache and not something worse. it sounds like you are coping with a very full life but managing your migraine disease with humor and bravery. it is good to have the support of family and friends. it's funny, but i often wish all us migraineurs and headache-folks lived around the corner from each other so we could all help each other and be there for moral and emotional support. i guess the blogs will have to suffice!