Hmmmmmm, Do I have a headache???

Well, I've made it into Thursday, No OR, thank you very much. Alas, the migraines, they never fail to leave my side, or my top, at the very least. They are forever present. And I'm constantly asked how I'm feeling, if I have a headache. YES!!! Hard to grasp, I know, trust me, really, I do know, but it's true, so unfortunately stinking true - but yes, it is daily there. Not just once in a blue-moon daily, but the everyday kind of DAILY. I'm not so sure why people don't understand that concept. Let me sum it up this way - did you wake up with your nose on your face this morning? Can you see it there in the mirror? There it is. Now go to bed, sleep, maybe it won't be there tomorrow. Now, wake up, is it still there? Of course it is!!!! There is NO difference really. Well, maybe a little difference. You see, I can see your nose. You can see your nose; and perhaps it really causes you no chronic pain most days, right? OK. Yes, I am a sarcastic b*tch, but there is a point that I need to make here. Alright, when you have that nagging sinus infection or cold virus that goes around, we all comiserate with you; your nose certainly suffers. I will only use Puffs Plus for that occassion; HOWEVER, this is not that time. Today, your nose is on your FACE! You woke up with it, chances are, tomorrow you will wake up with it, and so on and so forth. Here is the difference, minus the mood, for those of us who suffer in silence (or not) with chronic pain, most of it is just this . Exactly! Invisible. YOU can't see my pain. I can't see my pain. My doctor can't see my pain. I can, however; see it before it comes - in the most beautiful vibrant of colors. I can hear it in the sounds it makes; the piercing, whirling sounds just before it touches the inside of my skull. I can even taste it. And it does so much more before the pain actually gets me all at once. It is just so stimulating! This is not excitement I'm giving you, merely an explanation of things to come, just before the crash. There is the tingle that starts on my tongue, like a numbing. And the metal taste. The dizzy feeling that comes on. But always, always, always there is pain; yes, I have a headache. Baseline everyday. Please don't keep asking, for it is ever present. Just like your nose. Sometimes it gets worse, most times, yes I guess it does. And I find myself appologizing to everyone around me. Again. Because I must turn you down, or let you down. And again I'm stuck with the guilt of that. Again. And again. And again. Please stop adding to my guilt. Really, it's unnecessary. I know that you, too suffer for me. But in reality - I am the ONE who is living with this hideous ugly pain CONSTANTLY. If you love someone who has Migraines, and is currently experiencing one, be very curteous in this way; be QUIET! You really have NO idea how painful sound is when nerves inside your skull are exposed to the extremety of our pain threshold. You don't. If you have ever had your most painful experience, EVER, magnify it, again, and again and again and again and then bang your head against the wall a few times, while shining a flashlight, a Mag-style (police) flashlight in your eyes. Play some loud bass at the same time. Swallow mustard and water. Now spin and try holding that down. This will make you want to vomit, it gives you the effect of severe nausea. Keep banging your head, you have no aura with this migraine, and yours is being brought on by YOU. Imagine that. Please don't ever say something like, "Are you trying to give yourself a headache?!" Even joking, because that's so not funny to someone who usually doesn't go a few days without. For the next few days, lay off foods you used to love - they will trigger your next Migraine. Check out the lists on the sites listed at the left, I'm sure you'll be hungry, but whatever. Maybe you'll be headache free. At least I won't ask you if you have a headache! If a guy loses his leg from a car accident, goes to rehab and learns how to use a prosthesis and walk again - do we later ask him this question: "Hey, is your leg still gone?" Of course not! Sounds stupid right. Duh. And, so a person with, say Diabetes probably isn't asked these questions on a daily basis; "Are you still Diabetic?" "Still taking Insulin for that Diabetes?" I remember when I was pregnant for my children, some ignoramouses were actually stupid enough to actually ask me this, "You still carrying that baby?" Me, being the sarcastic kind of person I am, always had a smart answer right away, "Nope, I'm carrying someone else's baby this time!" Or, "I thought I'd try hump-back whale this trimester!" Whoda thunk? So my answer to you is this; "I no longer have headaches! I have been cured! It's amazing really, I just thought one day, I think I'll just read some Dr. Seuss, think happy thoughts and cure myself. And now I'm all better. I gve all of my medicine to my kids to sell at school; and boy did they make a great profit! We're going to Disney!! It sure is good to be well!" Ok that's not true. But wouldn't that be fun. Well, not the part about the kids selling the drugs. So, I'm moody this week, with a freaking migraine - what's new? I'm sick of looking at a messy house wondering when I'm going to have the energy to clean it! Or better yet, IF I'll ever have any energy. And is it really important, really? Probably not, but to me, it is. There is that compulsive side of me that get let it go, that won't let it go. Ok, time for tea and a blanket. hope you all have a pain-free day. Thanks for letting me rant.