Tuesday, March 25, 2008

This past Saturday was the first Winter Drumline show I've been able to attend. The little bit of face peering out from behind the bass drum is my girl, Cinderisa. Come to think of it, this was her first show in weeks.

This would be the snare line; which I believe she will be in next year. I've been corrected - she will be trying out for "Tenors," which is five drums. (Dear, Lord, please allow me to handle more of this wonderful sound to come from the bedroom she resides. )

No, I do not handle the sound of the banging of drums too well. In fact, before the show was over, before her group was up to perform, I was regretting that I'd forgotten my abortive. We stayed long enough to watch her and quickly left.

Bang! Bang! Bang! It has felt as though my head were inside of the drums. I had asked her lastweek to draw the aura I've been getting, while I explained it to her. Now, I've decided to paint it for myself. It seems to be much easier, as it's been something I've been wanting to do for the past three years, but haven't. The lack of concentration seemed always to get in the way. But now, I have a burning desire to just get it out on canvas. hey, maybe it'll go away. you just never know.

I will say this, in the bigger picture, looking over the past three years, I am in a much better place as far as the migraines go. They still come and take over, but it's not a constant over-bearing presence like it was. My days are lived in a more tolerable pain scale of a daily 3ish. Unlike the daily 7-9 that I used to live with.

I know they are ever present, in their cunning ways; the aura - the reminder. The lack of dealing with sound and light, motion or too much of any change in my life. Still, overall, my life is more livable. This is somewhere I didn't think I would see or feel or live. Just a few short years ago. And yet, here I am. I am proof that the right doctor and the right combination of meds CAN work. And I am NOT an easy case. The limitations, adverse reactions, allergies to medications, tia's, differing types of migraines; just to ramble off a few, make prescribing me any sort of medication risky, to say the least.

But treating Migraine Disease (and NO, it's really not just a headache) is do-able. Now, if I could just get some sleep at night, that might help me out a little.

Hoping you are pain-free today

Monday, March 24, 2008

Ahh, Easter Sunday. (please ignore the laundry basket); brisk and naturally cold here in our area. A balmy 24 degrees, albeit very sunny and bright. Too bright for me. Yes, the life of a migraineur. Never happy. Complain when it rains, because of the barometric pressure causing the dull thud, and complain when the sun shines; because well, photo-sensitive. nag nag nag.

Where was I? Easter Sunday. After our service at church, which was by all rights very lovely; but extremely loud for me. Another problem I must complain about - noise/sound - everything lately , and I do mean everything, is at an all-time high volume. Everywhere I go. I must remember to carry earplugs with me for such occassions. You know, like life in general. However, the service, despite the volume was wonderful.

Once we were home, I'm guessing you can tell what Lexi and Nick

were up to, a good old fashioned egg hunt. Bri and the girls opted to sit that out and just watch and wait for the candy to come to them. Then we were off to my Mom's to deliver an Easter Lily and off to Nonna's. . . . .

where we spent the remainder of the day and part of the evening. As you can see by Lexi's incredibly large and gleaming smile, which she now always shows off, (and yes, I'm cracking up looking at her - she is such a nut!) , she enjoyed Nonno more than anything. Wait, that is, except for the carrot cake, two pieces, yes TWO, of cheese cake - topped with cherries, and more ham, and more turkey; he just continued to pile more and more on her plate.

Why??? Well, because Nonno likes to make sure YOU eat. Lexi enjoys eating and she just has a problem not knowing when to stop. This made for a wonderful pair. Look at the picture again. When Frank and I were finally on to the notion of how much he was piling into her and onto her plate, we sort of freaked out. literally. I explained, calmly, and laughing that she might just explode or dis-embowel right there on the spot; as she won't stop eating.

Frank on the other hand, wasn't as ummm, friendly. He talked, rather loudly at Uncle Vince, that's what we call him, and told him in no uncertain way, to STOP GIVING HER FOOD!

He insisted, Nonno/Uncle Vince, that she must still be hungry; or he just didn't know any better. Again, look at the picture. It was very funny. He is so cute. For Lexi's sake, I let her top button open. She thought I was taking her away from him, and she slapped my hand and told me, "zip it Mom!" Her way of letting me know, she's not taking any crap. go away, leave me alone.

And then it was time for her and Bri to be picked up; Michelle was at the house to get them and bring them home. She didn't want to leave his side. She bolted her rear in the chair, refused to allow ME to put her coat on; oh no, Nonno had to do it. She chooses who will be her pet for the day, and he was it.
She is such a joyful child! This smile is somewhere between devious and happy. But when she is NOT happy, look out. She can be an absolute terror. I wonder if it is because her lack of true communication lies deep down, and she is just frustrated; with herself, or her environment. Or does she really understand any of it at all, to be frustrated with? She does emit anger, though. But 99% of the time, this is what you will see on this childs face. Pure happiness. Silly, happy, joyful Alexa. Eternal child. Thankfully, she really doesn't understand what life has dealt her.
I do believe that one day, one sweet glorious day, she will be made perfect. And I can't wait to meet her again on that day, next to my Lord. What a day that will be. I wonder if I will miss that goofy, silly smile. Or if I'll even remember it.

Well, for now, I can cherish it, enjoy it and have fun with it. Love her, play with her, make sure she's happy and well-taken care of. to the very best of my ability. And pray she never EVER experiences a migraine. seriously.
hoping you all had a beautiful Easter

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

B'gosh and B'gora

Three more ways to have fun with pets: humiliation

Well look who's wearin' the green, will ya? Ah, yes; me Leprechan was found out yonder in the backyard just this morning. But he didn't bring me no pot of gold, mind ya. No rainbows, or blarney stone. Ah, but me did find a chewed bag of kitty food. HOW he got that, is just a mere wonder. Considering we buy them in 20lb bags.

Serves him right to wear the stupid hat.


As for the cats; well, they were forced, and Bosco is just plain
pitiful, adorable, sweet. Stupid. But he is cute. You can see by the look on his face that he wasn't totally into the whole wearing of the green thing. But hey, if the hat fits, right!
He is so funny.

Nala on the other hand, is totally pissed off. She is growling at Christina here, and I told her to put her down and let her go, immediately after the picture was taken. She doesn't appreciate having her fur ruffled. As it is, it takes her all day to get it just the way she likes it. Then to have the Cat Mawler come along and put this hideous looking thing on her little kitty head, hold her up for the camera and snort and giggle, well, she is NOT amused. She is kitty mad. And growling. And she does growl.

Nala does the typical kitty-walk thing when you put something on their little heads; she walks......backwards. with her head down. Now that part was funny. But the video was dead, Nala was getting angrier by the second; and it was time to go for dinner.

Yesterday was my birthday so Frank took the day off. We spent it SHOPPING. Oh, and I rid my hair of the pesky little whites that invaded. We bought an Easter bunny for, well Easter, for my Mother-in-law. I will be unsurprising her with that today. Frank wasn't supposed to let her know we were doing that, but he didn't know that, so he told. anyhooooo.

I need to go to Target and have them load my new Gazebo into the van. Yeahhhhhh!!!!! I can't wait for the weather to finally get nice enough to enjoy again. I love spending time on our deck, and now I will be able to under my new gazebo, with netting. Frank will be able to smoke his cigars out there, the kids can relax and we can play games and just eat, play have fun outside. I love the spring/summer time outdoors. When we can enjoy it, that is. Frank likes the sun, the kids and I enjoy the shade. So we will all be able to enjoy the deck. I cannot wait! I need to find some relaxing outdoor furniture to refinish.

For now, it's off to get ready; the sun is shining, for now. The headache is at a dull thud, again, for now. So, I'm off.

wishing you all a pain-free day

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Another Day, Another Migraine

Alas, you've come again, my foe. Never friend. You've stayed longer than many friends dare stay; perhaps you just frighten them away. Thinking you somehow might rub off onto them. Eeew, if only it was true. If I could rub you off, to someone other than me; who would I give you to?
You seek me out, when least expecting, feeling good and not suspecting. I wasn't prepared for your return; just go away, please stop the burn. In and out the knife; so deep. Must you interupt my sleep? The stars, the swirls, the spinning lights. The NeverEnding show at night.
My ears, how you pierce them with pain and sound. Making it difficult to move around. My balance and gait, my unsteady ways. I look like I've been drinking - I'm in such a daze.
I'm seeking for solace for tranquility, peace. But you bring me nothing but pain and unease. I writhe and I twitch and vomit and scream! Hallucinate, cover my eyes, mouth and ears - just to dream. But my dreams become nightmares of your horrible face - the demon called 'Migraine,' one I can never erase.
Oh, sometimes you ease up, yes, just a bit, for a while; just to tempt me, torment me, to tease me, I think it's your syle. Yet you never do leave altogether at all. So I'm left here to curl up once again in my ball. Impatiently waiting, crying in pain, with the smallest of headache until the next Migraine.
Oh, yes, the demon struck again. We were fortunate enough to have the sun shine on us yesterday; maybe that is what did it. The sun poking through the trees as I was driving, and then in the living room, regardless; it HIT me hard. TOO hard. I do so hate this demon.
hope you are pain-free
this is funny, I just read this on my box of tea:
"Hope is a waking dream"