What a weekend!

Well, I tried. I tried to make the arts fest, and I failed. I felt myself going down, and down I went. The tremors, or whatever they are - followed IMMEDIATELY afterward.

Got to the car, twitching started, head ramming and slamming. Maybe it is all just related to the migraine. I don't know. But in any case, it is geting much more frequent and intense.


Sunday, tried church - wasn't feeling so well when I got up. I just feel constantly nauseaus. All of the time lately. Pressure on the top of my head. We get there, I'm feeling a litle off my feet (funny) more like the the walls are moving around me; trying to grab at me, sort of. I find where Terri and Frank are siting. Trying desperately, so desperately to ignore what is happening inside me. The twitching and the pain, up my spine, in my head, making my left leg contort. And then, Im gone! And I don't know for how long I'm gone, because I do hear the music around me, but I can't see anything, I can hear, the nausea is so intense now, it grabs my insides like nothing before. Adn my head is just screaming with pain. I want to go to the hospital now. I WANT TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. I can't take it anymore. The jerking won't stop. I try to make it stop. I'm thinking, to myself, It's me, I'm making myself do this, but it won't stop. Adn the pain in my head is just so intense now.

Now I am in the car, and I really don't know how I got there. Funny. Bits and pieces of information escape me at this time. Whare is Terri. Frank is mad and frustrated that nothing is helping. I'm thinking he's mad at me, that I'm sick again. He cn't be! It's not my fault. I think he really is jus sick and tired of all of it. Like I am. Time is going so fast. We are at the Emergency Dep't. I am just jumping with these damn tremors. Why don't they stop? And what are they.? Is the Zonegran not working anymore? Maybe that's all it is. That wold be an easy fix right. But I'm getting more and more and more of these everyday. One on top of another. They seem to start at the base of my spine, above my buttocks, very painful. And the pain travels up my spine, and makes my whole body just shake. My left leg quivers insidelike jello. then it kicks hard. And my back will do the same up and down. sometimes I get migraine with it and sometmes not. Today, very hard. So I was treatd as a migraine.

The residents kknow me very well; thankfully, and don't treat me as a drug-seeking patient. I don't want drugs, I want answers. Please!! Answeres to why my body is now acting like it can't sit still. Could this REALLY be another dose of migraie disease?

Today, I am exhausted, and sick to my stomach. Jerking, and my head is pounding again. So I ask, my doctor, whom I respect very much, now what? Where do I go from here? This I can't live with. Could you? Please help me.