weathering migraine storms: Sensory OVeRlOaD

Let me just start with Saturday. I was startled awake at 4:30am by the monster, who grabbed the right side of my head like a mad dog and shook and tried desperately to drag it off my shoulders. Unsucessfully. Then the ice picks landed deep inside behind my eye. I knew it wasn't going well.

I had a party to attend with Nicholas. at Build-a-Bear. at the mall. later in the day. ugh.

But before that, it was drumline practice; because what migraine Mom doesn't want to hear the sound of banging drums and cymbals before the day is out???? In preparation for a winter parade. Yes, a freezing cold, and blowing zero wind-chill factor parade. I actually do enjoy drumline, I just hate migraine; the two do NOT mix well. Sort of like oil and water. So while my girls were practicing "Jingle Bells" with their percussion instruments and the rest of the band, I was covering my ears and trying to play along. "Oh what fun it is to ride.......with a migraine in your head -- HEY!"

From there it was off to the Dollar Store, which in itself is a disorganized nightmare in the neuro making for me anyway. The chaos of unorganization of the place is just too surreal for me to deal with on a good day; but to be there on a day like Saturday, too much for me to deal with. We were only there for Santa hats - they needed them for the parade. Santa hats turned into cute Santa outfits and antlers for the dogs, and toys and oh,"Mom can I have this...........?"

"Enough, let's just get the hats and get out of here NOW!" I shot out.

Oh so conveniently located, directly next door was the puppy mill, major pet store not to be named here. Oh, yes we HAD to go in. They had THE cutest little pink houndstooth jacket with white faux fur I ever saw for little new puppy. at the insane price of $30. As if! I did pick it up and put it back probably oh 3 or 4 times. Showed it to another lady, who also loved it. I'm crazy that way. Talking to people I don't know and telling my kids not to. Oh where was I going with this????? oh I remember, the overload! colors and sounds in this store - wow, they have too much! Aaaaah, but it's organized, spilling over perhaps, but in it's place. Color coordinated leashes and collars, bed pillows for puppies, kitties, dogs; chew toys, biscuits swings for birdies fishies hamsters gerbils boxers bulldogs pinschers brushes crates cookies crickets snakes STROLLERS would you dare buy one????? for a freaking DOG!!!

(look, dog inside)

My mind was just screaming things out as I looked around. My crazy migraine mind doesn't just process as my eyes scan. Oh no no no ! that would be so nice and relaxing and easy peasy. Mine must yell to me things that are there, and tell me what is going on; "dog pee in kennel 2, boxer did a poo-poo, old lady with cheap perfume and way too much, that little girl didn't use shampoo in a few days; look out for that man, he doesn't use pit stick. oh and that teen boy, he is just coming into PUBERTY, watch out for the bean and bacon scent on him, ooooh, dog food with too much gravy and beefy too. can you smell those mice? yuk? ew ew ew birdy poo-look out! fish water fish water fish water!

I was gagging and running for the door; by the time my feet reached the sidewalk, I was deep-breathing - pulling in as much fresh air as I could get. I could hardly wait to get to 5 pm, for the mall.

oh goody

It amazes me how much the scent of poison, I mean perfume is worn and sprayed, and spewed about at the mall, in department stores and on people in general. I held my scarf around my nose as I walked the mall, wishing I could break my boys heart and just go home. I thought it was just me, but Christina was with me, and she, too was shocked by the inensity of it. We couldn't ecape it. anywhere.

Normally, this would have been a great time for me to do some extra shopping, and for the two of us to have some fun; but it was just too much. And for what is an "economic crisis" we are in, the mall was so crowded, every store, aisle, hallway, no matter where we turned, we bumped into or stepped onto someone because of the over-crowding. I just wanted OUT!!

My brain was screaming! My body was jumping and bursting with the most insane energy. I knew I had had enough. I wondered how I would be able to drive my kids home. I could barely think clearly; as now while writing this. I know my days are numbered until infusion.

I ended up leaving with him before the cake was served, barely getting through the crowd; and mostly just pushing my way through people, rudely that wouldn't move fast enough. Scarf covering my nose, hand on my stomach, hoping not to puke everywhere. Running, hoping they could keep up with me, and that I wouldn't lose them. Looking back for them, and looking ahead at the same time.

"Come ON! Hurry, I need to get out of here!" I said, frantically.

Deeply sucking in the fresh, cold air again as I reached the sidewalk - breathe, breathe, breathe!! homehomehomehomehome.

Sunday, oh Sunday. Another crappy and cold migraine day. What IS it with this weather changing rapidly like it is? I mean, the winter is one thing; the intensity of frigid arctic cold front blowing in, that is something I'm not liking so much. Not to mention the snow coming down with it, rather blowing sideways with it. I hate the cold.

I ended up driving in the parade in the event any of the kids fell out from the weather. Amazingly, they all marched in it, kids are soooo resilient that way. As for me, I'm ready for a long winters nap. Considering it's only 12 degrees outside, that is NOT a typo, it's a great night for a fire! I think I'll start one right now!