Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Memorial Day?

Old Glory. ..... Hung at half it's mast, in honor of those who serve, have served, lost their lives; are missing still.

How many of our freedoms are taken for granted, and are being lost daily, a little at a time?

Does the sound of the horn bring you to tears? Do you even bother to go to listen?

When the guns are fired, and the fallen soldier is saluted, is your head bowed in respect? Do you understand the tears in his eyes?

Is a parade in your agenda, neighborhood, or have they become a memory of your childhood? They, I have found, are fading, and decreasing in size. As our older veterans are passing with time, our newer veterans of war, are not partaking in parades. Who do you see in the parade of Memorial Day? Look around you; it is stunning, to me, how sad it has become in our Nation. We have forgotten what freedom means.

I remember grand parades, with floats, horses, fancy cars, several school bands, and local fire departments. The side of the road, BOTH sides were packed full of patrons, eager to see the parade. It was a high-light of summer's opening. Children were lined up on the curb, waiting for the candy to be thrown from the beautifully decorated floats. Music would be playing, horns blowing from the firetrucks. Guns in the back ground would make us jump.

What has made us become so complacent? Why do we no longer care so much for the parades, the parties, our freedom to celebrate it? How incredibly sad. We do indeed need to change if desire to remain a FREE nation. What will YOU do to change that?

These last two pictures are of Cinderisa and her sidekick; we were able to ride in the firetruck after the parade yesterday. Can you see the excitement in their eyes. Look at the joy in the men, a little thing like "a ride in a firetruck" was all it took. What will it be for you? Hey, I know that won't change the world, it wasn't my point, either. Afterall, riding in a firetruck couldn't possibly keep a nation free, right? But how did we get there? What did we do to obtain a ride in a County-paid firetruck on Memorial Day with a few decorated firemen???? We weren't afraid to ask. Speak up. Ask.

One little lesson I told them both yesterday, "ask, speak up, open your mouth." I mean, if all you do is sit back and wait for everyone else to do all the work, NOTHING gets done.

And we got to ride the firetruck. oh, and they did blow the horns.

Hoping you have a pain-free day.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

This is Alexis; and no, she is NOT sitting on a toilet, she is getting a pedicure. By me. In her room, actually. Before the Prom. For anyone who knows me, I am NOT, I repeat, NOT NOT NOT a foot person. I abhor feet. Any and all, except for brand new baby feet, which I think are just adorable for reasons I don't know why myself, they are just the cutest. I do play with my cats feet. Oh and come to mention it, I like Isis' feet. I hate people feet. In all actuality, pets have paws, people don't, so that doesn't really count. I'm rambling. These are the conversations Frank hates to get into with me. I just go on and on. Forget what I was talking about. What WAS I talking about???

Oh, the pedicure. That's right, I gave Alexis, not to confuse you with Lexi, that is my girl, and she didn't go to the Prom, although that would be so much fun to have her all dressed up and stuff.......drifting again. gave Alexis a pedicure, complete with rubbing her feet, and I don't normally touch feet of any kind, but I rather enjoyed it. I painted her nails after buffing her feet. And she looked so pretty. here, I'll show you. But first let me just tell you about this incredible young lady, she made her own dress. Made. Her. Own. Prom. Dress. Amazing.

What an amazing girl. By the way, her parents were so nice to host the pre-Prom party and then the after-party for some of the girls.
The guys, so very charming! All dressed up and they were so nice and well-mannered.

Now Cinderisa decided she was going to do her own toes, and did not want the pedicure. She did let me do her hair. And I made her bracelet and matching anklet. Her necklace was a gift from Nonna from Italy. She looked so pretty.

What a beautiful bunch of girls. The weather really stunk for pictures! We had a terrible storm system come through the area and two tornadoes touched down nearby. So unfortunately, it rained all day long, and hard.

Today, my Lexi girl attended the Special Olympics (scholastic) and received a blue ribbon - 1st place for 35m race. She was very proud of it. Not too shabby for a little girl, rather young lady I was told would never walk.

I just love this picture of her looking up in the sun. It's too sweet. Just like her. She is the sweetest thing, really. So innocent and wonderful. I am truly a blessed woman to have such beautiful children. Thank you, Lord. What a wonderful gift.

On Tuesday I went in for my scheduled Cryo-procedure, and I'm quite certain he hit both nerves this time around. Oh yes, I'm sure of it. I went straight to bed when I got home from surgery, and my head felt as though my brain was short-circuiting. The "zip-zapping" was starting and the strangest of all auras that stream and fly and race around in the zig-zagging ways. The sounds that came along "whizzing" "buzzing" "whirrling" "humming" in the high-pitch and low-moan all at the same time. Undescribable really, and yet easy to see in my mind and hear. so so very hard to explain. Only someone who knows can really get it, or explain it, or understand what I mean. If I'd never encountered it before, I'd swear I was going crazy. But I'd been in this aura and meanness of migraine too many many MANY times before. The clutching of the claws around my scalp, the gouging of my eyeballs as they are being blown out of their sockets. The fork tines as they scrape their sounds in my ears and ring in the heart of my teeth.

Where do the sounds come from? And from nowhere? How can I be at complete peace in one instant, and then so totally engulfed in intoxicating agony the next?? Blinded by shooting light and beams and what ARE they exactly?? The spinning squares. The darts. Where do they come from? Oh, and the voices that suddenly make complete sense of well, everything! An awakening of sorts. So surreal. All gone by the time it's over.

Today, I feel exhausted and just hanging by a thread; at the point where I'm anxious to get back to my regularly scheduled life - whatever that is. But too afraid to do too much, in the event the migraine comes back. Too tired to do any of it. I am hoping this cryo will work and hold on for a good, long time.

For now, my doctors, both pain and neuro are looking into neuro stim devices for me, the drugs are failing. And yet, the insurance company may just say "NO!" altogether. Not just to the devices, but to us, in general. We like many others out there, are in jeapordy of losing our pension. We are losing our dental and optical come July. But I'm not a pessimist, I don't worry about such things. When Frank gets worried, I tell him, not to worry, because the Lord knows what is at hand for us already before we do.

I am a blessed woman. Yep, I have miserable migraines. Everyone has something. My garden is blooming. I have been in it this year! My kids are awesome. Healthy. Smart. Love the Lord. Love their Mom. They still ride in the same car with me, and talk to me. with their friends in the car. I hear that other kids their age don't do this. weird.

wishing you a painfree day

Friday, May 08, 2009

If you've never heard the mating call of a fox at 4:30 in the morning, startling you from the slumber of your hard-to-find sleep, you just don't know what you're missing. It has a sort of hoarse sound of a woman screaming, if you can understand that. It's very creepy. And when you're asleep, startled, and hear it, you really think it is a woman screaming.

This fox, well, not this exact fox - lives in the little bit of woods that runs along the back of our property, that aligns the property along the neighborhood behind us. Every few weeks, it calls out in the middle of the night, for hours, screaming and screaching for a mate. Apparently, no mate has been found.

Poor, sad, lonely little loud-mouth fox. I heard him, and I'm sure it was a him, why afterall would a her yell in the middle of the night for a him?? HA! I heard him through my earplugs. He yelled his red fluffy head off for over an hour or more. She never does come to the den for him, or maybe she does, and then she runs away and that's why he start screaming again.

Yesterday, and Tuesday I was suffering with the monster. I aborted, to no avail, was awaken with aura, the typical screaming in the ears, fuzzy wuzzy feeling that seems to come with it and a full schedule, to which was shortened from the monster. Today, the buzzing in my head and the monster are taking over; and yet the sun shining in my window is making me want to, no think of doing something other than rest. But I know I can't do it for now. I should just jab myself and make it go away.

Don't you just love the pic! Cinderisa did this in art class, pretty good indication of our migraine on abortive. OR, the poison leaving the brain. She does good migraine art for a kid who hasn't had a migraine, but must endure watching her Mom suffer.

Ok, time to abort the monster and get out in this positively beautiful day the Lord has given me. For all you Mom's out there, I wish you a wonderful Mother's Day, and a pain-free on at that.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Hello again my faithful followers. Thank you for visiting. It has been an interesting month indeed. It's hard to believe that May is here already. (note to self, pics of green must be taken before the snow flies)

I visited my neuro a few weeks ago, and now, ugh, here is what we are looking at: since my only abortive, now via injection, is lacking in it's working ability; it's now time to consider the neuro-stim device, as the cryo seems to work pretty well. Soooooooo, when I see my pain doc next week, it's time to get the insurance company to agree - which should prove interesting, since they are still in disagreement for Namenda!!!! Wish me luck.

I have been reluctant to agree to the device(s) for the past two years with my pain doc, and since the cryo has been proving itself to keep the migraines somewhat lower than normal, well, I suppose it's time to give it a try.

Oh joy, the weather has changed again, you just gotta love Spring! Woke up, well, sort of, not really, just rolled over - the other day feeling that, you know, sick migrainey feeling all over. You know the feeling right? Stomach sort of ickey-like, numb in the face, ears ringing, pins and needles feeling, not quite right, yawning, out of sorts, HEY, I feel like that right now. And like I want to just go back to bed. Unfortunately, due to my schedule today, I cannot. I will get through the day, I will get through the day.

So, here I go. I can do this. fuzzy, yes, but I can still do it.

May you all have pain-free days.