Wednesday, June 28, 2006

National OCD Day!!!!!!!

Ok, so maybe there isn't such a day, really. But today, for me, it is. As I sat in my morning ritual; coffee in hand, GMA on the tube, (Charlie's last day), cats and dummy nearby, I was reading my morning paper. This is how I start everyday. It's ritualistic, I know. It's a must. Everything was going well; typical bs, crime, politics, same old crap, different day stuff. Ah, some new recipees to try. And BAM!! "National Hand-freaking(so I added that) Shake Day!" Now, tell me - because I am asking - WHY DO WE NEED SUCH A THING???? I read their vague stupid descriptions of each "type" of handshake from the "macho cowboy" being the bone-cruncher to the "dead fish" need I explain. The "sweaty palm" had me running for, not only my nearest bottle of Purell, but my Zofran. I'm saying to myself, for all the folks out there just like me, if this is a national day, as stated, we with issues should HAVE IT OFF, for fear of the unknown!! Unfortunately for me, I'm off permanently right now. If not, that alone would have sent me over the edge. Hey, don't do it folks. I'm not a prude, by nature - and I do shake hands on occassion; I just really really don't like, nor do I want to. So I avoid it like the plague.

When my husband introduces me to someone, who puts their hand out, and I blankly stare and, I must have a complete look of disgust or something of the like on my face, he'll very kindly tell them, with a laugh, "she's afraid to shake your hand. Bird flu thing." Hey, you just never know!! When we go to a picnic, like his company clambake, I just keep both hands full. simple. Can't shake with no hand. And that is what I say, too. Frank will just look at me and laugh. I just smile and say, "duh, germs! did he wash after the bathroom? how do we know?!'' To which he just agrees with a smile.

So for me, it's National OCD Day! Sorry, I can't shake your hand, I have issues. Even my kids tell me I have issues. "That's right!" I say, head held high. And in a sad, sort of safe, way - I am teaching them to grow up with issues.

I forgot one very important thing in my last post about potty procedures: when you need to wipe, get t'paper, rip off at least the first foot, then get clean piece, then wipe. I never use the hanging piece - germs jumped on. GET RID OF IT!!!

I taught my girls how to use the potty procedures, and they are very good at them. They don't sit, they don't touch, except with towels. They know the 2 towel rule; 1 for turning on/off, one to dry and open door. They know the t'paper rule. One of my girls took this to the extreme - of our home bathroom!! At first we thought maybe somebody had a cold, due to the enormous amount of paper being tossed in the cans. But then, the "cold" never went away, and well, nobody had a cold. We noticed her hands were constantly deep red and very chafed from excessive washing. (just where did she get that behavior??) 2+2 equalling 4, she was caught, ahem, red-handed. I needed to retrain my little dear that my potty is not filled with the same multiple germ-medium that the public has, and unless she wanted to sell matchsticks to keep up with never-ending supply of t'paper we need, she needed to stop. She did. I hope. Unless she has decided to flush. Being on a septic, and having had some issues, sorry just can't go there, it wouldn't surprise me.

When it came to Nicholas, being the Power Ranger, that was easy. On, off, wipe, wash hands. That was home. Public, not so easy. Frank doesn't allow me to take him to the girl's room, because, "he's a boy, he needs to use the men's room! Don't worry, he'll wash his hands." Meanwhile, I'm getting my little green-covered, keychain-toting bottle on sanitizer ready to slather the Ranger from head to toe, in his ears, eyes anywhere he'll let me. "He just washed his hands!" Frank will say. I'm thinking to myself, (just his hands, hands only?????) Nick will just smile, rubbing the stuff in, loves it. And then he'll say, "don't worry, Mom, I'll just shoot the germs away with my power shooter; sstthhhhhoooooo sstthhhhhoooooo!!!!" Big smile. From him.

Ok, yes, OCD is running through my veins. I believe it's part of my personality. That's ok, because my husband and my kids and my friends like that part. They get a great laugh out of watching me literally freak out when I do. And I do.

By the way, we ALL have issues. Don't we? Maybe yours aren't as bold as mine. Or, you're not as bold as I to tell. who knows. But I will say this, without being sarcastic; I'm not shaking hands today. Not to be rude to the so-called "national" part of the word, but for my own reasons. For me, it's well, personal. I don't shake. Get this, I didn't even teach my dogs to "shake their paws;" so how about that? Oh, I smell the hate mail coming.

Wishing you a pain-free day. hoping the air around here will clear because the himidity sucks.

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