Didn't See it Coming

It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how vague or brilliant the aura, I refuse to recognize it for what it is. Have you ever done that? Even when it has sound, which it did this time around, well that is actually normal for me; anyway, there were the lights and zigzags, and the screaches, and still, I denied it was coming.

And even when I woke with it, I still didn't want to call it what it really was; I thought I had a bug. (what????) Stupid me.

Alas, I finally gave in and injected myself with my trusty toradol (chiming bells inserted here) and it eased up. ta da. How is it, that after several thousands of migraines, I still refuse to recognize it's coming?? Is it blatant denial? Or stupidity on my part? In the end, I see it for what it is, the monster, accept that it has come, and deal with it. Well, not so much accept as hmmmmm, know it's there. I refuse to accept them. I don't want them, therefore, I cannot accept them.

This past Tuesday, I had another round of cryoanalgesia, followed by, rather - triggering the migraine for the day. and the next day. But it works for me; it takes them down a notch and keeps me free from migraine for longer periods. Rather than daily migraine, I live with 1 to 3 per week. That is a remarkable upgrade in living conditions for me.

Perhaps the fewer migraines are causing me to become comfortable in the lack of them. Thus, the denial. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.



Fall has landed here, the weather is cooler, it is darker at an earlier hour. The weather patterns are changing from dry and warm, to cool and rainy. Spring and Fall are so beautiful, but they affect me terribly. We have talked about moving South, but cannot right now.

I would love to be able to play outside longer than we can here in the Northeast. I just hate the idea of winter coming; the idea of having to stay indoors for months to come. I'm not ready for the cold. It makes my body hurt, my head ring and scream with pain. I hate it!

We had this beautiful fog fall in the park across the street tonight. It's getting cooler. I am sure the pic does it no justice. It was so beautiful with the sky glowing behind it. You could smell smoke from a fireplace in the air. mmmmmmm, what a yummy smell. I cannot wait to light up the fireplace this year!! But, I'm not ready YET for the change to all cold days and nights.

Next week, Lexi will be moving to an adult hab home. I cannot wait to show the pics of the house. It's so homey and warm. Rather than 5 girls, where she is now; she will be one of three girls in the new home. There is REAL furniture, rather than the "institutional" style in the house she is at now. She will also be closer to our home and church. I am so excited to move her in, and decorate her room. We've already done some shopping for her, and I painted a new desk for her computer. It is soooooo exciting.

Tonight, DH is starting, the kids are in bed. The pups are curled up sleeping. Oh, and I am migraine-free. for now.

Wishing you a pain-free day
Deborah

30 Things.....

In observation of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week, (wow, that is a mouthful!), I have taken on the challenge, well not necessarily challenge but (I am stuck for the correct term ) - I am participating, yes, that's it, with an activity: a "meme," 30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know. You can play along, too. If you are a reader with an Invisible Illness, take the "meme" to your site.

First of all, for those who do not know what an Invisible Illness is, it is one that has no visible identity. I do not use a walker or cane or a wheelchair; though at times, I am unable to keep my balance and would profit from such. I do not have a hearing aide; although at times I wish I could turn the volume down on life, as it gets way too loud for me. I just live with pain. hmmm, "just," well not quite. On with the "meme"

1. The illness I live with: I have Migraine Disease

2. I was diagnosed in the year: It has always been a part of my life; but the word "migraine" was first said to me in 1992.

3. But I had symptoms since: I have always had them, for as long as I can remember.

4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make: Slowing down, especially when I know it's coming. The migraine, that is.

5. Most people assume: head pain is the only symptom of Migraine Disease; and that it is not a disease, but simply a headache.

6. The hardest thing about morning is: waking up in pain when my family needs me.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: Gray's Anatomy

8. A gadget I couldn't live without: without a doubt, my earplugs

9. The hardest part about night: being awake when I should be sleeping. the tossing and turning and just hoping I can sleep is torture. Without enough sleep, I'm destined for another monster.

10. Each day I take: I am down to only 8 meds per day. My insurance company has refused me two of my medications that worked to keep them under control. In the event of the monster, I must take more meds to kill it.

11. Regarding alternative treatments: I have used chiropractic care, and am on a new drink (new for me) called Xango. It is from the mangostene plant

12. If I had to choose between an invisible or visible illness: I will deal with what I'm dealt thank you.

13. Regarding working and career. hmmmm......I take care of my family, so I am able to work from home - HA. The last job I had, I was forced to quit due to migraine.

14. People would be surprised to know: aura are the most beautiful and energetic part of my migraine. They mesmerize me.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: knowing my kids may develop them.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: go to see DMB live!!!

17. The commercials about my illness: hardly touch on the reality of migraine

18. Something I really miss doing: this is more of a miss-out for me; I wish I could travel with my husband. He loves to travel, but because I don't do well with it, I get ill and migrainey, I don't travel.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: foods I love that are triggers for migraine.

20. A new hobby I have taken up: painting furniture

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: travel with my husband

22. My illness has taught me: to rest when my body tells me to. That is really is OK to take naps when I feel lousy.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing that gets under my skin is: when people have the "answers" because they read it somewhere!!!

24. But I love it when people: are actually informed; ask questions; seek professional advice.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" Phil 4:13

26. When someone is diagnosed, I'd like to tell them: learn all you can. read books that explain and help you through the disease. I usually give titles and authors with that.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness: is the amount of time I spend in bed getting over the monster, or trying to prevent it from coming on.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was: my friend Joyce came to stay with me in the hospital; she showed up after hours, sang hymns to me, brought gifts for my children, gave me cds to listen to, and offered to massage my feet for me. I hate my feet to be touched, so I denied that. I do let my husband rub my feet when I am in pain.

29. I am involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I would like to help others, try to educate or point them in a better direction if I can.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: that you care enough to listen. thank you.


At this point, you too are encouraged to participate by answering these questions on your blog and keep this going.

You can find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com

Wishing you a pain-free day.
Deborah

Cocka-Doodledy-Doo

It's a Rooster Party!! And I have roosters. I honestly didn't realize just how many I have. The border, I put up when I first moved in and this is all that is left. I have been taking it down to redo my kitchen.






I believe I may be due for some new plates. Oh, and I did fix the crooked one. I love the basket, for some reason, paper plates and dinnerware keep ending up here for summer. I usually have towels folded up in it.









I love my canisters, thank you Target. OOOH, I just remembered I have a dish for my garlic that matches. (oops).

The pretty tin is from a craft sale. I wish I had 2 more.





I painted the potholder holder. I am eventually covering the ugly tile with stainless backing.

I can't keep anyone from touching my towels, drying or wiping their hands on them, or basically just leave them alone. I would prefer to keep them as decoration, but it just hasn't worked out yet for me. I do iron them before I hang them so they look nice. And then, they get used.


this pretty girl is from my little old lady friend that used to live next door. I miss her. She was such a wonderful ol' gal.





I think I'm obsessed. But they're so cute. I saw a life-sized rooster, complete with feathers a few days ago, but I'm holding out for the sale.






I love this little teapot. thank you Cracker Barrel. LOVE their store!











I need to change the color of my dining room. I did pick a color. I still like the wine color, which never comes out in pictures. It looks like dark purple, and it's not. I chose a nice soft robin's egg blue, again! I love the color. It'll open the room up a little and make it bigger in appearance.



OH just let me tell you about the wine - it is fabulous for the price! I had to have it, just for the rooster, and ended up loving it.

Don't you just love the vintage apron?? It's so adorable.




The canisters were from a friend from high school; actually, her Mom had given them to me when I got my first apartment. I found the salt and pepper shakers at a flea market. I now have a full set. Love them.


more Cracker Barrel - the rooster figurine salt and pepper shakers. Oh and the other towel to the set.




My coasters! I have 4, all a little different, but you get the idea.
This is the one I just bought. Isis is afraid of it. I also bought a crow and it's freaking everyone out. Time to get a few more.

I hope you like my roosters. I'm currently working on a beautiful cabinet I just acquired from my sister and her boyfriend. I need to get to Hob Lob to find the knobs and some more little pieces for it. I did some stenciling with joint compound on it. I think I may do it somewhere in the house. Sooooo easy. I just can't wait to show it.

I'm off to see more roosters.

oh, how they grow

What a beautiful bride was she. It still chokes me up to think she is a married woman. I have known this young lady since the was a beautiful newborn baby. She and Lexi were always so cute together. I remember watching her little milestones; sitting, crawling, her first steps. Though my little Lexi would take much longer to reach them, it was always with joy that I watched Amy make hers. No jealousy or envy, but joy to see a child walk with so much enthusiasm. If memory serves, I believe she was running almost as soon as she walked. She was so cute.














Ugh, and now she is all grown up. My how the time flies. Seriously, where do 21 years go, and why do we not just treasure every second of them?? I was looking at her on Friday, all grown and so beautiful; and this time, just for a moment, I thought of Lexi. What would she be like, if not.....well, oh how do I put it???? Mentally retarded? Would she marry at 21? Would she have gone to college and found her sweetheart there? No sadness here, just wondering. But she is Lexi, and I love her exactly the way she is. She is so fortunate to not endure the worries of daily life and stress like we do.


I have pics of these two, Marisa now 17 and Michael the same age, running around at age 3 in the nude. Pics of them at just days old in a playpen together. Of course, Marisa was screaming her head off. They are only 5 birth days apart in age. Oh, he is Amy's brother. (Amy and Lexi are only 3 weeks apart). We were always together, the kids playing together, fighting with each other, thinking they were cousins for years.




Look how nice they all looked. They are growing up too fast. Michael and Cinderisa are now entering their senior year; Chrisarella in her freshman year, and the boy is in third. Funny thing, Lexi and Cinderisa will both be graduating this year. My babies are growing up.

Philip is getting married. He is in love and she is just wonderful! It's so funny to see his demeanor change when he talks to her or about her - he's all goofy and mushy. He's so cute.

Why must they grow up so fast??? It can't be possible that I have a 21 year old!!! ugh

R and R

Meet my wonderful in-laws. How cute are they? Oh, we were celebrating the 4th of July (duh), for those that were wondering why...... The necklaces and hat were required for him to wear as he was the oldest, well, until this little cutie pie arrived. Some family we had been able to meet - she is 90! You should see her move! too cute.



With her is Les, and he is very busy finding lots and lots of lost family members with the Scripa name around the US and Italy and Australia! This is the notebook he carries with him to track
everyone, and I do mean, EVERYONE, that he finds. He is serious and amazing at what he does. I wish I had the time and energy to tell you what he has done for my in-laws. I will tell you this: he took them to Italy to meet new family. Amazing. He finds family everywhere he goes.



Here is an idea of just how small our world is: these two boys,
belong to these two (different) Moms; You have to look closely - it's the brunette and red-head in the background. Anyway, they found each other in karate class. They have the same last name. Our last name. Look, it's not like our name is Smith or Jones here. And, she just happens to be the grand-daughter of the 90 year old. Who is (of course) related. Small, small world.












So after the wonderful celebration of the fourth; Frank and I took the kids to the Adirondacks for a little vaca. We usually go to Virginia Beach, which is nice and beachy and all. But I hate the long drive, the humidity, the long drive (can you say car-sick) the immense amount of people, heat. It's beautiful, I'll give it that, but a bit too.......commercial for my liking. Overcrowded. I needed peaceful. He delivered. Thank you so very much, Frankie. I really needed it.




This is my Isis after a much-need restful little week in the Adirondack's. She stayed in those shades for five minutes or more. She is a crazy little thing.







The girls took her out in the lake and taught her to swim. She was hysterical; each time Cinderisa would pick her body up out of the water, her paws would still be moving like she was swimming. We couldn't stop laughing at her.





Here, the kids are rowing a canoe. In the pouring rain. In circles. Nearly into the shore. Very entertaining I might add. Why they wanted to go in the rain - got me.


This was pretty much ALL we did, sat by a campfire. I miss the campfire, the peacefulness, the darkness and oh the complete quiet that was all around.

I am looking forward to the getaway that Frank and I are taking next week. We need it. The kids are going to Disney with their Dad; and I just pray they have a safe and wonderful time. Especially since they are flying for their first time.

Garbage Picking - Stress Relief

This incredible little piece was left alone; all sad and by itself just waiting for someone to come and give it some love.

The former owner had no use for it any longer. He decided the landfill was a better place to put it. But I saw it, and I saw that it had great bones. It sat in my garage for a year, until now:









I needed the stress release in a big way. It's been so busy here. This was just the project I needed. I love the way it turned out. Please let me know what you think of it.








Fleur de lis is one of my favorite things. The colors are much better in real life; the camera does it no justice.

My favorite place, Hob Lob is where I get my knobs and pulls. I can't stay away from the place. I must must show you the lamps and candle holders I just got. Next time. I cannot wait to do another project. oooh, what to do??


As for my monster, so far so good, he has been keeping under cover. Although, the aura the last few days have been pretty vivid, hmmm, weird.


Wishing you all pain-free days.
Deborah

Blooming all Around

I just love the colors in my front gardens. The constant rain and low temperatures are keeping everything lush and vibrant. As for the gardens out back, it has been a work in progress to keep the dogs out. We also put a raised veggie garden in. I'll post that another day.



Now onto my great finds of the weekend:

How adorable is this little frog and bird?? The frog reminds me of the Frog and Toad book character. 50cents for both. The little key holder - 25cents.



The ugly butterflies are plastic, I can't wait to paint them!!! $1. These are going to be on the front of my house, I think; with the look of very aged rust. Yes, I think that would look lovely. Or maybe a blue? No no, that will just not do. Oh, I almost forgot the bundle of paint brushes I found for $1. Too late to post.


My favorite find is this: $2 chair, I can't wait to paint this one, maybe a deep aqua.


oh and a refrigerator dish for 75 cents - LOVE IT


SO WHAT DID YOU FIND ON YOUR WEEKEND??