Monday, May 12, 2008

Contemplation















My baby is now a first-grader; which puts him in school for a full day. (Yes, I do realize this is the end of the school year and most kids are just finishing up right now. work with me here) Regardless, baby, in school all day. Just like his sisters.



Frank is now home. He has been retired. I am no longer, thankfully, in the terrible shape I was in Migraine-wise just a few short years ago. I still get them, I know I probably always will. So here's my thought:



I want to go back to school. My husband supports me, thinks it's a great idea to follow my dream; but I am terrified! I know I can do it, and I am excited, and yet there is still this fear in me. Maybe it's because I'm no longer 20 or 30 something, and returning to school. My kids think it's great, so why the fear?? The unknown, maybe? It is exciting, I must say, as we take each little step and see how God will choose to either open or close the door for me.



Did I mention that he's tossing around the idea of returning also? How cool, huh. So for anyone who suffers from the depths of Migraine hell and is also new to my blog; I'd like to say this: I thought at one time I was never going to get better. That my life was forever to be ruled by the beast, because it was, rather I was feeling robbed and overwhelmed by it.



But there really is hope. I did find a wonderful doctor, I was very fortunate. I know of some who are not so; who still struggle, physically and financially, to find that perfect doctor. The one who will help them with the perfect meds. Who will listen. But, when you finally find that ONE who can do just that alone, wow, listen!! Take the time to just listen to you, isn't it just amazing?? When you find the right specialist, the right doctor, have patience - both of you - it takes time for the right mixture of the right medications to work. And they will.



I never believed it would happen to me. Here I am, looking into returning to school! When I told my parents lastnight, I was a little hesitant. I was afraid of ridicule or laughter from them. But instead, they were happy for me and thought it was a great idea. Whoa! At first, though, I must say, my Dad did mention to me he thought I'd go back into Sign Language Interpretation. But it's not my dream, and that is what I told him. So he told me to just go for what I needed to do.



I have a sign hanging in my bathroom, that has been nagging me. Here, let me show you:










I'm supposed to be making phone calls today. I haven't done much of anything, but post this here post. I have been neglecting my site, my email, all things computer-related lately.



OOH, my wonderful husband bought me a laptop for Mother's Day. Now I can post pretty much anywhere. Like on my deck, porch, or school, HA. That sounds funny. If the wind would stop blowing, I could finish painting my wicker set.

These:
But I'm not telling anymore until they're finished. I have got SO much to do.
I hope you have a wonderful day. And by the way, for all you Beautiful Mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day.
Deborah

6 comments:

Emily said...

oh, deb, that'd be so great if you could go back to school! what would you study?

so you need to tell us what has worked for you with the migraines. you found a great doctor - but what treatments or meds finally helped? just reading that you've gotten through where i am now gives me hope!

Christy said...

It's kind of sad to see them strap on the old backpack and take off. Now you'll have to get your own backpack. Or will you take online courses? There are so many more opportunities for learning now than there used to be (it seems to me, anyway.) Have fun.

Yes, My Name Is Really Brooklynn said...

Well this is truly good news!!! YEAH!!! I am really happy to hear that you will be living out your sign :)

So, what did the doctor place you on?

Migraine Chick said...

Oh I love that sign! and congrats on the lap top. I've been wanting one forever!

Megan Oltman said...

Deb this is really great news! How exciting. Hope you got to the phone calls by now, but remember, letting people know what you're up to also makes things happen - kind of making it real out there, and creating other people to help hold on to your dream for you. Good for you.
- Megs

yellojkt said...

Go for it. In five years, you will be five years older whether you have a degree or not, so you might as well get one.