Sunday, May 27, 2007

The Pretty Little Migraine

The pretty things that migraines are made of: they usually start with little specs and sparkles;Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket remember, you're not sure if you see that distant light. You know you don't want to see it; and as sure and as fast as it appeared, it is just as quickly gone. With eyes closed, you search for it.





With modern technology, being what it is, I used Photbucket, and these are the prettiest pictures I've come up with, and the closest to my own aura to show you, my internet blog friends just what it is to live a moment in my migraine. No two are alike. And for those that experience them - WARNING! SOME ANIMATIONS DO AGRIVATE MIGRAINE!








Once the spark and/or spec, or little light has had it's fun and games with it's disappearing act, it has now decided to bounce around just a little and add some color and sound. I have no sound effects.




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Now this little gem usually only comes in red and a muted grayish yellow. And is always and I mean, ALWAYS, followed by nausea. (like now, if I look at it, it's making me real queazy.) There is also the sound of a screaching, distant brake, not like anything I've ever really heard before. It comes on the right side, pierces my ear - to the effected side, of course - and is followed immediately with the most intense and excrutiating blow to back of my neck, which then is followed by a force trying to work it's way from the back of my head and out of my eye. And at no great speed, I might add. It is all in a very slow and agonizing motion.



At the moment, my shoulder blades seem to be trying to touch each other and in unison, are trying to become one and grow into , oh I don't know, my eyebrows maybe. The tension that has been building from lack of sleep, cryoanalgesia (pleaseohpleaseohpleasework!!!), everyfreakingday stresses (not even going there), and just plain tired of feeling like this day after day after freaking day.



No, don't get me wrong, I do have good days. And I do thank my Lord for them. But I hate dreadfully the bad days. Oh, here's a great picture!
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The spike in the lower part of the picture; that is the one that drills the top of my head on an almost daily basis! Yes, that is the one. Slowly, and steadily it is pounded and pounded into the top of my head. And I cannot touch it, for it brings more pain to touch. Just leave it alone.



This morning when I got out of bed, there was darkness on my right side, followed by the numbing; in my mouth and down my arm. The sparkles and the spirals were there all night, along with the tension and the blows to the back of the head. I do believe that it may take some time for the procedure I had done on Thursday to work it's magic. Hey, if not, ther's always the infusion center.



In reality, I am tired of filling my body with drugs. I resent the idea that I must depend on so many of them to get through the day, to ward off just a little more pain. And sometimes, most times, it does me no good.



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This is what today is looking like. It's sure looks pretty, doesn't it? As long as you don't suffer the fate of Migraine it does. But if you stop and stare long enough, or better yet, if you just take a quick peak, if you're one of me, it quickly sickens the stomach and brings on the pain. The numbing and tingling. The distant stare begins. I wonder if the person who made these pictures suffers like I.

3 comments:

Migraine Chick said...

My visual aura are so boring compared to yours. All I see are these little black squiggles, almost like a jig jag thread that float across my vision. The stabby thing on the top of my head feels more like a sharp knife though than a spike.

Harmonica Man said...

A very close friend of ours just attempted to drive up from Texas for her daughter's wedding, but she had such a bad migraine she had to stop - for 2 days! And ended up missing the ceremony.

I feel for all of you.

Lisa Milton said...

That is a great way of explaining aura to the non-believing lucky folks.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Hope you get some relief soon.