Loyalty and the Monster

This is what you call pure loyalty. I have labled the pictures as "Stupid Loyalty 1 & 2" however.

The lifeless body under the dog, is me. This was taken by Cinderisa on Monday. She found us this way when she came home from school. There was no panic in her or the beast. Notice the look of discontent as he is rudely awaken by the flash. (pic on the right)

Mind you, this cuddlebug weighs 100 pounds of solid muscle. His head, if you'll notice, is much larger than mine.

He is NOT allowed on the furniture. He does this when Frank is not around. And when I am not feeling well; or rather, when the monster is gripping my skull the way it has been.

Shortly after she took these pictures, Frank walked in, and apparently, Rocco knew his nap time on Momma was over.

What is it about me that makes him feel he must be on me when I feel the monster coming? He has done this since he was a puppy. He used to howl at me, and climb on me, nuzzling. I wasn't really in the mood to play, which is what I thought he was doing. But then I finally realized that he wasn't playing; he was consoling, if you will. And he still does, in his own weird, super-size way.

I must emit an odor or some strange electrical charge that he picks up; because he whines and he cries; and he'll just put his extra large head on me, looking up at me with those big green eyes. At the moment, I'm not wanting to be bothered, I'm just laying there, trying to find silence and sleep and the place where there is that moment of no pain; just an instance of it. Searching, seeking, not to be found.

I drift somewhere between sleep and awake as I search, and that must be when he makes his opportunity to approach me; whether it be on the couch, or in my bed. He is very sneakey for such a big, dopey dog. I suppose he feels he must be my protector, my comforter. Maybe he can see the monster that I feel enveloping my head. Maybe he hears what I hear, something like this:

The current beast I'm being infused for is sitting on my shoulders; he has his left hand wrapped around the front of my face, and right ear with his pointed finger nail, like a long roofing nail, inside my right ear. He keeps trying to make his way from the right ear through my head and outside of the left ear. The sound of a distant freight train can be heard each time he pushes this deeper and deeper in my ear.

Then there's the spike he is forcing in the top of my head as he tries to crank it open; unsuccessfully, I might add. With each dull and slow thud of each blow, comes the pain. Deeper and deeper until it reaches my neck.

I feel the metal band around the top of the temporal area now, getting tighter and tighter. He must feel the need to crank it up a notch now. Tighter and tighter and tighter it gets. I can sometimes hear his evil snear. Just what possesses him to torture us in this way? Get off my back! I can't see anything now; I'm not sure if it's the band, or the spike, but something has taken my sight. Wait, here it comes, no, just flashes of blue, brilliant blue sparkles.

Can you see it? Wait, no, never mind, it's gone. I know I saw it. It was right there in front of me like a spark or a flash of blue. Do you see them? Do you hear them? I wonder, does my dog? Is that why he feels the need to be such a loyal companion when the monster is so intent on making it's mark on my life.

My son asked me once, "Mom, do you see green squiggles when you sneeze?"

Could that be a pre-cursor to aura for him? I sure hope not. But, at the same time, I'm afraid I already know the answer to that fateful question. Just as I know I can't hide Cinderisa in a tower to keep her safe forever from her headaches migrating to something worse; I won't be able to keep their own monster's at bay, any better than my own.

Well, on a "Lucky Dog" note for Rocco!! We got a call from Glenn lastnight; the breeder we bought Rockhead from. It seems that his girlfriend is FINALLY in heat (and the boys all cheer). Tonight we take him for his ride up North to get his. Yeehaw. And then, I call my Aunt, who will be, ahem, CHOPPING THOSE BAD BOYS OFF!! Because I'm tired of them. They are disgusting! In every huge way, shape, (literally) and green-dripping form. (yeah EEWW!)

FRANK - I love you, But I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER BIG, STUPID, OVER-SIZED, LARGE-HEADED, DROOLING, GREEN-DRIPPING, ALL-MUSCLED, DUMB, PEEING, POOING, WATERING ALL OVER THE PLACE, SO THAT I CAN'T HAVE ANY VEGS IN THE GARDEN DOG!!! SERIOUSLY, I REALLY DON'T!! I WILL TAKE ANOTHER SNAKE, KITTY CAT, OR EVEN A SPITTING LLAMA OVER ANOTHER DOG. I LOVE YOU. (even if he is consoling)

have a painfree weekend, all.

Deborah