Thursday, March 22, 2007

Good News. Bad News

Good News:
As you know, we made it to the NIT

Bad News:
As you now know, we lost to Clemson lastnight. Stink. We could have done without watching Juli's little boys crying. seriously. That was pitiful. Cinderisa understood why they were carryingonliketheirdaddyallhysterical sobbing in their seats. However; the Catmawler, needed much explaining, I wasn't feeling well, and she still didn't get it. what can i say, she's blonde.

Good News:
Infusion Center is due to open on May 2nd

Bad News:
Duh. oh, and i get to see the dentist again today. here's my Q? if having a crown makes one a princess; what does having more than l make? cause I got more than just l. and i am the queen-bee as frank calls me, got the crowns to prove it now. just sayin. by the way, i quit with the capital letters for today

Good News:
my pets were NOT eating the foods listed on the "do not feed" list

now i know which cat is barfing. as i watched as bosco did so. on my COUCH. next to me. this morning. did i forget to mention that in the last 4 days i've had the misfortune of that feeling you get when you think you're going to lose the contents of your stomach, your legs and feet; so you move real fast, head starts to get hot, ears, neck, everything. you make it to the bathroom, only to just barely bend to the disgustingly dirty bowl - why hasn't someone cleaned the stinking toilet by now??? am i the only person living in this place?? hello!! you notice that not only are the rim and the bowl dirty, but the floor around the bowl dirty, and what color is that exactly, how does dust get THERE??!!! why does it appear dry on wet, sticky gooey - oh my god i need to barf!! nothing. NOTHING. the eyes start to wander for more dirt and grime, not sure why really , but they do, and you scour the floor, and heat vent for more, all the while, the ears are just burning. now, this is the room the children use to brush their teeth, so you (stupidly) move your gaze to the sink, of course they don't rinse the sink. these are your children. and although you've taught them to do this, they don't. onto the chart on the fridge - the beloved chore list, appointing bathroom duties. so while i'm now up in the kitchen, because afterall, the barf - it didn't happen again - take zofran to ease that yucky feeling. oh, and notice more grime - shocker, i know

good news:
it's supposed to hit 60 someting degrees today

bad news:
i will be reclined in a chair at my dentist office for fillings. again. the drugs i take to ease my pain, have many strange side-effects. and though i've learned to brush and floss like a pro,and an obsessive freak i might add, the effect it's had has power to overcome it - arid, extra dry. i have had to succomb to chewing gum to keep from drying out. and i'm wondering if that in itself, is another one of those catch-22. chew gum=decay OR dry out = decay from dry rot. either way, my fear of being in the dentist chair has been overcome. i love my dentist. she is a wonderful woman. i would recommend her, her husband and staff to anyone. she explains procedures in a way i understand them. OH, and i no longer pass out in the chair - bonus. however, am i thrilled that i need to go today? not so much, as i don't feel so good today. got one cooking in the cranial region of my body. again.

good news:
there is a method to my madness

bad news:
i stumbled upon it. i'm scared of myself. here is how stupid i am. first, let me start by saying this; last week last week last WEEK. i sent out ALL of my prescriptions to medco the stupid prescription company we've been assigned to for our drugs. they have been assigned to ME, to keep my migraines under CONTROL, AND. AND!!!!!! SOME ANXIETY ISSUES I'M SEEMING TO FIND I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE. it's still under discussion. i don't know

soooooooooo. i'm waiting waiting waiting, like dora the fish, swimming swimming swimming. you get my point right. going to the mailbox. i have this one little important drug called CYMBALTA. it has a rather calming effect when it's taken all of the time. it also keeps my migraines at bay, for the most part. alright, not so much ok. so. i'm really waiting for that and the rest of the stuff to come. like i said. i sent these out last week. i check online, several times. nothing. i send a letter via email and get letter back with "we received no precriptions, please try again" - my ship has sunk. here's why. i'm feeling a little edgy. not quite sure, but i'm noticing, hmmmm, that as i'm taking my meds, something 'colorful' seems wrong. (CYMBALTA) these are the colors they are in, in my capsules. and yesterday, i noticed, yes.! that i hadn't taken any. in fact, i noticed that the entire week hadn't been filled with any. D'OH.

houston, we have a problem! now i call my docs office and try to relate this problem as best i can. which, i'm sure, came out somewhat twisted and confused, as well, that's pretty much the way i. sort. of. am. but that's besides the point. thankfully, my drugs have been faxed to stupid medco, thank you thankyouthankyou linda!!! (i hear angels singing) AND, I was blessed with a 2 week supply of samples. oh, and i believe i tried to explain to her that, "i'm usually really good with this sort of thing."

actually, i don't recall running out of my meds. of course, i can't recall my own phone number, anniversary date OR my daughters birthdate either. so i guess this doesn't coutn for much does it. oops

wow. i'm screwed. like big time.

this is the scary part. i had to drive lastnight. i know! i know! it was scary, trust me. but don't worry, cinderisa is a really good co-pilot. she was all, "it's ok, mom, calm down. you can do this" she is so funny. talk about mirror-image.

this is where i feel as if i've been morphed into sam kinneson(sp) or some other screaming freak from that generation. wait, that's my generation. ah AH AHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

she wanted me to listen to some blink 182 song she wants to do for the talent show at school; and well, i was on edge enough already. 3 seconds into the song, my heart starts to race, my face must have resembled somethin out of a steven king movie; the brake lights ahead of me just weren't looking like anything but aura and ambulance and an invite to something better, if you know what i mean. it's a good thing that, at that point, i wasn't the one driving, frank was. that was on the way to church. anyway, i started to listen, and quickly realized i couldn't, my body started to shake and jerk, my face contorted and twitched, "get it out! please i can't deal with that right now, it's too much." i couldn't figure out how to remove the disc, nothing. my brain simply shut down. like now. the words just don't come. " remove the disc" what is that word?? oh oh oh - eject! that's right, like REJECT.

BUT when you function like me, it doesn't come right away. it comes out like i just put it there. literally, exactly like that. i seek and search and wrack my brain for a word or phrase, and thankfully, the people that know me, or my disease, get me. wow - THAT - is scary. when someone gets ME.

so i need to go pull myself together for my dentist appointment.

Good News: I'm not driving

Bad New: I'll probably drive her crazy.

1 comment:

Emily said...

oh dear. the bad news seems to 'outweigh' the good news in this post!

also i'm pretty sure sugar free gum (like extra, trident), won't cause decay; they supposedly help get your teeth cleaner than not chewing. obviously not as good as brushing, but....i love to chew gum after i've eaten.