Thursday, October 11, 2007

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Should you drive with a migraine? Rather, do YOU drive when you haven't been able to get away from your current raging case of the beast? What happens when there is no alternative? When you have to bite the bullet?

It's a very scary task, indeed, in my life. In all reality, and in all all seriousness, I try my best to stay away from the road when I'm feeling like I have been. With the exception of lastnight, the last time I remember driving, wow, I can't! It's been a long time. Weeks, perhaps 3, maybe 4. I think it may have been Delta Sonic. OOOH.

Anyway; Frank went to get Rocco with Marisa and dropped Nick off at AWANA on his way. He figured he might have time to pick him up on his way home, but he didn't. So, Christina and I set out for him. A very interesting ride, indeed.

You know it's going to be fun when you can't decipher the red/green differential at the light. Hmm, stay or go? Ever been in that dilemma in a migraine? It totally blows. But I needed to get my son; "Focus, Deb. G G G green is go." That is what the voice in my head was saying.

Oh the fun of it all. We get behind a schoolbus, that drops bags as it turned into our lane. So, naturally, it stopped traffic,to retrieve the said bags; which doesn't bother me, but irritates the fast-paced life of the man 3 cars behind me. He feels the need to fly by me, on the left, in the wrong lane, to get to his little life that can't wait.

What is UP with people? Everyone is in such a hurry. And not a nice hurry, a MAD hurry. This was a school bus, that dropped school back packs; and kids got off to pick them up. And here is this mad man flying up the middle of the lane, 20MPH zone by the way, and he wasn't going no 20MPH; no wonder kids are shooting at each other. Well, that and the lack of God in their little lives. Another post.

I made it to church to pick up Nicholas, luckily. But, I now have to go to, yeah, I still have to go to somewhere else. The store.

This is the time [Migraine time] when I can't put a complete thought together without strain. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how long this post took. A migraineur will. Decision-making, forget it. I just look to whomever is with me, literally, and tell them to decide for me; because I am unable to make a decision at this very moment.

There are those of you out there who know exactly what I'm talking about. Frank calls it my "Kid in the candy store syndrome." I will go to the store with him, we'll separate, he will fill his cart, he'll come back to where I was standing, and I'm still just standing and staring. Nothing in my cart. Can't decide what I want, or really, what I was there for. It would be easier if the product would just speak for me, or to me. I am, afterall, there for the listening.

He used to get angry and/or frustrated; thankfully, now he just sort of goes with it. Takes my hand, smiles or laughs and tries to make light of it. Lastnight; however, I dragged Christina with me. I needed someone. Unfortunately, we had Nicholas with us. Not a good thing. He was powered up with the Holy Spirit. Not really. He was just powered up!! I was like a kid in a candy store, he was like a kid on candy - and Christina, well, she had to play the part of parent. At 12. Poor kid.

Me, "What are we here for?"

12yr old parent; "We need bread, blah blah blah da da da ta ta da ada dddd dee dee dee dee d dzzzzzzzzzz"

Well, that's pretty much what I heard once I got into the store with it's ultra violet lighting; it set off the rockets red glare sound effects in my stinking EARS!!

I KNOW, WHY DON'T THEY MAKE A MIGRAINE SAFE SHOPPING AREA!!!! huh, why not?? Is it so much to ask???

She also needed to get her "things" for her science project. (Oh, now I had to think)! ribosomes? protoplasms? fava beans, .......

Lest I forget to mention, the sweet little man, the very powered-up little guy that I have been missing during the day, yeah that one. I don't miss him in the grocery store. Matter of fact, I desire my own time in the grocery store most times. This is not one of them. Tonight power boy is not himself either, no no, he has decided to be "Canihav," and I am not sure I like this child so much.

As in: Speed talk powered up, mind you, "Mom, canihav?" holding up box of Cocoa Crispi's.
"No, Nick. I'm buying the Apple oatmeal you asked me to buy AND the waffles."
"MOM, canihav?" now he's flashing eyebrows and smiling at me with bag of goldfish.
"No. Please, Nick, let's go. I got these." Pointing to yummy bananas. mmmmm
"Mom, canihav?" shows me Airheads. and says, and this is cute. "I'll LET you buy my sisters one!" and flashes more smiles and eyebrows.
"MOM!! canihav a balloon? canihav gum? canihav candy?"

To the shampoo aisle. "Please just pick me a shampoo and let's get out of here!" that was me.

And after what seemed like an eternity, we made it to the car, Frank's car, which I don't normally drive. Now, it's raining. Of course it's raining. It's also dark. Two things which make it very hard to drive. for me anyway. We get it loaded up, get in. I start it and notice that the brake light is on. Weird. So where is the brake release? I turn the inside lights on, which, of course are not nearly bright enough to display leg area. Nice. I feel a lever, oh, this must be it, I pull and hear a click. Hmmm, light doesn't go off. Which means, the hood just opened. Great! I feel yet another lever. Yep, pull, and presto, light off. Yippee freakin' doo. The blonde (which she is now) is laughing at me. I would be, too. Get out of car, in the pouring rain, slam stupid hood. Off. we. go.

7pm, yeah - 7 P! M! I kept looking at the clock wondering if it was correct. They were out washing the dirty dog; and by dirty, I am so totally underestimating that word. When they picked him up, apparently, the whites of his paws did not exist. AND they forgot the camera. So no pictures of Sweetie. Cinderisa's fault. She got to wash him at the dogwash while Frank filled the van for me. But because it was raining, he didn't get it washed. That may happen today. I sure hope so, because they said he smelled like poo. I will not get in my van with any smell. ANY. SMELL.

I have been carrying a Febreeze bottle with me lately because of my head. The little tree dangling air freshners are too strong for me right now. But the Febreeze, I can handle that. If I start gagging at something, I just spray it. In fact, I've actually been sort of toting it from van to house now that I think of it. Sick.

Well, my attempts at infusion have been a failure, so I'm going to try the cryo procedure again. I'm scheduled for the 22nd, and I just don't know if I can even hold on that long. The new med was helping me sleep until about 4 this morning when this boulder hit me square in the face. It's been slamming me over and over and over overoverover and over since. I'm sure some of it may be due to the weather?? Although, we did have great weather last week and it was like this. I just don't know.

Hoping you have a painfree day


Migraineur said...

This is terrible, Deb. I soooo sympathize with the driving predicament. I came down with an aura while driving through a construction zone. We don't actually own a car; this is a rental; my husband is not authorized to drive it; and anyway, there is no freakin' shoulder to pull over on. So I had to get him to navigate. "Honey, assume that I can see all the signs but can't read any of them."

I sympathize with the fluorescent light predicament. I am a big user of compact fluorescents, but I was rather alarmed to read in the Economist a few months ago that a lot of countries are banning incandescents as a result of the carbon crisis. My FIL is a professional environmentalist, so I don't disagree in principle - but I absolutely need to have one incandescent bulb in my house at all times! (If the US ever bans them, I wonder if it will be possible to get them by prescription, for medical reaons.) I'm sure you understand.

Feel well!

deborah said...

funny on the bulbs - we've changed all of our bulbs to the energy-saving type in our house. Boy do we have a lot of bulbs. Anyway, I was going to do post about Carbon Footprint; but way too deep for me to get into right now.

I'll let you take that one on.

Migraineur said...

You want me to write a blog entry on carbon? This might be hard to believe coming from someone who writes a lot about low-carb, but if I start writing about global warming, I'm afraid I'll start attracting vicious attacks from wackos.

I think I'll pass. :)

deborah said...

you're right - let's both stick to what we both feel comfy with...

leave the environmental things up to, well, the greenies. I don't want the hate mail either.

Dr.Carley Clan said...

I must admit i have been there. We try to be good take our meds. Then when we are feeling well no problem when feeling like we can do it. But it is terrible when you feel like you cant. I have also had the red- green g is for green. It is awful. Tiring, and at some points you just want to cry.

I told my hubby about the 'kid in the candy store' thing. I asked him if I ever looked like that ( mind you, we were on the way to the ER because a cluster migraine came on, it hit like a thunder bolt).
He said when I am getting a Transform migraine that is what I look like. For me it happens in the evenings? (mostly, although he comes home in the evenings so he really would not know during the day....hhmmmm?) We will be watching something really funny and I slowly begin to stop and he said it is like I could just stare forever. He gets my attention right away, and I try to take something proactive to stop 'the storm' from hitting.

UUUUUUUUUUrrrrrrgggggggggg, I feel your pain. I am going to e-mail you a question on this because I am to embarassed to ask it in front of the entire Blog Community.

I am so happy I joined in with Blogging it makes me feel not so alone. Do you feel that same way?
We truly should have a once a year get together for migraineur's like ourselves.
Here is to a pain free day!

Migraine Chick said...

I've driven so many times with a migraine when I shouldn't have. Mostly, it's coming home sick from work and there is a lot of crying involved, too, which only makes things worse with the migraine!!

Thank you for the tip on the Febreeze!