Saturday, November 03, 2007

I Know I'm Going to Need My Abortive When......

.........I wake up this color.

...........I've seen this all night long.
sure, it's pretty and colorful and all - but the dancing and swirling of it, I know I can do without.

...........I hear the music of buzz and tweet in my ears and head.

............When I dropped my precious cargo off at their um, well, right now I'm at a loss for nice words; anyway, I was asked if I would consider letting he and his wife (entering her residency) give them one of the children for a tax write-off. (his words ) Because, afterall, this will be the last year he gets a refund from his child-support - as in the kick-back we give for the child tax credit. Yes, I said that correctly. The children live with me, I give him a kick-back on the child tax credit.

Since I have had been divorced, I have only claimed the kids for the past three years - this being the third year. For the first three, he claimed, even though, they lived with me. I never saw a dime of - well anything as far as the tax credit or the taxes that I was owed. As a matter of fact, I even waved a portion of my child support. Because of the guilt of divorce. I have since lost the stupidity of guilt and gained a spine. We pay all of, ALL of the expenses for the kids; insurance to pencils and gum, not to mention school supplies - all of it. My head is pouunding at the moment.

This is the final year of the kick-back, as I call it. And he mentioned to me yesterday, that his wife, who is now licensed in the US and seeking her residency, wants to claim MY children to get a nice little tax exemption. (his words) My children who not only do NOT live with her, but that other than the child support he pays, they get angry and refuse to add to when asked.

An example; "Dad, I need a cover for a project. " While they were out shopping. His response, "That's what I pay your Mother child support for." The cover, a mere 15cents - no lie.

Each time they ask for something, that is his reply. Fine. Mind you, that is his responsibility.

It is not my responsibility, however, to make sure that they, who are both able bodied, can make a tax exemption. Adopt.

I cannot work at the moment. My job right now, and by the way, has been, to raise MY kids. I do a great job. Get your own kids, if you want a write-off. Don't have him ask me to give you one of mine. Because you just gave me a migraine, B*tch.



ErinM said...

Wow, that's pretty ballsy. I'd be pissed off, and from your words it seems you are too. I hope your migraine gets better and you're able to deal with this.

deborah said...

thanks, erin. ballsy, I'd say. pissed doesn't even begin to touch on it. And I haven't felt this way in ages. It makes me crazy because I normally don't get this way, nor do I let anyone get me here.

Brooklynn said...

Hang in there...and remember to breathe. Reading this made me mad. People can be so self aborsbed that I don't think realize when they sound like a jack ass.

Lisa Milton said...

Wow. That is gutsy and well, rather ridiculous. Do they get it sounds CRAZY? Probably not.

Please feel better soon. Sorry they are causing you grief.

Dr.Carley Clan said...

I don't mean to be the shrink here but I AM. When he dares to tell your poor children 'that's what I am paying your mother for' each time the slime (sorry) says that bring that up to him and say a psychologist said you are damaging the children in the manner that you speak to them, we are taking you back to court. Get a court order have him remeanded to take childrearing classes ( YES THIS CAN BE DONE). As far as this B- that has now entered your life, bring your lawyer in, she has no rights legally to them or tax exemtions. By the way, do you know each year you can take the ex back to court for a 15% child increase (this is in most states others may have a different % ) for child support!!! Most mothers do not know that is a yearly thing. To bring down your migraines truly every time your ex brings it up give him your attorneys card and just smile like he is not getting to you. It will piss them off to think they are not getting to you! It is pissing them off each month to even write those checks! Imagine how pissed off it will make them if you do not engage him/B- in this bull. Don't let people at that level get to you. If he is saying such things to your children they need to be taken under your wing to make sure this is not damaging them. You are a wonderful mother. That B- hates that, she hates that your children adore you, she hates that you are great with you kids. Well just let her suck that up!!!!
Will talk later I feel for you. I have delt with many situations like this including being the pawn in my own parents divorce (we will talk later on that one)
best wishes. I am praying for you. Well talk this week.

Migraineur said...

F* that resident crap, the woman is a DOCTOR. And you have a chronic illness and can't work, and SHE wants your tax deduction?

I agree with Lisa - make them talk to your attorney.

deborah said...

thank you all for your encouragement. you don't know how much better I feel.

Honestly, you don't know half of the crap. I'm too nice about it, rather, HAD been. It's in the past.