Friday, September 26, 2008

The Tormentor

Once Again. I feel it, as it grips my skull
Raging through me, bit by bit.
Mangled shreds of memory and pain.
Each piece a tattered loss of forgotten past.
No way to escape the pain, or
To lessen the sound of it's fury; no there's never an
End to it, only a brief moment of silence until the next time;
Deceived again by Migraine, The Tormentor

Please forgive the gory skull. I retrieve my pictures from Photobucket, and boy does this one give a great description of what the device chamber represents, in my mind anyway.

Yesterday I woke with yet another monster, followed by the ice pick, over and over again. That's ok, on Monday I will go in for my cryo blasting. This time - I will be so lucky to get it on not one, but BOTH sides. I am so thrilled. And, literally, I am thrilled.

Let me just go thru a few of the places and things I've missed due to the latest monster; I signed up for a new Beth Moore Bible study at church, and was only able to make one of the last three, THREE, studies. due to the monster in my head.

I missed my little guys Open House for Second grade. But I did get to go to his back-to-school barbecue lastnight. And I took the monster with me.

I have missed the last three sessions of Hope's Ambassadors with Lexi. A song and dance for the Special Needs kids. I hate the monster.

I missed my dental cleaning. ugh, that's a real downer.

A fun get-together with the girls at church. that includes desserts. Hey, we are Southern Baptists. did I mention the desserts?? I have missed too many to mention.

It has been two weeks, I think since I've posted here. and why???? riiiiiiight, the monster. It never really goes away, totally, it hides, so to speak; sneaks up when I have plans. Dare I make them. Oh, I almost forgot that one!!!! We made plans with my Bro and Sister-in-law to hit wine country a few weekends ago; couldn't go. Yeah, yeah poor me.

I realize there are so many who have it so far worse, I really do; I sympathize, empathize, and pray that the pain and situation is different for them. Right now, my former FIL is lying in a hospital very ill; and I pray for him with my children that he gets well. I truly do pray he gets well; it's a sticky situation that one. The "ex" factor. His parents are ill, I feel for him with that and them. His wife is a controlling freak, who has no respect for him or my children; and yet, demands it from them, oh and me. Like that is going to happen. I really feel for him. We had a shakey marriage, it ended badly, but I don't believe he deserves her disrespect and controlling ways. I don't agree with the way she treats my children and him, so what do you do in this situation? Nothing, in my place. I just sit back, idle, and pray. Literally.

So anyway, that's that. I have another freaking monster in my head - nothing new there. I'm alive and well other than that. My dog is still ugly. My kids are absolutely wonderful. My husband is bored out of his ever-loving mind being retired and going mad watching the changes going on in the auto industry. He is wonderful, especially when I am ill. I don't know what I would do without him. We have a fabulous Saviour who blesses us in way too many ways to count. And yet, I complain.

Oh, our Philip will be coming home soon. Like next month. He is well, exhausted from being in the middle of Afghanistan. I can't wait to see him, to cook for him and wait on him hand and foot. He is going on a well-dserved cruise to the Carribean. He needs it. Please don't forget to continue to pray for our military heroes; they need it desperately. more than you even know.

Praying you are pain-free


Migraine Chick said...

The Migraine Monster is stomping on my head today. I think he looks a lot like your skull pic!

Lavinia said...

Hi Deborah, thanks for visiting my site. My utmost sympathy to you for your untold suffering from migraine. My understanding (quite limited) is that there is lots of active research going on into treatment for this totally debilitating condition. My hope for you is that treatment and cure will one day put the migraine monster to bed for good.