Pretty Colors, no?

don't you love the color! not too far off base, you know. what color are you? and if it wasn't for the fuzzy pink robe (which, by the way, this is how sad life has become) I. actually. have. one. OH, and I love it! It's warm and cozy and wonderful and why oh why didn't I get it sooner?????

So let's get rid of this color, shall we; for the past ummmmm oh I can't recall now, maybe three nights I have been - awake. that's it. no sleep. no rest. just awake. this is not a good thing when you have the monster lurking around every corner ready to pounce on your skull. with knife and sledge hammer yielding, I might add. because he is always good for that.

I haven't had any problem what so freaking EVER falling asleep on the couch, watching absolutely nothing on TV. every. night. did I mention watching absolutely nothing because there is absolutely nothing nothing nothing on. no good repeats, no good-looking anybody - nothing. lastnight, it was ufo's. because, well marisasawoneafewweeksagoandwedidn'treallymentionitforobviousreasonsthatiwon'tgointo.

yeah!

then there was the shopping episode with the litte princess of drama who is just like me and hates to shop. now THAT was fun! where is that migraine when I need one, right?

everyday for a month it was, (oh, include ear-to-ear, seriously, smile) "ARE WE GOING SHOPPING TODAY???" and add it in high speed, because she only speaks in high speed. Frank calls her "Ba dop ba da" - mostly because he doesn't understand her "language" when she is talking.

well, our day to shop was on Monday. mind you, no sleep the previous night for me. add in the little precursor -my lack of appreciation for shopping and hers as well. off we went. It really didn't start out so bad, we had the entire mall out in front of us, neither wanting to venture into it.

We entered Macy's, knowing that we've had pretty good luck in the past. To the jeans we go. Ok, it's been a long time for me, you know shopping for jeans. I'm the kind of person - the parental type I suppose - that would rather buy for them, than myself. I prefer a bad of hand-me-downs over having to go shopping ANY day. (call it lazy! if you must) I truly ABHOR shopping. for clothes, that is. Take me to the grocery, and I'm all for it! fashion, forget it. I could care less.

Unfortunately, looking at my wardrobe, it's showing. Oh, and the mouths of the teen and tween, (like I care), that I allow to live under the roof, they're telling me my clothes are, well, 'old.' eeww. So what's a Mom to do?

She totally dragged me into this. While she was shopping for herself, she was secretly shopping for the dreaded drag teen that I had become, apparently. Hey, that's what I've become; I know, it's shocking. The hand-me-downs have come from, well, Philip's friends. Who were mostly girls. Teen girls. (yes, I'm smallish) Oh, and the girl's friends. So, basically, I have lots of stylish LEI and brand name teeny-bopping jeans. go girl stuff. Like I said - I'm a drag teen. It's not so stylish at 40 .......ish.

She says to me, "Really Mom, you never buy yourself anything, you should really buy yourself some jeans. You need them." and she did emphasize the 'really.'

I must say, it's been ages for me, because when did jeans start costing $100.00? I'm not kidding! I dragged her from department to department, in search of the perfect jeans, that did NOT cost more than $30. I knew they existed. She knows I'm cheap savvy. Finally, we found them; now all we had left to do was try it all on.

Into the dressing room we go. That's when I discovered some real truths about my body that I was really ok with NOT knowing. It was there in the dressing room of Macy's that I discovered how much I hate three-way mirrors. and why are they really necessary? why? Why do I need to see my back side?

Here's a question I really need answered: when did my breasts go from a beautiful size C, to SEE YA!!!!?? And why was I uncomfortable with them when they were? Isn't if funny how we women are never really satisfied with our bodies. and then when we see the youth and fullness vanishing away, like I did on Saturday, it's a real wake-up call to the senses.

I was looking at myself, oh, in horror; and it was like watching the new "Jell-O" commercial. you know, where they're all distorted because they're eating it and dancing to the song. YEP, that's the one. 'wiggle while you jiggle' - boy do I!!

I need to walk my big ugly dog or something! but not today, I'm too tired from not sleeping and my head is pounding. again. oh bother. It seems like it's an endless uphill battle of struggle, struggle, struggle. I struggle to get through the next migraine. the next pile of laundry. the next whatever. to get to what exactly?? what a vicious cycle.

but hey, I got two new pair of jeans that look great, for under $100; and shirts. Not to mention, my little drama girly got some new stuff. Now, if only I can wear them all summer! Oh, and I didn't have to take her to her favorite places either; Hollister and Aero. whatever!!

sure hope you're jiggle-free today

deborah