Another storm has landed. I've felt it coming on sicne about oh, Tuesday or Wednesday of last week. Trying to ignore it, never works. Neither does trying to deal with it. Both for me, have been a losing battle this time around.
No real sleep. Just strange dreams and nightmares, screams of myself waking me up. Then there are the constant kaleidascope of aura that dance and swirl themselves into a dizzying array of beautiful color and sound. They awe me, for a moment, until I realize and awake, dizzy and aware, of what they are really, and what they really are there for.
Their beauty is only momentary. For the fury awaits; and when it comes, hold on, grab for the bottle, that wonderful rescue that can give me just a moment of silence and peace. Only a moment.
But not this time. The fury is much stronger than the rescue can give. Maybe next time. Just maybe. I should have known by the intensity of the colors, and by their sounds; that this time the beast would get me down harder.
Sometimes there is no rescue. Just waiting and hoping and praying it out. That is where I am. This time.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Posted by deborah at 10:04 AM