Friday, July 28, 2006

Family Matters; Doesn't It?????

Yesterday, I spent the day here with my baby sister and her two kids, Alyssa and Aiden. Yeah, the "homework" girl. Had fun with that yesterday -quoted the wicked step-mother routine to Cinderisa, "Did you finish the kitchen? Sweep the floors? Clean the chimney? Dust the walls? Vacuum the rugs? Clean the toilets? Sweep out the garage???" To which she hung her head, quite defeated-like (far Alyssa's sake) and replied, "yes, Mother." Alyssa was just looking at her Mom with this terrified look, and shot me a glance!! It was hysterical. I replied to Cinderisa, "you may now take the children to the park." She has my warped sense of humor, which plays so well when we have company.

I have a bad habit of keeping things like fake vomit, feces, flies and spiders for my guests to "find" in their food and on the floor when I have parties. Yes, I am a bit twisted. I've been known to take them with me and "spike" drinks with them as well. Usually my own, and pretend not to notice as I sip away, wondering if any horrified on-lookers will be kind enough to tell me. "Excuse me, but there is a fly in your drink!!"

I had this pile of poop for years and I strategically placed it for my former Mother-in-law to find on Christmas Day in the d'room. Okay, this is totally sick, and I'm cracking up thinking of it!! She was kind of wacky and easy to get. So she walks almost 'into' it and, literally, screams "CARMEN!! (my ex's name) CARMEN! THE DOG SHIT! OH NO, OH NO!!" She was very excitable. He just shot me a look, because he was not the practical joking type; and I said, "that's ok, Mom, I'll get it!" She is just standing there, watching as I bent over to pick it up, BARE HANDED, as to scoop it. Mind you, she is believing it's real poo-poo. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! CARMEN!!" By now, he is hysterical, I'm on the floor, rolling in the stuff, pick it up and hand it to her. she then asked me, "what is WRONG with you?" But we all had a great laugh. She was a lot of fun.
I got her the Thanksgiving before that with a fly on a banana cream pie she brought. I snuck it in, right on top before we opened it. So when the time came, after dinner was eaten and dishes were done. The pies came out. The pretty white boxes with their strings (reattatched) tied on. Plates, forks, knives, coffee (fly). I open the boxes, one-by-one, leaving of course, the best for last; which is the way to do things. The "OOOhhhhs and AAAAAhhhhhs" as each pie was examined exiting it's box. The excitement of it all! Now came THE pie, I made sure the flap of the box was facing everyone, so as not to see the evidence, and slowly lifted it out, set it on the table, pretending not to see it sitting right on top. My sister-in-law, Lisa flew her chair back about 8feet as, simutaneously my Mother-in-law is standing and screaming, "OH MY GOD, NO NO!! OH MY GOD! WHAT IS IT??? WHAT IS IT??? " Carmen was laughing his head off. What a day that was.

I miss those days, I miss her. She drove me absolutely crazy at times, but she never left us without saying, " I love you." Even if we were in a heated battle, which we often were, the "I love you's" were always plentiful. She had a rough childhood, which made her adulthood very tough. Unfortunately, made my ex-husband's and his sisters lives even tougher. But they grew into decent, hard-working adults; who never allowed the anguish to take over them. It's too bad society allows, in some situations, the stigma or stereotyping, that it does. I know, I lived with it. I do not allow it in my home - neither the stereotyping nor the prejudice. I'm not going to go all boo ha ha about it, but it's wrong.

My little blonde asked me one day if it was ok if she married a black man. To which I honestly answered, "As long as he loves you, unconditionally, treats you like a queen, and respects you above all other women, and puts you before himself - I don't care if he's blue with 6 eyeballs and a tail. Black, yellow, red; the color of his skin does not matter." Now, my father, would disagree, and probably refuse to be there, and well, that's his perogative. To be honest, he won't be welcome if that is to be his attitude, or anyone's attitude for that matter.

Carmen and I were both raised in prejudice homes, neither liking nor tolerating it. I could never understand it, still don't. We both agreed we'd not raise the kids in this manner. And as it stands, he has since remarried, a wonderful Filipino woman. She is great with my kids, and they adore her. I have learned some interesting words in her language via the kids. She is adorable. She thinks my dog is ugly, but hey, she loves my kids, so what do I care!! I think he has great taste in wives. (insert sarcasm)

So back to my baby sister, she is now 28. Will probably always be considered my baby sister to me. She, too is adorable. All 98 pounds of her 4 foot 10 frame. Yeah, we're giants, our family! Just larger than life. I have height on her, a whopping 2 inches. Both, well almost all 3 of my daughters are now taller than me, Christina is the only one I actually see eye-to-eye; she just turned 11.

Jamie and her husband are buying their first home!!!! I'm hearing the typical New Year celebratory horns here, complete with streamers and balloons, but that's just me!!! She tlells me of this little story of how she asked my father to read the purchase offer for her, just to make sure things were on the up-and-up. To which he replied; "I want NO part of this!" Wouldn't listen to a description of the place - nothing. Just reprimanded her on how it was out of her league! I'm thinking, are you so insensitive(duh) that you can't ever be happy for one of your kids? We had a great lengthy conversation of sorts afterward. She gave me a grand imaginary tour of the home and the yard, and I absolutely can't wait to see it. I also can't wait to see them move in. And more than anything else, I can't wait to see them SUCCEED!

This is something I have been hoping and praying for her for a long long time. This girl, now a woman, has been through it. She deserves her just reward and damn it, she deserved a compliment from her father. but he isn't the type to give one, not to her, not to me.

It's a cruel world. It should never be a cruel home where family dwells. I read my Bible, yeah I really do. And it tells me to "respect my father and mother," which I do. It's not easy, but I do respect them. However, sadly, I do not like them. They are untouchable people. Unapproachable and very cold. Sadly my children have lived without knowing Grandparents in them, like I had in my own. But my children have true family values, thankfully. They know who loves them, they know how to love, without materialistic value.

No, we have no video games in our home. No Play Station, XBox, Genesis. And as far as the TV goes, they actually like the wholesome stuff like 7th Heaven, and Gilmoure Girls, Family Matters, Cosby. I wish we could get the Glamorama to put wholesome things back on the tube. Rather than the smut they push on these kids.

When we took them shoppping for summer shorts this year, they were horrified that we refused to buy anything shorter than "bermuda" style! How dare we. Come to find out, they actually like and preferred them, and would stare and make remarks at young girls to us, who were wearing the exact styles we WERE PROTESTING IN THE FIRST PLACE! HHmmmmmm......

ok, I'm done rambling. I need to go shop for tomorrow's "Giggle Fest" Tonight we are having multiple sleepover. All blondes - God help me!

I hope all a pain-free weekend


No comments: