Friday, September 28, 2007

The Music of the Night

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Tonight, I have a date at the Opera. I am so excited. I have been waiting a very long time for this night. I can remember the first time I saw it, I had no idea what to expect, only the music, I knew.

This time, I am eager to see the faces of my children, as they watch. Anticipation, excitatation, exhilleration, all wrapped up and ready to go. They know the chandelliere will drop - or will it?

Who will get the most joy of the evening? Them watching the Opera? Me, watching them? Frank, watching me, watching them? It really doesn't matter does it, to each of us, in our own way, we are all excited.

They know the movie version by heart, which is great, because they will go into it having an understanding of the show. I had none. And I must admit, I was lost. When we bought the movie for them, I was thrilled, because it gave me a more deeper appreciation and understanding of the Opera. It is quite beautiful.

I'm hoping, in all actuality, I can get myself some much-needed energy beforehand, and get rid of this still continuing migraine, although fading out, hasn't yet left altogether.

I can remember the effects of coming home from the hospital like it was yesterday; that is how I am feeling from the infusion I received. A week-long, energy deprived doldrum. The slow and steady fadeout of migraine that isn't quite gone, but better. More tolerable. The ear screaching is still heard and fealt. The numbing is ever-present. Let's not forget the aura, because, well, they don't seem to want to forget me. They still visit my dreams, and my awake-state.

The pic of the migraine monster I found a few posts ago has been haunting me. Literally. I can feel that crack going right down the right side of my head, and seems to reach into my neck. What is he grabbing for? What does he want?

He can't have me tonight. Tonight, I have a date with my family at the Opera. That is where I will be. I WILL be at the Opera tonight, enjoying my family - enjoying the Phantom of the Opera.

Hoping you all have a pain free weekend
Deborah

Monday, September 24, 2007

Orgasmic Shopping Experience

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Is it possible to experience pure bliss, one may ask, by just approaching the interior? Of course it is if one approaches that interior; but I'm talking about somewhere say exterior/interior.

Stay with me, this is interesting, I've gotten you this far with the "O" word, you'll appreciate the ending. I'm really asking this question to the men in the blogosphere; because I do know the answer for the women out there.


Ok, I'm getting there: For the past week, I've been between a fog and fetal position of bed and breakfast at the infusion center for nutrition; so my humor and sarcasm are just, ahem, flowing, for better words. Aren't you glad you stopped by? Right the orgasm.


Yesterday, Frank and I stopped by the new furniture store in the hood: American Signature Furniture. Well, let me tell you, I was like a kid in a freaking candy store.


It started in the parking lot. I'm rambling today because that is where my brain is; it's in bits-and-pieces. Bear with me. We pulled up next to my next car wanna-be, the Cadillac CTS, the first purrrrr.


I hear, "Come on, Deb, I don't want to be here all day."


Really, since when was the day about him anyway, was my thought. To which, I DID address the situation.


"Were you NOT complaining how bored you were? AND how tired you were of just sitting around the house all week? Well, now you're not!" And with that, I gave him a big smile, and I sloppily dragged my feet toward the very large doors.


And that is where I noticed the first set of oversized chocolate brown velvety two-story, floor-to-ceiling paneled drapes. We hadn't. made. it. in. the.door yet. He was in for it. He knew it, I knew it. I seriously didn't feel up to it physically, but something in me was burning for this place. I had to keep going.


He opened the door, and in we went. (Sound the herald of angels please, or something symphonic, Ian)


More ceiling-to-floor panels; these were white and whispy, something of a spring day. Soft and yet cool enough to keep the darkness at bay. Bright, too bright for me, but still very beautiful. Yes, boys, I know, they were just curtains to you, but to us, it's something very different. Isn't it?


I looked out at the great expanse of wood and canvas; the scent of leather enveloped me, I was in ecstacy, ladies. I felt like death was truly warming over my bones, under my skin, but I tell you, the colors on the partial walls, the fabrics, the decorating - I wanted to dance.


My legs were jello. Mostly from, well sort of a toss-us up here; drugs/fetal position- drugs/fetal position? Hmmm, scales are out on this.


I didn't know where to begin the walk through the place. There were salespeople ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. Seriously. They were everywhere. How obnoxious can it get, right? No problem, I can handle myself, seriously. No, really I can handle myself. Not handle handle eww.

So, we continue to "OOhh," and "Aaww" through the place. I must say that the web site does not do it justice. You simply must visit the store. I'm planning to go back. Soon. Real soon. Like today I may be in the area actually, Cinderisa has a dentist appointment nearby and if I'm feeling perky enough...... as if.

I stumble, (literally) into a beautiful dark brown and very weathered leather club chair. To which, I just happen to slink into. No, I melted into it; and then I just randomly called out for Frank, cuz he was nowhere to be found.

"Frank! Frank! Where are you? Frank?"

He finds me. He wasn't impressed with the chair. His body-type is, well bigger than mine. I can fit into the children's clothing department, with no problem, and without tailoring, and for a much better price and FIT. We move on.

He finds a gorgeous persimmon and paisley chaise lounge, which he dives into. And growls, "OOhh, yeah, get me a cigar!! Now this is what I'm talking about! Try this, Deb."

He was right, positively correct. I curled up like a cat, into a wee little ball. All I needed was a blankie. Perfect.

Then I told him, "I want a job here!" And the next saleswoman who came up to us (which was approximately every 31/2 minutes) , I inquired as much.

"Are you hiring? I've never worked in retail, but I love to decorate, and I absolutely love this place!" Not to mention, they claim that their furniture is all wood, no venere, AND all made IN America! Salute!!

I kept stumbling walking, ignoring her as she was telling me something about the manager, blah, being away blah for the day, like I can work anyblahway. In my condition. Blah blah blah blah blah blaha blahbilibitbitbbbirty blah. But for yesterday, that was where I wanted to work. Because, it was very eye candy pretty. And I can so see myself helping people make their homes all nice and stuff. I've done it for my friends and family, why not?

Back to my little orgasm boys, I know, you're waiting! Frank has so much fun when we go out - it's great to be able to open my mouth and not get into trouble. I am so sure I've left many a head shaking in wonder, like yesterday, for example, which is where this little post is bringing me.

So as we were coming down yet ANOTHER aisle of wonderment and newness of design, this rather dashing 30 something gentleman salesperson (gee, has it been 3 1/2 minutes already?) comes along and says to me; "And how are WE (wait, WE?? like we are an item, HMMMMM!) doing today?"

READY BOYS?

And this is where I got him where he just wasn't looking; and girls, by the way, not only does this totally stop ALL sales persons in the store for the entire day from bothering you, but you AND your man will pretty much have free reign of the place, gaurantee.

"I am having an ORGASM from the contents in this place, I love it so much." And I just kept going.

He was completely, yeah, I know, come on get back on your chair Jeff, completly dumbfounded, he seriously choked, shook his head and smiled. And Frank said to him,

"Do you want to talk to her some more?"

Girls, do you NOT agree with me, that sometimes, sometimes, shopping can truly be an orgasmic, euphoric experience? Whether it be that little Italian piece of leather strapped to your foot. Or the one you're sitting in at the light; maybe it's not Italian, but your style is German or Swedish or American, (hey Frank works for Chrysler and we're talking strike, like literally with GM, right now). Maybe your dream is that that CTS with the French-stitched interior accents.

Here's the question; "when you turn your car on, does it return the favor??" I love that!!

Ok, so I drive a Dodge Grand Caravan, it's not happening for me! At least it turns on. AND my car was assembled in an American plant, with American employees. That worked hard for their American dollars. We'll see what America does for them now.

Feel better. Watch the Hill tomorrow. Headache on the Hill.

I hope you enjoyed your "Shopping Experience." Next time you're out, remember this line, and seriously TRY it. Let me know how it works.

Maybe it's the drugs working; but I doubt it; I'm mostly this weird.

Deborah







Friday, September 21, 2007

Sick and Dog Tired Again

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This is how I have spent most, no all, of my time lately. I have been at my trusty infusion center since Friday of last, filling myself with the drugs that will, hopefully, prayerfully, knock this bad boy out of my existence. I have had enough.

I have been curled into a fetal ball, sleeping mostly, waiting, and just waiting some more for the drugs to do their thing. Please, oh please, do your thing. Cause, like I have my own things to do, you know! My own little life to live, people who depend on me to run things for them.

Oh, and by the way, I really hate it when I'm referred to as a "Headache patient" when I'm not; let's get it straight, this is NOT a headache, in any way, shape or form. This is a full-blown migraine. And has been for just over 13 days now. I'd say, I'm far from the headache stage. For the freaking record. Just sayin.

Going back to my comfy fetal position now, where I wait ..... some more.

Deborah

PS Check out Teri Robert - she's got some interesting stuff brewing on the DC Hill Tuesday! She'll be blogging about that a little later.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Another Storm

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Another storm has landed. I've felt it coming on sicne about oh, Tuesday or Wednesday of last week. Trying to ignore it, never works. Neither does trying to deal with it. Both for me, have been a losing battle this time around.

No real sleep. Just strange dreams and nightmares, screams of myself waking me up. Then there are the constant kaleidascope of aura that dance and swirl themselves into a dizzying array of beautiful color and sound. They awe me, for a moment, until I realize and awake, dizzy and aware, of what they are really, and what they really are there for.

Their beauty is only momentary. For the fury awaits; and when it comes, hold on, grab for the bottle, that wonderful rescue that can give me just a moment of silence and peace. Only a moment.

But not this time. The fury is much stronger than the rescue can give. Maybe next time. Just maybe. I should have known by the intensity of the colors, and by their sounds; that this time the beast would get me down harder.

Sometimes there is no rescue. Just waiting and hoping and praying it out. That is where I am. This time.

Deborah

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Home Alone




Today is my official. first. day. home. alone .without YOU! You have been my constant little companion, my sidekick, my little buddy for the past 6 (I know, almost 7) years.




You have always been with me! What am I going to do? Sure, you went to pre-school for half the day, and kindergarten, too; but this is a WHOLE day that you will be in a different place from me.


No more cuddling in our pj's to Curious George, because, well you were in too much of a hurry to get out the door to school today. I did get to lurk around the corner and scare the daylights out of you this morning. But I won't get another chance all day. Because you will be somewhere else.




Who will help me weed the garden today? Or put up our Fall decorations, shop for new ones? Remember how much fun it was to go shopping together? It's not going to be any fun alone. Everyone seems to think I will enjoy the "peace and quiet" but it's sound is very echoing for me. It's one I'm not used to. I find it lonely, not peaceful. I enjoy my children around me.


It is exciting to watch you grow; make friends, learn new things, explore the world around you. But I can't help but feel, well, selfish in not wanting to let you go yet. I know, I know, it's only 1st grade! But you are my baby. My little boy. My sweet, cuddly little boy. The one who will still curl up in my lap, look so sweetly in my eyes and tell me so wonderfully how much you love me.


Oh, how I am going to miss you! Yesterday, I had too much running around to notice the day fly past me. But today, is long and lonely. And Rocco is looking at me with the same wonder in his eyes - "where is everybody?" and "when oh when will they get home?"
Until I see you this afternoon; I shall take care of my things here for you and your sisters and Frank, your kitties and Rockhead. I will bake you more cookies to greet you off the bus; which, by the way, is one of the perks of being a Mom!
I love my job! Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to take care of my family. I may not always do it right, or perfect, and they may not be either; but they are mine and I am theirs. I am so thankful that at the end of their days, I can be here for them. Whether my head is banging or not, I'm able to be here for them. And they are here for me!
Hoping you all have a wonderful, pain-free day
Deborah
Update: The guts, gizzards and the partial head with one eye that Frank found, yes, they were all cleaned up this morning by Nick and I. Frank owes him a buck when he gets home. Gotta love cats.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

What Ya Lookin' For, Rocco?

Poor, sad Rocco. What on Earth could he be looking for out that great big window? Could it be the kitty, Bosco, his best friend? No, he's asleep on the couch.
So what could that giant goofball be looking for?
I don't see the geese across the street either. Wait, it's coming to me - from the deep silence growing through the house, yes that's it. The silence, that must be it.

I'll bet this had something to do with it:
And this:






Look how nice Christina smiled for me this year! Not like last year; no last year there was much pouting and sourness. No worries, I got some of THAT!! Oh yes, yes, I got some of that I did. Miserisa gave me that: Just look at THIS:
Oh notice Rocco in the screen door!(Which is leaving us by the way! I should do an update on another post though about the new stuff) Click on this picture to get the fullness of the brattitude will ya. In all fairness, she did smile:I'm not sure it was real, but it's a smile. She was the big protestor for the "First Day of School Pictures" so I suppose that is why she put up such a fuss.

(That wall to the right of her, that's going too. Changing out the big window, too! YEAHH)

Today, if you haven't guessed, is the first day OF SCHOOL HERE IN OUR DISTRICT!!! Just a little excited. No more, "I'm bored" "What are we doing today?" "Can we go somewhere, do something???" bla bla bla blah!!!!

Why, yes! Now you have homework, and reading assignments. Oh, and don't forget the work around the house you have, plus the church activities you have; AND afterschool activities. I'm sure there's more.

Better go fill the taxi, my life is just getting started, too. But poor Rocco, you are on your own, man. Gotta run!

Deborah


Oh, I almost forgot, if you DO enlarge the pictures, be careful you DON'T look at the guts and gizzards that Bosco left for me this morning. Nick promised to clean them up when he gets off the bus. Hey, we pay him $1 per mouse or kill that the cats bring in. Like I'M going to clean it?! No thanks. So remember, DON'T look for the guts and gizzards. K, Bye