The "N" Word

I received a heart-breaking call, no, actually, a heart broken call, from my step daughter lastnight. First, let me start by reminding those that may not know or remember; I have two wonderful step children who happen to be black and Italian. I love them like they are my own. She has a five-year old, Vanessa, who is just a trip and a half!! Can't say enough. Anyway, the call. She was crying, hysterically, her heart was just ripped in half. The father of her daughter, (not together), had made a racial comment. About her. He called her the "n" word. In front of Vanessa. Refusing to take it back, without apologizing. Stating he doesn't want her, the child, around, "those people."

Now, there is nothing, other than love her and Vanessa I can do. I would love to rip his tongue out of his throat. Not to mention, the very least of what her father wants to do at this very moment. But when all is said, which it has been, how am I supposed to act around him, LATER, when I have to? Right now, she doesn't want him around her until he apologizes. I don't blame her for that. She's absolutely right. But this will stick with all of us; mostly her. That hurt her hard. Hearing the pain in her voice lastnight was just awful. It was stinging.

So how does one go about continually overlooking the faults of those comments? This was the first time he's used THAT word. But his comments are not uncommon. His stupidity is not rare. His meanness, often unexpected. Like now.

What would you do? If this were your family? Really. Not in general, but real family, real life, flesh and blood. Put this in your daily life situation. Let it sink in somewhere. Put a word that fits in your vocabulary, one you prohibit, or dislike; allow it to fester under your skin. Use against a loved one, and tell me how to handle it. Because I know in my heart I'm to forgive him, and I must.... 70x7 and I know it was so cruel. I know judgement is not mine. Perhaps I just answered my own question.