Once Again. I feel it, as it grips my skull
Raging through me, bit by bit.
Mangled shreds of memory and pain.
Each piece a tattered loss of forgotten past.
No way to escape the pain, or
To lessen the sound of it's fury; no there's never an
End to it, only a brief moment of silence until the next time;
Deceived again by Migraine, The Tormentor
Please forgive the gory skull. I retrieve my pictures from Photobucket, and boy does this one give a great description of what the device chamber represents, in my mind anyway.
Yesterday I woke with yet another monster, followed by the ice pick, over and over again. That's ok, on Monday I will go in for my cryo blasting. This time - I will be so lucky to get it on not one, but BOTH sides. I am so thrilled. And, literally, I am thrilled.
Let me just go thru a few of the places and things I've missed due to the latest monster; I signed up for a new Beth Moore Bible study at church, and was only able to make one of the last three, THREE, studies. due to the monster in my head.
I missed my little guys Open House for Second grade. But I did get to go to his back-to-school barbecue lastnight. And I took the monster with me.
I have missed the last three sessions of Hope's Ambassadors with Lexi. A song and dance for the Special Needs kids. I hate the monster.
I missed my dental cleaning. ugh, that's a real downer.
A fun get-together with the girls at church. that includes desserts. Hey, we are Southern Baptists. did I mention the desserts?? I have missed too many to mention.
It has been two weeks, I think since I've posted here. and why???? riiiiiiight, the monster. It never really goes away, totally, it hides, so to speak; sneaks up when I have plans. Dare I make them. Oh, I almost forgot that one!!!! We made plans with my Bro and Sister-in-law to hit wine country a few weekends ago; couldn't go. Yeah, yeah poor me.
I realize there are so many who have it so far worse, I really do; I sympathize, empathize, and pray that the pain and situation is different for them. Right now, my former FIL is lying in a hospital very ill; and I pray for him with my children that he gets well. I truly do pray he gets well; it's a sticky situation that one. The "ex" factor. His parents are ill, I feel for him with that and them. His wife is a controlling freak, who has no respect for him or my children; and yet, demands it from them, oh and me. Like that is going to happen. I really feel for him. We had a shakey marriage, it ended badly, but I don't believe he deserves her disrespect and controlling ways. I don't agree with the way she treats my children and him, so what do you do in this situation? Nothing, in my place. I just sit back, idle, and pray. Literally.
So anyway, that's that. I have another freaking monster in my head - nothing new there. I'm alive and well other than that. My dog is still ugly. My kids are absolutely wonderful. My husband is bored out of his ever-loving mind being retired and going mad watching the changes going on in the auto industry. He is wonderful, especially when I am ill. I don't know what I would do without him. We have a fabulous Saviour who blesses us in way too many ways to count. And yet, I complain.
Oh, our Philip will be coming home soon. Like next month. He is well, exhausted from being in the middle of Afghanistan. I can't wait to see him, to cook for him and wait on him hand and foot. He is going on a well-dserved cruise to the Carribean. He needs it. Please don't forget to continue to pray for our military heroes; they need it desperately. more than you even know.
Praying you are pain-free
Friday, September 26, 2008