Friday, April 06, 2007

When a Friend Dies

Tuesday, at the age of 49, a very dear of mine died. At the age of 49!! What do you say, rather what am I supposed to say to his wife and his boys? I was at a complete loss lastnight when I was with them. A loss for words. They, on the other hand, are at a different feeling or place of loss. They have lost husband, father, best friend, soul mate, lover, teacher, consoler.

How can I ever say or do enough to ever console any one of them in any way? He was so young. I look in the faces of his boys and I see him. Yesterday, she didn't know how she would get through today - the wake. And, no doubt, it will be hard. She is a very strong woman, much stronger than she knows or believes.

49! I guess I'm still not over the shock. And when I have to face him later today, it is going to hit me. I'm not even sure what will hit me. My mortality. My children's. Franks. It's funny how death puts life into perspective.

I can't stop thinking of her. I just want to hold her and tell her it will be ok; but I don't know for sure if it will be. I do know, she will be ok. Her boys lover her very much. The four of them, together, will get through this.


Emily said...

that's horrible. i'm so sorry. i'm sure you'll all survive, although it may seem impossible at times. :(

Jackie said...

The only thing to say in those situations is,

"I'm so sorry"

Don't try to understand, because you never will, just let them know you are sorry for their loss, and you are there as needed.

The biggest thing is to just "be" there.

And with that, I will say, I'm very sorry for your loss in this friend. I will be thinking of you in the days and weeks to come.