Monday, December 04, 2006

What a weekend!

Well, I tried. I tried to make the arts fest, and I failed. I felt myself going down, and down I went. The tremors, or whatever they are - followed IMMEDIATELY afterward.

Got to the car, twitching started, head ramming and slamming. Maybe it is all just related to the migraine. I don't know. But in any case, it is geting much more frequent and intense.

Sunday, tried church - wasn't feeling so well when I got up. I just feel constantly nauseaus. All of the time lately. Pressure on the top of my head. We get there, I'm feeling a litle off my feet (funny) more like the the walls are moving around me; trying to grab at me, sort of. I find where Terri and Frank are siting. Trying desperately, so desperately to ignore what is happening inside me. The twitching and the pain, up my spine, in my head, making my left leg contort. And then, Im gone! And I don't know for how long I'm gone, because I do hear the music around me, but I can't see anything, I can hear, the nausea is so intense now, it grabs my insides like nothing before. Adn my head is just screaming with pain. I want to go to the hospital now. I WANT TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. I can't take it anymore. The jerking won't stop. I try to make it stop. I'm thinking, to myself, It's me, I'm making myself do this, but it won't stop. Adn the pain in my head is just so intense now.

Now I am in the car, and I really don't know how I got there. Funny. Bits and pieces of information escape me at this time. Whare is Terri. Frank is mad and frustrated that nothing is helping. I'm thinking he's mad at me, that I'm sick again. He cn't be! It's not my fault. I think he really is jus sick and tired of all of it. Like I am. Time is going so fast. We are at the Emergency Dep't. I am just jumping with these damn tremors. Why don't they stop? And what are they.? Is the Zonegran not working anymore? Maybe that's all it is. That wold be an easy fix right. But I'm getting more and more and more of these everyday. One on top of another. They seem to start at the base of my spine, above my buttocks, very painful. And the pain travels up my spine, and makes my whole body just shake. My left leg quivers insidelike jello. then it kicks hard. And my back will do the same up and down. sometimes I get migraine with it and sometmes not. Today, very hard. So I was treatd as a migraine.

The residents kknow me very well; thankfully, and don't treat me as a drug-seeking patient. I don't want drugs, I want answers. Please!! Answeres to why my body is now acting like it can't sit still. Could this REALLY be another dose of migraie disease?

Today, I am exhausted, and sick to my stomach. Jerking, and my head is pounding again. So I ask, my doctor, whom I respect very much, now what? Where do I go from here? This I can't live with. Could you? Please help me.


Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry and can not imagine the frustration and pain you must be in. I know words dont help but am sending warm fuzzies. any news from the mri yet?

Shelley said...

Hi I am up late with a headache & doing more migraine research & found your blog. I too have daily migraines & have had for over a year now. My neurologist wants me to seek a second opinion to see if someone else can come up with something he has missed. He isn't trying to push me away he just wants to make sure everything that can be done for me is.
I am on all kinds of meds & still having migraines.
Your story is so familiar to me I just felt I had to post. My DH is a Pastor & lately I haven't even been able to be at church any way you know how it is.
I am trying to get my Christmas shopping done & I hate it. This disease has striped almost everything from me that I enjoy. To make matters worse we have 3 kids & my DH is possibly facing neck surgery. So if it weren't for the grace of God we wouldn't be making it right now.
I will save your page & check back. My Dr. wants me to go out of my state AR for treatment but that really isn't an option for us financially.

Hope to write again soon.

Neil said...

Hi Deborah

I feel your pain and would like to suggest meditation. Now I know what most people's thoughts are when this word is mentioned i.e.some monk sitting in the lotus position reciting Ohhmmmmmm! But please find a group close to you and give it a go or learn the basics from the net. Either way I know this helps. Take care.

Help With Migraines