Monday, May 07, 2007

A Chronic Blankey

If you suffer from chronic pain, or any chronic illness; and throw in a little wrench to your day - like say bronchitis; it makes things........interesting. If you add in oh, let's say um, the flu for instance, now we're talking vacation. A week, maybe two, if you're lucky - all to yourself - on the couch, then the bed, then the couch.

Of course, neither is comfortable, what with all of the body aches, the chills, did I mention the spinal pain?? I don't ever recall having pain running the length of my spine before like that. I didn't know I even had a spine really, but it's quite lengthy for someone of my stature (five feet) short. And the muscles that seem to unfold and wrap themselves around me; I felt everyone of them. For five straight days!

Now, for those of you who don't suffer with migraines; I know what you're thinking! "Duh, take Ibuprofen, dummy!" The thing is, I really can't. Well, I can't take too much due to something called rebound headache; which for me, is quite terrifying. And I've been there. However, after day three of absolutely NO relief from my heated cornbag, I caved. I took three - and they worked! It was like taking Morphine that one time in the hospital for my migraine. An instant of relief. Aahhhhhhhhhh!!!! But it came back. Naturally.

Guess who else came back! The storm. The dark and terrible storm of migraine has reared it's ugly head, and refuses to leave.

That is just par for being chronic. It comes on quick, it triggers the monster, and it's slow to leave. Whatever "IT" is.

I have been a mumbling fool the past 2 weeks. That is, when I can stay awake. I can't concentrate to make a sentace. I don't feel like I make sense. Simple things are seeming very difficult.

And it starts with that little itty blue pen dot of a lihgt. You're not sure if you see it at first, you know you do, deep down. But it's only there for a split second before it's gone. You wait to see it again, looking, searching, but you don't see it appear. Then you hear it, searing out of the distance, to the right. And it pierces the inside of your ear like the tine of a fork; sharp and jagged, cold. Louder and louder as it pierces. As it digs deeper, you feel the force of another object in the top of your head, like a railroad spike hammering in; 'BANG! BANG! BANG!' Topped off by the blow to the back of the skull that vibrates for the remainder of the day. No more light. No more sound. Your stomach is now reeling. The monster is back. You've been wrapped again in your chronic blankey. Migraine.


Angel said...

Oh hon, I definitely sympathize!!!

This is the absolute worst I've felt in my life, and that's saying alot after 12 years of CFS and FMS.

The weird thing? no headaches for 2 straight days and only a mild one today. Grateful, but weird.

Emily said...

yuck. i'm so sorry you've been sick. that just makes it all worse, doesn't it. :( feel better soon!

Harmonica Man said...

Ouch! Hope your storm has passed by now.

deborah said...

Thank you all. Getting there; slow, very. slow, but sure.

Migraine Chick said...

I like how you said "the monster is back." I feel like my migraines are monsters all the time.

Hope you're feeling better.