Sunday, May 18, 2008


My new toy has become an addiction. I was told, by Frank just moments ago, that I spent all of my waking hours today on it. I did crash for a much needed nap around 3:30, as learning about all of the new and interesting hardware is exhausting.

The picture is amazing. I have been having so much fun viewing beautiful blogs that I love. It's incredible what I've been missing on that big old monitor that we just gave to the kids. which we are now rethinking, and considering getting them a flat-screen. Frank's new screen - wow, totally beautiful. We've neglected our eyes for far too long. Maybe this is part of my migraines. I don't miss the flickering of the big bad screen. This has no flicker AT ALL. Just superb clarity.

And the desk space he has now! ooooh weeee. For me, my desk is now my lap and I love it. I no longer need to switch from his identity to my identity on the main computer. He has his computer, I have mine. Mine has my own email. And now the kids have their own computer for homework. And the ever-needed MP3 players. Something I don't own, don't look at owning. I guess I'm still stuck on my CD players; home and car. just call me old school. He did ask if I wanted an ipod, but, I don't really get it to be honest. And, it's just one more thing to learn to adapt to.

Today, I will be meeting with the admissions counselor at my local university. We have eliminated one school altogether for cost purposes. The tuition for which I am seeking, vs the other schools in the area was, well more than twice as much. And it it didn't offer anything more as far as a degree, etc. Soooo, buh bye.

Thank you for the positive feedback by the way. So far, I've only had one negative response, which I don't pay too much attention to. Oh alright, I'll share it with you, you've twisted my arm.

I told a 'friend' of mine I was planning to go back to school, and she has been a friend for 20+ years, so she's seen me go through it all, her response was; "how are YOU going to work?" Ouch. Boy that was snide

It was also the last time I spoke to her - yeah, shocker. I know. This has been a long, long time coming. It's not the first remark or incidence that has come up. It's not the only one that has come up to me, they come to my husband and my kids as well. And yet, for years, I remained the faithful friend to a toxic friendship.
So what do you do when you see the friendship come to the inevitable toxic end? Send a card? Leave it alone, and stop calling altogether? How does one go about abolishing the toxic so-called friendships and/or relationships we have in our lives? Is there a right or wrong way to do it? Should I send a letter to Miss Manners and ask her opinion? NOT!
For now, I'm just leaving the friendship. Taking a sort of vacation, if you will. My husband has been reprimanded for - let's see now, how shall I put this, speaking to her daughter on PTSD in my home. Her boyfriend is away in Iraq and she was talking to Frank about Philip. She had been asking him how he was doing, and Frank was asking the same. A very mild conversation between the two of them. Frank had mentioned a book he has been reading on PTSD for parents and loved-ones of war vets; and had asked if she'd be interested in reading the book.
Anyhoo; the next day or so, he tells me of this phone call he gets from this 'friend' who ripped him a new butt hole for bringing her daughter (mind you, she is a young adult who lives on her own) to tears about the conversation. And how she's already told him "about this conversation once already" - you know, because he needs to be spoken to like a four-year old.
He has been so very nice and patient with her. He just listened very calmly; how, I don't know. Oh, wait I almost forgot. She mentioned how she has been a professional and worked with PTSD. Kill me now someone.
So, my question again is this; how do you deal with toxic friends? This is the same person, who when I was in a hospital 800 miles away, was supposed to be taking loving care of my children. BUT instead, they tell me, was using them as her personal little maids. My littlest girl was gathering her dirty laundry while she was supposed to be getting on the bus; and was late for school. She still brings this up. The dirty laundry part especially. This part I've neglected to bring up to her, and I'm not sure why really. Maybe embarrassment.
Enough. It's time for me to get ready for my interview. Wish me luck.


Emily said...

good luck on your interview! you'll be great!!

i just sent an email about your screen resolution... :)

Migraine Chick said...

Ouch! I feel your pain with your toxic friend. I've had to end a toxic friendship as well, because she made such a remark to me, and I knew things had come to an end. I opted for the stop contacting her option. It's been a few years and it still hurts. Hang in there!

MaxJerz said...

I'm late to this post, but better late than never, right? I've dealt with quite a number of those "toxic" friends in my life - it seems that we come up against them more often with chronic disease than other people would - and I've dealt with them a few different ways. I think the more successful way for me is to just leave the friendship. Sometimes I'll send a note or an email to the toxic person in question, but sometimes I won't. It depends on if I feel there's something I need to get off my chest.

Hope things are going well with you otherwise. And I fully support your decision to go back to school - good for you!