I know, the fence needs some painting. Any takers? Because, it's just too big for me. Would you just look at that sky! Can God paint or what!

So these guys were out raking up the leaves into this huge pile and I had to get their pics. We do love the fall here in the Northeast. The colors are absolutlely spectacular. The smells, ugh, simply like nowhere else. To smell a fire crackling at night or the cinnamon and apples baking, mmmmm. Now that is what fall is. Oranges, yellows and reds against the brilliant blue sky.

The leaves are near totally gone on most of the trees; that is something I just hate to see. The emptiness of the trees. Well, you can see the squirrel's nests up there. But it's so bare and cold. The winters here are so long, so cold. So wet and painful.

Lastnight I had dreams of new aura; they looked like the little round peppermint candies you get at nice restaurants. But these were black and white. Naturally they were spinning in their spinning ways, in different direction, opposite each other - faster and faster they would go. In a zig-zagged pattern. As they would speed up, they would start to make a sound of zipping from my left to right ear, and then left again. I hate these little aura peppermint candy zippy things.

For the last, hmmm, oh 3 maybe 4 weeks now, I have had a non-stop brain-beating migraine. I already exhausted my abortive. Twice. I have been to another doctor for hemorraging in a not so pleasant area. And I can't seem to stay awake for more than just a few hours a day. I. feel. like. garbage. tired garbage. again. oh how I cannot stand feeling like this anymore. I am fighting a nap right now. and I really don't know why. silly. ok, take a nap. again with the stupid nap.

My Neverending Story

But first, a little bit of the better part of my life that has been happening. First of all, I have a twenty-year old child. It just feels and sounds weird to say it, but I do.



See, Lexi is now a sweet, and happy twenty! So hard to believe. We celebrated her and Grandma's birthdays together last month; which was only a few weeks ago, but I've been out of sorts. Anyway, I only have the pics from my camera so far.






She doesn't like to be the center of attention, so she was mostly throwing the gifts to the ground; oh, and this was her second party of the day, she still had another party to go to. (and it was 7pm) She was pretty tired.



Of course, I ended up finding this awesome desk at a garage sale, for $30, and got it for $20. A bargain. I actually love it the way it is. And ist's perfect in my living room. I needed my own space here for my laptop and for my, you know, doing things. By the way, I ditched the kitchen chair.


Another project. Before.

and after. I haven't done the other yet, I need to get more fringe for the shade. It was too short; it's beaded. perfect, but short.

Last Sunday we had Thanksgiving for our Philip - as he came home from Afghanistan and will not be home on Thanksgiving. These two little goof balls did, well, the de-gutting of their pumpkins. They are just too cute.

Why we didn't get after pictures? Because I left the picture-taking up to my girls. Nick's pumpkin is outside, and I suppose I could go out and get a pic, butttttt.......

This is the beautiful, frosty view we are fortunate to have out our front window. It is a gorgeous view. It's a West-facing window, over-looking a park. It's perfect in the winter when a storm is coming in as well. And in the evening when the sun is setting on a warm evening and the sky is a beautiful hue of pink, very nice. But this picture I just had to take. It really gives a true glimpse of Fall here in the Northeast. Cool, crisp and vibrant in color. I just hate when the leaves are totally vanished. Wshen there is no color left in the trees. You can really feel the cold then.

Does this look cold? This is migraine cold. It's something I'm tired of feeling. Of seeing. The ever-present me I hate. The part I never seem to get used to. You'd think I would have that part down by now. Denial is so so simple. Especially on good days. They are far and few between; and yet they feel like lifetimes of wonder. And I must accomplish so much on them.

Paint, and create. Clean, cook. Be the housewife, the mother, chef, shopper. woman. Those are the days I can open the windows, at least the curtains. And drive. shower. brush my teeth. get off the couch. prepare a meal.

Movement of any kind, at all, for the past few days has literally brought out the most intense pain to my ears, my eyes, my very inner most parts of my skull that I never knew existed. I am afraid to move at the moment. So I just sit in my stink and wait for the meds, those wonderful, awful meds to work their merry wonder again. And if they don't, well, then what? Well, then I guess, it's back to square one, call the doc and go to - hey, let's not go there.

oh great, the dog needs to go out. up I go. the bark just jolted my freaking head. I hate that dog sometimes.

deborah