Friday, March 30, 2007

From Bach to Rock Your Socks Off

This is the only picture I was able to take of the performance, due to copyright protection, which I of course understand. But man, I scrapbook. AND Blog. But thanks be to Photobucket. see below. ummm. after this blog.

What an experience, let me tell you! He rocked the house, totally. Along with 170 stringers; violins, violas, cellos, bass, oh and the croud of some 500 maniac parents and teens. We were awed by, not only him, but the kids. This man has a vision. For music, and for bringing the love of music into the heart and soul of these kids. He's going in to the schools, with his son, his wife and his band, one being co-creator of the Tran-siberian Orchestra, to energize and "electrify,'' as he put it, their strings. Check it out:
mark wood

If your district hasn't had this experience yet, I urge you to seriously look into it, and soon. The passion he has redirected for music in these kids was something you must see for yourself. To see 170 kids, wow, one hundred seventy kids, with bows, bopping their heads, and jumping up and down, and quite literally getting into their music was just mind-blowing.

This same district, some 20 something years ago, was voting down the music program. Now, we are inviting legendary music to inspire our kids. When they played Puple Haze, and Eleanor Rigby, whoa. I mean, how often do you attend an orchestra concert for the school and hear those oldies? Like, never! Oh, then there was the light show, which is probably why my head is a little under the weather. It was all worth it. The best part, by far, was when just the kids, all 170 were playing Stairway to Heaven. Incredible. I'm hoping they will have a cd available for the district, because it was just, can you tell I was blown away.

He visits the schools, teaches them to find their passion for music, and to allow it come alive from within. And then they perform. Not only that, he teaches assemblies for the entire school in the district/districts, of all levels. This I believe is the 3rd year he has been back. My first time seeing him, certainly not my last.

We are fortunate enough in our district, to have Kristen LaDue, who teaches the orchestra. She has also played with the Syracuse Symphony and Tran-Siberian Orchestras. As a special guest lastnight, Mark's brother Greg performed, he also play with SSO. What a performance!!

Oh, and the Viper! Too cool. They raffled one off for $5! He hand-makes these incredible 7-tringed electric violins. (Kristen's is hot pink!) The young lady that won , was given a blue Viper, signed, on stage by Mark Wood, in front of us all. What a rockin night. These kids had the opportunity of a lifetime, and I hope they carry it with them through their lives.

Go to the link, get him in your district. Allow him to electrify and energize your music program to a whole new level. You won't regret it.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Child Whispering - 101

oh, i neglected forgot to mention the part yesterday, during the butchering job, where nicholas was growling at me and telling me to "call frank" or "i'm telling frank," i can't really remember which statement it was now. because it was yesterday. so when he got home, i told him, in my most mocking and shaking of my head way, "you can go tell frank on me now" - to which, he threw off his coat and bookbag, and ran up the stairs. the 2 of them went to chris and his head is now fixed. he does look much better. so i didn't take the cosmetology class that was offered at boces when i was in high school. so what! and let's face it, if i did, i wouldn't remember anything anyway, now would i? uh, big fat NO!

i have that handy (or so i thought it would be) list of chores on my refiriderwhatever, the food experiment in a cold box. each day, when the girls get home they are to gleefully, skip to the list and find their chore of the day and happily do it. also, there are listed chores with a *, that are to be done twice a week, such as bring your smelly laundry down, AND sort it, if you want it done AT ALL. (i need to interupt this program for just a moment!)

my girls have stupidly decided that although, they are not, repeat, NOT fashion models, they are starting a trend, well just one, not naming names, (cinderisa), so she'll grab like a ridiculous looking trashy too small, for real, TANK TOP(???) and wear it over say, a t-shirt. both too small. but she'll put a zip-hoodie over it on her way out the door, thinking i'll not 'get it' !! cuz i was born yesteryear and all. duh. whatever. so, me being the person who washes and dries AND folds (yippeee) the laundry ( i know, it's exciting here,), i have intercepted the ugliest crap from big white box. let me tell ya, this girl has close to nothing, i mean NU THING to wear anymore. it's getting pretty comical. because the respect is right there with the amount of clothing, and i'm so bored with the whole conversation of " you know, cinderisa, one day, you need to understand that you are not my peer, you are child, i am adult. you need to earn respect." blah blah blah. like no other parent has had THAT chant before. blue IN the face.

then we have the other nameless child, (catmawler) does it never end!!!!!!!!!!! she is my litte ocd in training. she must keep her whites (sneaks) white, her room is always neat and tidy. she even dusted it yesterday. she has a flair for fashion. that is one of her nicknames from frank. but, there is always a but. what is it with tight? i don't get it. she wants to wear capri's already, hey, i understand the idea, but it's not yet that warm! where IS global warming anyway, because it ain't here, that's for sure. still waiting! i am literally sitting here with my warmed-up corn bag heating my freezing cold fingers. and i do this on an all day basis to keep them warm. i'm always cold.

where was i going with all of this stuff??????? right the chore list. perhaps, i should tke a pic!yes, i know, i'm so clever. now getting them to actually go to it, AND do the chores is another thing. i've devised a plan - i'm making nicholas rich. he is actually very good at his chores, he enjoys doing the chore at hand, even doing his sister's stuff. soooooo, i may even pay him to do their stuff when they complain about what they "had to do last time!" what a great idea. cha-ching cha-ching nicholas! oooh ooh ohhhh, i can just see the looks on their mad little faces now. bumma

today, we get to go to the smelly bottle joint, this should get my head reeling, return all of the, mostly ginger-ale bottles and get the boy a prize. i told him, whatever comes back, is his. he's looking at the 5 bags out there like he's cashing in a small car, as in radio-control. and, don't they always look like you're going to get like maybe 10 - 15 big ones? you valiantly, or as in my case, go in with your nose in your shirt, empty the bags, wash hands with clorox wipes, his hands, too, then the purell comes out, gag a few too many times. the eyes well up with water. "wait did you get those 4 bottles that you just dropped?" like they're going to short-change you a big 20 cents and make a profit there. it's really going to screw up your day, right! just get on with it!!! gagging, burying nose now into the armpit, thanking God for secret antiperspirant because it smells so good. "ok, $6.45. have a great day. next" you now have, not only upset stomach, but puzzled look on your face AND anxious, dancing buzzed boy waiting to spend lots of money. not a problem, just think of the looks on the girls faces when you tell them that you dipped into THEIR allowance too! OH YEAH!!!!!!!!! NOW i'm feeling better. this is where the whispering begins.
clever parent that i am, wait, i need to tap a shoulder. better. hey, i feel a need to give credit where it's due and all. right. i'm more of a laid back and sarcastic type. i allow them to fall on their faces in my humor and wit, unless, of course, it requires more"hands on", if you know what i mean.
in my father's house, it was a little more, um, loud! i heard sounds like, the belt buckle coming undone; that thing scared the living hairs off my neck! oh, his footsteps could outrun horses, and loud? let me just tell you, he meant for them to be heard. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! "you just WAIT til I get you kids!" it's funny now thinking about it. or when we were in the car, ticking him off. if he pulled over - man, we were dead meat! i'm not that kind of freak parent. he'd first start swinging his arm around before he'd actually pull over, we'd be ducking and laughing. those were the days
frank, on the other hand; he has a sort of react first kind of thing going on. something happens, and it's not allowed to just sink in. he reacts, with a sort of raging lunatic kind of frustration thing. BLAH AHHHH HOOOO AAHHHH ARRRR WWWWOOOOOFFFFF ARRRRFFFFF GGGRRRUUUUUUFF FFFF RRUUURFF !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then it's out of his systme and he comes into the real world, thinks about everything, mulls it all over, and all is right again. he will generally apologize where he was wrong, ask for apologies from the accuser, and we all go about our business.
me, i just sort of sit and watch it all unfold. literally. when he has his outburst, i watch. when he's done, i'll go to the office/scrapbook room/mess hall and we'll talk, or i'll lecture as he likes to put it. i like to point out his "strong" points. this after, or afterwards, i'll go to each child and let them know where they were wrong. one of the girls is great at apologies. never ever ever needing to be told, nor should they ever be asked for an apology. it should come natual.
the other girl, refuses to see she is wrong. as it is, the sun does rise and fall on her. what was i thinking?

when they bicker over who did what - nick gets to cash in. today is his day. mine too. i got the flyer for christmas tree shops. and there was this oh, so cute bird house calling my name. it's almost time to start playing in my garden. i hope i can do that this year! i at least have plans to.

oh, i must show you what makes a migraneur like me happy! look what frank brought me home yesterday. i know, i'm a lucky girl! you are going to be so jealous.

this is what i found in his lunch box when i opened it! i screamed with joy. they are earplugs! AHHHHH! i wear them to bed.

there are so many, that my nightstand drawer is overflowing! YEHAW! i have said it before, little things make me happy. this made me happy.

now why and how did that paragraph get down there?

down on the bottom of the list, it states that if they don't do the chore, they lose tv, phone and mp3. well, due to catmawler's unruly brattitude toward littleman, she hasn't had her mp3 since she got it, and, now this is funny, her dad called lastnight and asked if her could have it because tita (her stepmom) could use it. hey, why should it sit around anyway. so yeah, of course she can have it! i mean, i don't know how to program the thing anyway! (idiot) then he asked about her dig cam. well, she's working on losing that, but not yet.
oh, her little friend lost another little g.pig. mr. fuzz died yesterday. so sad. why do we torture ourselves and our kids with pets? why why WHY? when nicholas leaves every other weekend for his dad's house, he hugs his fishbowl. hugs! a fishbowl. "goodbye ozzy, or fuzzyball, whatever it's name is" goodbye ally" (he had to rename the fish due to losing a game of matching spiderman to ally). he's so sweet. so what happens when one of them die? oh yeah, he will be heart broken. I can see the little bugger sobbing over the tidey bowl funeral now. thanks, jamie!
last year when i had to put my shephard down; ugh, thank God, my aunt is my vet, or rather the dogs' vet - she is wonderful. we had to bring rockhead with us to say "goodbye" can you stand it. he licked his face, and laid next to him crying. i cried, frank cried. thea was wonderful. it was TERRIBLE!!!!! when my friend terri had to put zach down, i had to be there with her! and frank, and nicholas. we all cried. it was so sad. i mean, you know you're doing the best thing for the dog. but zachy looked up in her eyes, like to say, "thanks man!" we just lost it right there. thea was there for that, too. for kids, you're supposed to be, what STRONG??? not me, ain't happening. i'm like cream of wheat whenn it comes to my pets. i've had to put too many down, dig holes. cinderisa dug a hole for crying out loud. and yet, we continue to do this to ourselves. and them. for the unconditional love.
yeah, and the idiot still lifts his leg in my basement. but i'm telling you now, come nxt week, when it gets painted, and the week after that, when the carpet gets laid, if he even THINKS of lifting his leg, i'm calling my mexican friend, well, after he recovers. yes, he'll be in recovery first. because he'll have fallen down some stairs or something.
so gayla, when i get cesar here, i'll let you know, girlfriend! oh yeah! mi casa es su casa. hasta manyana baby.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

My Family Keeps Me Blogging

Oh, yes, indeed. My family keeps me with full-bodied information to blog. I am forever finding myself saying, after a round of laughter, I must blog that! Most of the time, if I don't write down at least a morsel of the information, it's lost, forever.

But this morning, as I was getting myself ready for another fun-filled day at the other place I live ; the dentist office, only not for me this time (big smile from me, oh and very clean and shiny I might add!) oh, this time it's for the catmawler.

Back to the story - I was getting ready, Nick was watching Dora, the dog was sleeping; until he heard the sound of the squeekie toy on the tv. Now Rocco has this strange , hmm what is the word i'm looking for here??? not infatuation. maybe lust, no desire, no not taste, passion, i hate when i can't pin point stupid words. So anyway he is crazy for squeeky toys, ok.(think, "cukoo for cocoa puffs," crazy). He hears this toy just a squeeking away, "squeek - squeek - squeek -squeek" and his radar dog ears are zoomed totally in on the show! He's looking, up at the tv, his head nods left, then right. his ears are perked. more "squeek. squeek. squeek."

By this time, i'm in hysterics, trying to get nicholas to watch him, but no, he's too busy with his self-made carwash, which was actually pretty good (made of tinkertoys), he's even got sound effects and bubble-sound effects to go along with it. which are making my ears tweak and jerk, and my face is now getting this strange sort of twitching motion going on when he does it, but that's ok, because at the same time, my foot is sort of oddly feeling this pulling force to kick the daylights out of this stupid carwash that's making him make these hideous noises. what is wrong with this kid?! get my foot washed, yeah get a pedicure, yeah! where was i going with this??

the squeek.

anyway. boots lost the stupid toy. but rocco was tuned in. and it was hillarious. when dogs are tuned in to something they must have, it's pretty funny. so, blah blah blha, map, swiper, gooey bridge, and they finally find the squeeky toy again. and of course, rocco had to be pointed to the tv once again. i had to call frank at work, he was busy, but i made him wait, hey, what could he be busy doing (at an auto parts plant?) while i told him, laughing hysterically about how the dumb dog was watching the tv and tilting his head at the squeek toy. wow, is my life entertaining, or what!

for my next trick, and i'm sorry i didn't get a picture of this. and it's only because he cried. again. fuzzy needed another haircut. ok, just to set the record straight; i DID ask him on several occasions, by the way, if he wanted to go to the salon to finish - he. said. no. poor little guy. so i just kept going.

you know how plaid has that light spot here, dark spot there? yeah, that's nick. then there was the crying and, "i don't want to go to school!"

so i tried the old, shift the blame trick that the kids always use on me. tit-for-tat, you know.

"well, you know, nick, i asked you if you wanted to go, and you kept saying no, you wanted me to do it! arent' you happy with your decision?"

he should be coming off the bus any minute now. he'll either run in crying, with a hateful look towards me. or he'll come running as if nothing happened. either way, the child has only one speed - run.

bus! he's smiling!!!!!!! he said they all smiled at him. i so happy. i need to hug on him now


Monday, March 26, 2007

out of the mouths of babes

some things in life are just too cute to not post about. case in point, my son, nicholas. this child, like most 6-year olds, has nothing in life to worry about. other than what color bowl to use at breakfast. he demands his spiderman spoon and fork for each and every meal. don't forget the ritual at bedtime! spray the pillow with lavendar(i started this), then prayers, hugs, kisses, he must pray first, then me. i must make mine a long prayer. if i'm feeling too sick or tired and have frank tuck him in, he flips out, because the routine isn't up to spec.

oh, and need i forget, the little ladies man has yet to leave the house without applying gel and water, and more gel, to his slick locks. he is in kindergarten. kindergarten. the names trinity, and annabelle, brooke, iris, pheobe, and kemryn send him running with the biggest smile on his face. he is the only boy at his table, with 4 little girls. we make fun at home, and he loves it! such a little ladies man. when he was 2, i told him to say, "hubba-hubba" to the pretty girls at the beach and the pool when we took our first trip to Virginia Beach. they loved it. he was adorable.

what i was really getting to was this: the first little adoption that took place from my sister Jamie, was bosco. then came ozzy and harriet, or i think their names are roxy and harry; but i call then ozzy and harriet, anyway, they are 2 goldfish that belonged to alyssa and aiden. and since we took such great care of bosco, alyssa decided we would make wonderful parents to the fish. they now live in nicholas' room. so does hyrup, the snake. who has been adopted by his brother, who is in iraq. yeah, i know, we are something arent' we. something.

so, the flipside of ownership is this; they need to be cleaned up after. who does this? well, not me, that's for sure. that actually gets handed down to cinderisa and the catmawler. it's in the contract, it's part of the "earn your keep" and "if you want it to stay" deals. hey, works for us.

last week, after the first cleaning-of-the-fishbowl, it was found that the fish needed a net to be caught in, since the catmawler was using one of my drinking glasses. my. drinking. glasses. to catch and allow the fish to swim in while she was cleaning the bowl. altogether now - eeeewwwwwwwww grooooossssssss. i know. so, frank and nick went to the pet store, got a (rather large, duh) net and also got hyrup a meal while they were out. hey, why not. so they get home, nick checks out the net, and it doesn't fit. bummer.

yesterday, while we were shopping, we grab a small net. when the kids get home from their dad's, nick is of course totally jazzed, and cannot wait to check out the new net. catmawler is all, "you want me to clean the bowl?" these kids are really strange, honest. so frank and i are just sitting on the couch doing like nothing, and the next thing you know, nicholas comes running down the stairs, all excited and yelling, with net in hand, "look mom, i caught one! i caught one!" there was a little gold fish IN the net. poor little dying gold fish. so through our laughs, we were trying desperately, i might add, to explain to him that the net wasn't meant for fishing. it was very cute.

kids do say the funniest things. and blondes, let me tell ya, my blonde has got some of the most strangest remarks we've heard yet.

here's just one example:

on the thruway, and i wasn't in the car to hear this one, but i can imagine her saying it, the van passes a tow-truck, towing another truck from the rear, which she missed. so she says to frank, "frank, why is that truck driving backwards down the highway?" because all she saw, was the front of the truck. and she was serious.

on a daily basis, we get remarks from her like this one. to which we just shake our heads. in amazement mostly. she'll be starting softball in a few weeks. oh, this was funny! last year she played, her first year. she'll kill me for this, she played 2nd base or maybe short stop, i don't know, all of the girls were pretty much crowded around 2nd base at the time, but chris got the ball, and the girl ran to 2nd base, and she didn't know what to do, and everyone was telling her to throw the ball, so what does she do? she threw the ball AT the girl. yep, at her. well, frank and i bust out laughing at her. because we firmly believe you should be able to laugh at yourself. they were the last place team, and received a bobble-head trophy, which they were very proud of. we still laugh at that, and so does she.

this year she will be playing with bigger girls, so i told her to be careful when she throws the ball AT girls bigger than her. of course, she's pretty big for an 11-year old. not fat-big, just big-big. i was always the shortest with the smallest feet. my nick-name was tiny toes. my kids feet are bigger than mine. well, anyway. kids are funny. i love my funny kids.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

what i meant was.....blogoPOTEphant

yes, i'm still here. and, actually feeling much better, thank you. thank you. now, it's a stomach thing. whatever.

here's my weird for the day: have you ever placed the toe part of a stocking over your cats head? it's amazing how incredibly small a cat's head is, seriously. not like i've realy ever done that kind of thing, but i'm just really imagining it and all. but they do this kind of backwards sway, to the left and right kind of dance; and you have to play the garbage truck "ding ding" to it, cuzz if you don't, it's just not as good, you know in your imagination, ahem.

right, then we have miss priss-in-boots, Nala. she is our litle 6 pound wondercat; the terror of the underworld. she dices and slices, shreds, cuts, de-guts, dismantles any and all the little and not so little rodents in the hood. and one day, bosco will be a victim, too. i'm not kidding. she's nasty. she doesn't just bring the rodent to my doorstep, she dis-members it. violently. skins the thing, probably alive. she is the tony soprano of her kind. nobody messes with nala. not the 17 pound, mr frightened bosco. certainly not the 100 pound idiot rocco. the scars on his nose show that he has tried and been defeated, time and time again. oh, and she has thumbs. i guess her being small has made her feel a need to defend herself. but the bloody masacre is just gruesome.

now bosco's hunting technique's are much more comical. since the snow has finally decided, like it has a mind of it's own and all, to recede, the cat's have been on the prowl. bosco will find himself a mole and playfully toss it in the air a few times and expect it to play back. meanwhile, the mole, thinking he's (bosco) as vicious as his counterpart tony, is probably watching his life pass in front of his eyes a few too many. suffice it to say, not so eager to play, and stands up and screams obscenities at him. bosco it too cute, and just looks at him with his very quizzical look, and just rolls over and over in the grass. meanwhile, miss nasty is watching all of this, and devising an evil plan of her own, pounces in on the fun, while we are all smiling at bosco, cuzz he's stupidly cute; she cunningly chomps down on the mole rips it's head off, as we AND bosco are just stunned. then, the guts, like a grape, yes, they look like a grape, that is what is on your doorstep, it's not a grape, but a gutt!! she removes that, leaves the gutt and head and takes the rest with a growl. a growl. what. was. that. all. about?

yes, we keep her. because she is sweet to me. i am currently teasing her with treats. i'm giving them to bosco, and not her. she is winking at me. hmmm, where did i leave that hose??? she is particular about who she will go to around here. she waits until everyone is in bed, and then she'll jump up on me and do her little paw prance and purr and then she'll cuddle. she's a little sweetie. frank is always hissing at her, so she steers clear away from him. and of course there's the cat mawler, need i say anymore. she hides from her. she does trust marisa, and she'll sleep in her room on the big pillow. she does hide under christina's bed on the heat pipe.

cat's are a lot of fun. i've been giving them a lot of catnip today. just for the fun of it. she will not not not NOT play with bosco. she is so mean to him. and he is such a big sweetheart. maybe i should give her a bath. naw, i'll let chrissy do it. time for more nippy!!

oh, happy birthday, jamie. jimmy. and allie.

Friday, March 23, 2007


just a few updates from my last post; first of all, i checked my email this morning and the first crazy mixed up piece of stupidity that jumped out at me was from none other than medco. a confirmation. they received my prescriptions. i mailed them. to their designated destination, lexington, ky; which by they way, is the same place my sister moved to. i mailed them on the same day she moved. this is the interesting part. i should have had her take them with her, now that i think of it. they left the same day - my family AND the prescriptions. one by car and truck, the other via the us postal slovice. she arrived the following day. looking back at the calendar, that was march 13. my scripts arrived, via usp, sometime yesterday. idiots.

more good news/bad news:

bad news: daimlerchrysler's suburban st. louis op will eliminate, wipe out, erase, delete, eradicate, unemploy, otherwise render without; right, i'm getting there- get rid of more than 1900 jobs at it's two plants in fenton, mo., which is actually and by the way 600 more jobs lost than previously announced. woops.

good news: (riiiight- this is why i want to be ceo if i grow up) 1300 top execs at the chrysler group received bonuses last week AND (there's more) the management board approved pay-for-perfomance increases late last month for all(more than 21,000) chrysler salaried workers to go in effect in july o7. the increase will be the first pay increase for the co's salaried workers since 05. (aww boo freaking hoo)

so let me get this straight. 1900 lose their jobs, just in those 2 plants. wait, how many are losing their jobs in our plant?? umm, i think roughly through replacement and buy-out 525. then come sept another 3-500. company-wide, says the hubster, the total is supposed to reach another 11,000. interesting. all these people losing their jobs, building cars, that you and i drive, mind you; while these execs are selfishly lining their pockets. and for what?

fine! i'm off that wagon

so what is a blogoplotephant you ask? me. other than a weird word i made up when i couldn't sleep lastnight, it's this: it is a blog, that starts out as one specific type, and just goes onto something different. i started my blog about migraines. i came across terri roberts, as many have, and she just invited me to start a blog. so i just went with it on typepad. then somehow, one day, i couldn't get on my blog. that's just me. i still can't find it.

first i went with blogoplotopus, but, no that was too easy. you know , right, you're thinking too easy. you should really try camping out inside my head sometime. the incredibly weird words and prases and visions that come - unless you have migraine and aura - seriously you have NO freaking idea what it's like. it's amazingly. weird.

so ian and i were conversing on the idea of us doing stand-up - (i know, i know ian) last migraneur standing. you should have heard us. we were pretty funny

anyway blogoplotephant, i had to look at the title, because my head hurts so bad right now, i forgot wah it's called. oops, here we go. if you are familiar with my reading, you'll understad. i have a habit of going from one subject to something entirely different. NOOO, really? i do. like my blog, from migraines to kids to whatever. different. i'm different. entirely different than anyone you would ever meet. if you are the type that doesn't want to be embarraseed in public, don't be seen with me. trust me there. htat will be your only warnign.

oh the stories robin could tell on that, right robin. like the night at, what was the name fo that club?? we were dancing and that freaky guy kept creaping me out, and i whispered something to him, and smiled at you an he left me alone finally, and you were all moving and grooving, like you did, you hot mama, and you asked me what i said to him, and when i told you, you grabbed me like i was going to be road kill, under YOUR tires. sweet memories. yeah, tell joe that one!! why don't you ever comment???? you need to get your own blog by the way. what was the name of that place i was never allowed to go back into with you?

so anyway; this is what i'm talking about. i cannot keep one conversation going. my brain doesn't work that way. it drives frank out of his ever-loving mind. i think he's getting used to it. unfortunately, cinderisa, is just. like. me. so, i'm thinking, which scares me when i think, because i pause and there's all actual sentence/thoughts that are in there, and then they go, i'm thinking of making a new blahg. (yeah insert the long cigarette, though i don't smoke, and gawdy accent and all) with some color and fun. but i need someone to help me, because let's face it, i'm an idiot. seriously. i don't know the lingo, like widget, i don't know what that is, i see the flying nun for crying out loud. see and that's not even right. someone please help me. this blinding white, i can't handle it an;ymore. i mean i'll still post the headachy whiney stuff.

oh, hey guess what. i think i'm going away for the weekend (ha ha hee hee ho ho, where life is sweeter all the time, OH NO!) oh, stink!

wait, ever feel like your life is a constant deer-in-teh-headlights deal? that's me. have you seen Open Season? that is my new favorite movie. yes, my favorite movies are mostly disney animated, and pretty much pixar, but it's pretty funny. anyhoo.

i'm going away for a weekend of wine and dine (think picc line, and hosp food)
four star hotel (university hospital)
600 count linens in king-size comfort, egyption cotton and luxury spa treatment(hospital bed, towel and washcloth)
room service at it's very best(nurses call button)
caviar, lobster, champagne, etc. etc. (toradol, magnesium, fluids, solumedrol, depakon, etc.)
hey, a girl can dream, right! my blahg, my dream

don't you want to be me today? no really, please! i would like to be somebody else today. i would like to know what it's like to be able to complet e a thouthg, one complet thought. imagine that. i can't imagine that. that is frustreation on my part. just read me, then try to leive it. it's a really good thing i have humor going for me, otherwise, instead of neurology, i'd end up in the psyche ward. (i hope they don't put me there. what if they put me there? i don't really get along well with others. i'm sortof you know sarcastic and cynical and all) whatever.

have a truly wonderful weekend

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Good News. Bad News

Good News:
As you know, we made it to the NIT

Bad News:
As you now know, we lost to Clemson lastnight. Stink. We could have done without watching Juli's little boys crying. seriously. That was pitiful. Cinderisa understood why they were carryingonliketheirdaddyallhysterical sobbing in their seats. However; the Catmawler, needed much explaining, I wasn't feeling well, and she still didn't get it. what can i say, she's blonde.

Good News:
Infusion Center is due to open on May 2nd

Bad News:
Duh. oh, and i get to see the dentist again today. here's my Q? if having a crown makes one a princess; what does having more than l make? cause I got more than just l. and i am the queen-bee as frank calls me, got the crowns to prove it now. just sayin. by the way, i quit with the capital letters for today

Good News:
my pets were NOT eating the foods listed on the "do not feed" list

now i know which cat is barfing. as i watched as bosco did so. on my COUCH. next to me. this morning. did i forget to mention that in the last 4 days i've had the misfortune of that feeling you get when you think you're going to lose the contents of your stomach, your legs and feet; so you move real fast, head starts to get hot, ears, neck, everything. you make it to the bathroom, only to just barely bend to the disgustingly dirty bowl - why hasn't someone cleaned the stinking toilet by now??? am i the only person living in this place?? hello!! you notice that not only are the rim and the bowl dirty, but the floor around the bowl dirty, and what color is that exactly, how does dust get THERE??!!! why does it appear dry on wet, sticky gooey - oh my god i need to barf!! nothing. NOTHING. the eyes start to wander for more dirt and grime, not sure why really , but they do, and you scour the floor, and heat vent for more, all the while, the ears are just burning. now, this is the room the children use to brush their teeth, so you (stupidly) move your gaze to the sink, of course they don't rinse the sink. these are your children. and although you've taught them to do this, they don't. onto the chart on the fridge - the beloved chore list, appointing bathroom duties. so while i'm now up in the kitchen, because afterall, the barf - it didn't happen again - take zofran to ease that yucky feeling. oh, and notice more grime - shocker, i know

good news:
it's supposed to hit 60 someting degrees today

bad news:
i will be reclined in a chair at my dentist office for fillings. again. the drugs i take to ease my pain, have many strange side-effects. and though i've learned to brush and floss like a pro,and an obsessive freak i might add, the effect it's had has power to overcome it - arid, extra dry. i have had to succomb to chewing gum to keep from drying out. and i'm wondering if that in itself, is another one of those catch-22. chew gum=decay OR dry out = decay from dry rot. either way, my fear of being in the dentist chair has been overcome. i love my dentist. she is a wonderful woman. i would recommend her, her husband and staff to anyone. she explains procedures in a way i understand them. OH, and i no longer pass out in the chair - bonus. however, am i thrilled that i need to go today? not so much, as i don't feel so good today. got one cooking in the cranial region of my body. again.

good news:
there is a method to my madness

bad news:
i stumbled upon it. i'm scared of myself. here is how stupid i am. first, let me start by saying this; last week last week last WEEK. i sent out ALL of my prescriptions to medco the stupid prescription company we've been assigned to for our drugs. they have been assigned to ME, to keep my migraines under CONTROL, AND. AND!!!!!! SOME ANXIETY ISSUES I'M SEEMING TO FIND I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE. it's still under discussion. i don't know

soooooooooo. i'm waiting waiting waiting, like dora the fish, swimming swimming swimming. you get my point right. going to the mailbox. i have this one little important drug called CYMBALTA. it has a rather calming effect when it's taken all of the time. it also keeps my migraines at bay, for the most part. alright, not so much ok. so. i'm really waiting for that and the rest of the stuff to come. like i said. i sent these out last week. i check online, several times. nothing. i send a letter via email and get letter back with "we received no precriptions, please try again" - my ship has sunk. here's why. i'm feeling a little edgy. not quite sure, but i'm noticing, hmmmm, that as i'm taking my meds, something 'colorful' seems wrong. (CYMBALTA) these are the colors they are in, in my capsules. and yesterday, i noticed, yes.! that i hadn't taken any. in fact, i noticed that the entire week hadn't been filled with any. D'OH.

houston, we have a problem! now i call my docs office and try to relate this problem as best i can. which, i'm sure, came out somewhat twisted and confused, as well, that's pretty much the way i. sort. of. am. but that's besides the point. thankfully, my drugs have been faxed to stupid medco, thank you thankyouthankyou linda!!! (i hear angels singing) AND, I was blessed with a 2 week supply of samples. oh, and i believe i tried to explain to her that, "i'm usually really good with this sort of thing."

actually, i don't recall running out of my meds. of course, i can't recall my own phone number, anniversary date OR my daughters birthdate either. so i guess this doesn't coutn for much does it. oops

wow. i'm screwed. like big time.

this is the scary part. i had to drive lastnight. i know! i know! it was scary, trust me. but don't worry, cinderisa is a really good co-pilot. she was all, "it's ok, mom, calm down. you can do this" she is so funny. talk about mirror-image.

this is where i feel as if i've been morphed into sam kinneson(sp) or some other screaming freak from that generation. wait, that's my generation. ah AH AHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

she wanted me to listen to some blink 182 song she wants to do for the talent show at school; and well, i was on edge enough already. 3 seconds into the song, my heart starts to race, my face must have resembled somethin out of a steven king movie; the brake lights ahead of me just weren't looking like anything but aura and ambulance and an invite to something better, if you know what i mean. it's a good thing that, at that point, i wasn't the one driving, frank was. that was on the way to church. anyway, i started to listen, and quickly realized i couldn't, my body started to shake and jerk, my face contorted and twitched, "get it out! please i can't deal with that right now, it's too much." i couldn't figure out how to remove the disc, nothing. my brain simply shut down. like now. the words just don't come. " remove the disc" what is that word?? oh oh oh - eject! that's right, like REJECT.

BUT when you function like me, it doesn't come right away. it comes out like i just put it there. literally, exactly like that. i seek and search and wrack my brain for a word or phrase, and thankfully, the people that know me, or my disease, get me. wow - THAT - is scary. when someone gets ME.

so i need to go pull myself together for my dentist appointment.

Good News: I'm not driving

Bad New: I'll probably drive her crazy.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

congress, insurance, infusion, oh my

This is what I do to Rocco for fun. This 2nd pic is how he wants you to think he feels about it.

But in reality, I told him it was for a photo shoot for the Little Rascals and there was a Scooby Snack in it for him. Then I said, NOT!!!!! And he didn't get the Scooby Snack.
I am not a normal person. I believe I have noted this before. I am just stating it again. What is normal anyway? well-adjusted? uptight. I dno't think i want that for me anyway.
I have what feels like 300 pounds of cold, hard ceement. on my back and neck. It's just pushing me further and further to the ground. It's slamming the back of my head every once in a while with a cold pipe that's jutting it's way out of the bag.
Oh, did I mention the sound effects? I odn't believe I did. Let me got there for ya can I? I'm sure you've seen us in the news with the CSX boo-boo's lately. Well, if you've ever heard a train screaching it's breaks; have you seen Polar Express? Imagine, if you will, bursts of those screaching breaks coming from one ear to the enxt, in little cloud bursts, but loud bursts. I can't really explain what I mean there. They come in a puff, so to speak. fast, loud,come and gone. Not sure if you've heard it. Scares you. un-nerving the way it comes. little blips o f lights and flashes interrupted my slppe again lastnight. perhaps that may have a little to do with it all.
Imagine my delight a few months back, at my neuro's office to hear the words, "infusion center." followed by, "opening in October." which, knowing we here in the US means, well, nothing short of, months, followed by paper work and communism, nazism, a war, 2 presidents, a big, loud ugly broad running for president governor, wait, what is she running for??? Anyway; then, I was at the docs again some, I don't know, 2 Fridays ago, I was told it was opening on the 19th of March! Which would have been yesterfreakingday. So, again, we being eht politically incorrect nation of problematic hippa hiccups that we are - the plug, naturally has been pulled. DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
Now, last week, and here's the funny! Last week, I had called my nurse, who is really quite wonderful, I told her(prior to the pulling of plug mind you), to put me down for yesterday to be the first pt. to be infused, as I am at my wits end. She was pulling strings left and right with ins. I'm sure.
Here's my Q? who gives the ins co's the right to say NO! she cannot go, she isn't sick enough yet. Let her be puking her guts out, AND, AND let her eyes bulgefrom the extreme pain. and I assure you, I mean. exrteme. as in, no light whatsoever. as in, nightlights, gloworms, CHILDRENS TOYS THAT LIGHT - SHOES, ETC......, get my point? may she become so dehydrated before she become INpatient that she cannot tolerate a simple IV (in my case), this way, the cost becomes much more INtense. as does the pain. (yes, it's much better to alleviate the INfusion center at this point) IDIOTS
these ins co's are onto something I think. I hear a Goofy laugh in the background. and Hillary. WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? I used to think, and say, "I wouldn't wish this pain on myworst enemy" and I no longer carry that badge. I am not a vengeful person. Please don't take this as a twisted sick retort. Ok, now I 'm looking at that little note up there about me not being normal, too. However. This being said and all. blah blah blah, runon.....
for the person or persons, in office, insurance, or wherever you are; when you are in control of MY care; or the care of someone like me; I do, wholeheartedly, sincerely and honestly pray, that you, too will reap the benefit of your ignorance you have placed. I pray that when you have finalized your decision, you do so with a clear mind, knowing that at the end of your day, you, too, may fall into my despair, and would want the same care. And I pray for you, the same EXACT care from the ins co's my friends have, that you be given. Or, may it be given to your children, God forbid.
My point up there somewhere was this, I, like most people, don't want to be IN the hospital. Which was why my doc and his partners, etc were looking into the infusion center. It is cost-effective; not only for the patient, but DUH, hey the insurance company, too, what a market folks. If we can save a few bucks there in premiums, OR better yet, in the long run in interest from having to be there in the first place, like oh, ME this time around yet again, here we go; where do I start???
whoa, if I can save money and time, hey imagine, time (the crowd roared). Pic this: here is my time - I get up, in pain, less some days, lately it's getting worse, it sucks, I'm dealing with it, not as good as I used to, but non-the-less, dealing. up, kids outdoor. clean house? umm, should, it's kinda yucky. wait, I don't feel so good today. On the other hand, todayI'm in manic-mode. clean everything in sight. clean clean clean clean. (migraineurs, we know what that means, don't we!) that was yesterday.
okay, saving $$, i'm off-track, because this is how my brain is working today, and everyday. sorry. save me money by letting be infused. I don't want to be in the hospital. I want to be home with my family. they need me here. I don't have the luxury of extension of others willing to help with my children.
I need to stop. i am sick. my head hurts. my stomach is ready to blow. and my nurse is trying to find me a bed. oh joy. and I am looking for every excuse here to say, "no, I can't go, Frank" but he knows I need to go this time. because this time, it's been too long, again. and so the cycle begins. here we go. I only wish I could figure out how to use my daughter's mp3 before I go. I am so STUPID.
why does the sun shine when I can't handle it?

Thursday, March 15, 2007

MY Super Sweet 16.....Unscripted er whatever

If you're anything like me, and well, I haven't met anyone remotely LIKE me in any way, shape or form. But, you get my point. I think. OK, if you've been bored, and have found nothing, and I stress NU THING on any given channel from 1 to 800 at any given time, and you've mindlessly strolled thru the clicker like me and stopped (stupidly I may add on my own behalf, mouth wide-open in awe) at the stupid, which really in all reality the word itself, stupid, does the show no justice. The show I'm talking about is of course My Super Sweet 16. Can I just say, give me a super damn break already!

Let me first start by saying, at 16, the first thing I got, girlfriend, was a, hold your breath here - a J. O. B. Can you stand it? No kidding. A real live one at that! Got me a job at Chuck E Cheese, as none other than the head cheese himself. (ta dum) At a big, hold onto your Escalade little brats girlies, $3.15 an hour. And I was happy. Not to mention, I did buy my own school clothes from then on. Oh, the horror of it.

And would you believe, I didn't get a car on my birthday? What. On. God's good Earth are these parents really thinking they are giving these beasts, debs, future-Paris' little Bratz dolls of society? A favor? Something better than they had? A lesson? Come on! Let the little princass, (spelling error) come and live with me for her 16th birthday. Now that would be something.

We'll call that life lesson number one. I received my first car when I turned 35. OH, AND I was in the middle of a divorce. Class-act, aren't I? 35, divorce AND first car. Yeah, the boys just came a running! There's a y'all attatched to that somewhere. and a country song. just sure of it. Let's get back to the spoiled rich kids, shall we.

Here's what I do for fun - oh, and by the way, I really, really did do this; in my favorite car at the time, my sporty 300M, hey I had a dream , a car and they met ok. Any. way!! Frank was driving, so this made life even more fun; we were at a stop light, pulled up to an old snooty guy in a very 'spensive Mercedes. Yaha. So I smiled all silly and flirty, hit the button to roll the window down, flipped my hair back, he rolled his window down, wondering why, gorgeous woman flirting with dirty old man like himself. So I say to snooty old guy, in my snootiest and haggiest voice,

"Pardon me, do you have any grey Poop on?"

To which, Frank cracks up laughing, light turns green and we take off! SO. I have no life, other than relentless, non-stop freaking-driving-me-out-of-my-ever-loving-mind-constant-never-ending-migraine-not-to-be-confused-with-headaches because let's face it, they are very different!!!

RRRRRRRRiiiiiiiight, back to the Bratz dolls with the whiney problems of Mommy and Daddy with too much money. If they really believe that buying Miss girl the most expensive dress for her biggest party; and no-one is really touching her hoo-ha. And giving her the keys to the Escalade, the beach house; the rights of passage to every gold card she feels necessary to max-out by age 17 are going to make everything alright, they are in for a major wake-up call. From a State Trooper. Or a Crime Scene Investigator. But in any case, it's just going to make her worse off. Don't give the bitch spoiled rotten brat stinking thing. Make her EARN it! What is wrong with you people? Hey, I'll take the Escalade! And her, and I'll even teach her how use some manners and respect you. Because she doesn't. She has no self-respect, so she certainly can't respect YOU!

I'm feeling a deep desire for anger management. To which I just replied to myself, and I quote, "Bite Me!"

These Migraines have gotten out of control, not like they've really been you know, controlled in a most well-mannered way lately, but, I'm feeling a need to vent on society. This is where I will do it.

Oh, then there was the stupid broad in the dean's office at my daughter's school on Monday. Sorry, Gayla, I need to say this - she wasn't even BLONDE!!@!!!!!!!

My daughter needed to leave early for dentist appointment. I wrote a note. She forgot it. She calls me FROM the deans office. From. the. Dean's. office. (did you get that?)

Her: "Mom, (major sarcasm in my voice here, because I'm seriously irritated about it still), YOU (don't you find it humorous how often the blame gets shifted? grrr) forgot to write me a note!"

ME: "No, YOU forgot the note! It was on the ledge where it always is. You were just in a usual hurry."

HER: "Now you have to come in and sign me out."

IRRITATED ME: "You're kidding right? That's exactly why I wrote the note! I don't WANT to get out of the car Marisa. Is there someone I can talk to right there?"

Gvies me stupid lady.

Stupid Lady-SL : "Hello?"

Growling Me: "Look, I need to have Marisa ready at 11:00, it's me verifying that I'll be there to pick her up"

SL: "Well, you'll need to come to the security desk to show your license"

Me: (claws engaged) "What? I'm telling you, I'll be there, and you can send her out. She just called me from your office. I don't understand why I need to show my license!"

SL: "Well she doesn't have a note"

ME: (now with fangs) "can I do this with a fax? do you have a fax number? "

SL: "Oh, yes you can do that, make sure you have your signature on it."

ME; "oh, you don't want my 6 year old to sign it?"

SL: "excuse me" gives me the number

I slam the phone after banging on the desk a few times real hard. plastic flying all over the office. write note and fax to school. get ready, show up at school. wait. wait. wait. WAIT, FOAM AT MOUTH. SEETHE.

Get sweet, singing six-year old out of van, who at this point, does not deserve deranged psycho Mom who wants someone's head on platter. Go to security, somehow, my jaw has been forced into the back of my spinal column by madness. Hmmmm, I think I know why my head hurts so bad. Or, could this just be part of vicious cycle going round and round and round round. Don't you wish you could be me for one freaking day?

Security lady, with gun?! hmmm: "Can I help ;you?"

Me: ("Probably, but are you willing?") "Yes, my daughter was supposed to meet me outside,"

Security: tells me to go to room 115, I'm thinking she's in some kind of trouble. Uh oh. what happended?

I go to 115, the door says: DEAN

Now, I'm pissed. I can feel my ears turning this color ! Stupid lady asks me what I can do for her, to which I say, "I want my daughter!"

SL: "What is her name?"

Me: glaring and very pissed, "Marisa" no last name given

SL: "Oh, yes, let me call her down"

Me: " you know, she was supposed to have already been down! I spoke with someone this morning, but that wasn't good enough. So I asked for a fax number..."

she cuts me off with,

"That was me you spoke with"


SL: "Well, you had yesterday's date written on the fax."

ME: in complete and utter disbelief. "Are you kidding me? You've got to be kidding me! I spoke to YOU. You gave me the fax number for today. TO. DAY. And yet, I still needed to come in here because of an inccorrect date. You couldn't let that go or call me back??!!! Do you have any idea how much time of mine you have wasted, not to mention the time of others?Do you care that you've inconvenienced me and others?"

Meanwhile, Nick is dancing in the hallway, thank you, Lord. Because I was just plain freaked out! And I don't normally do that. But I did. And the really weird thing is, yeah, there's more, I know - the song, "If I Had a Hammer" was going thru my head afterward. Just that part though.

When I dropped Marisa back off, I told her to tell the lady that her Mom said she was Knowing she wouldn't dare because I'd have to clean her tongue with tobasco or something horrid. I know, then I'd have to call CS on myself.

So one of my favorite days is coming up, and it's not my birthday. Because, afther like the 20's nobody really cares about them anymnore. That's my brain doing that, and I don't feel like fixing the errors so deal with it. Be thankful you're not getting the hammer in top of your head that comes afterward. NOW THAT is where the fun begins my friend. Now we're takling messed up. No wonder I'm so pissed and vinegar lately. So my favorite day is April 1, yes I'm a real oflfd fashioned fool at heart. I love to play a joke on the ones I love. Be unready. C

Time for the couch.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Colr me Stoopid

Now, if memory serves; wait - that's actually funny! Now for anyone that links here with Migraine Disease, think on that little bitty. Isn't it funny? If memory. serves?? Yeah.

Anyhoo. Once upon a time, I had a working, full-functioning brain. No, really I did. Honest. I'll tell you about it. I has a two-year old AND a job, at the same time. In today's terms for me - not either one would be slightly possible. At the same time. Seriously. But 16 1/2 years ago, it was all possible. I was able to hold down a real life job, doing real people stuff, with a thought process. My mind was moving all the time, and I could multi-task with a fully horrible boss. I helped to run his crazy medical practice. Believe me when I tell you he was both horrible to work for, and the place was crazy. But I loved my job. And I even really did enjoy working with him. He taught me a lot.

I was able to use skills in not only office; but in patient care and what became my absolute favorite - surgery. I loved being in the surgical suite. My duties in this practice were more than I'd use anywhere! I was in charge of the dreaded collection cases; and the not so dreaded hospital calls. There was never a day or time of day to be bored. There was always something to do. Whether it was insurance, or patients to deal with; it was great. My mind was working, active. Active. Wow, now there's something.

It was actually one of the other docs I worked with that changed my outlook in the medical field. He had thought I should further my career in the PA or NP fields. However, in my

marriage at the time, it wasn't possible. A definite NO was heard when the idea of furthering my education came up. But I always wanted or desired to pursue; and I did seek the PA training, and unfortunately at the time, the nearest school offering anything was Stonybrook. Too far for me. Oh, right . Then there was the NO from the bear at home. Truthfully, it was just as well, because I had Lexi, and she needed me more than I needed a career.

Another baby later, Cinderisa; and a new medical office brought on something entirely different for me. A whole new field of medicine, actually. Doctors, who, not only cared about their patients, but their staff. Which was a bit different than the tyrant I'd left - we had a crazy work relationship. I'd seen many girls come and go from that office, mostly crying. He craved chaos, literally. I would fight back; I guess it's my fighter instinct. But I finally had enough and left.

And at the time I'd been in this new practice for six months, I started to feel God telling me it was time to go home to be with my girls. I needed to be Mom. Just Mom. Nothing more, nothing less. When I brought that up with my husband, he was pretty adamant about me keeping my job.

And then, Lexi ended up with a broken leg at the sitters. And Marisa went into renal failure. I stayed on my job for the first week while she was in the hospital, being allowed to actually not go into work, but be with my daughter. And then, I had to quit. On my birthday, without asking my husband, I went into my supervisor; and I didn't even plan it out. They had already had a severance package ready for me. Hmmmmm. Imagine that.

It's amazing how perfect God's plans are when He puts them together. Now, of course my husband was less than happy. But as I saw it, I had two children; one who was multiply handicapped, with a broken leg. One in renal failure. As a Mom, my only choice really was to be just that - a Mom. And I have never looked back. I did exactly what my heart and my God asked of me. And my God provided.

I held the insurance for our family with my job. The severance package was this: my docs paid. in full. for the following three months. No kidding. Guess who got a better paying job that started WITH insurance on that third month? Yeah, him.

He got over being mad at me for a little while, he'd throw it in my face now and then. But I knew that I was needed at home. Just as any Mom out there knows when she is supposed to be raising her babies knows.

How, with a clear conscience, do you go to work the next day when your heart is telling you NO? Mine was telling me no. And I truly do understand that there are Mom's that cannot. I was not one of them. I was, and am fortunate to be able to be here for my children. I could not leave this child and look after sick patients. When I returned to the office to do so, the docs I worked for, asked me, "what are you doing here?" Like I was crazy. That was something I wasn't used to working for.

Two of them came to visit her. One of them being my favorite, the crochety scary one, who passed away just a few years ago. He tried to be so grumpy, but I looked at him like a Grandfatherly mentor. Yes, he was my favorite. I looked to the days to work with him. He was very interesting. I loved the way he interacted with his patients. And I would ask him to tell me of his own internship and how he became interested in medicine.

How was I supposed to leave her? I couldn't. I didn't. At that time, he and I thought we never would. We never dreamed we would be able to let her leave our sides of safety. Then puberty came and hit her, rather she hit me. But that's another story.

So memory once served me. In bits and pieces it comes back and plays tricks on me. The sad thing is this: I can't remember my anniversary date. I thought that Frank and I were married in May, but it appears we were married in June. I'm trying desperately to remember our date. I have been having to re-learn Christina's birthdate. My own daughter. That breaks my heart that I can't remember my daughter's date of her birth. It should be etched in stone along with my wedding date!

My girsl are asking me about things on a daily basis lately, and I just don't remember them happening. They are quite lengthy, especially when Marisa is telling of them. Nothing there for me in my mind. I do remember one neuro I saw telling me that memories will come and go. Some will never come back. There are some I'm waiting for.

I feel like a really unintelligent person. I don't remember things Frank tells, moments ago. Thankfully, I do write dates on the calendar; but there are things and spans of time that are just not there. Especially when my head pounds - time goes. I can't help my kids with their homework, because it's too difficult for me. That is hard to swallow.

There was a time when I was able to run my home and family. I am less than able now. My brain does not function at a normal level and it scares the crap out of me. It's not like I don't WANT it to, because I more than want my normal life back. I would love to be able to go to work again. My son will be in school a full day in September. My husband is in fear of losing his job because he is in the so-called "Big Three". That used to mean something. I wish I could help out financially, and I can't. I cannot even cook a meal for my family some nights. I have dust bunnies so big, they are considering moving, and I really wish they would.

What happened to the smart, functioning woman? I used to have some serious issues with OCD and I was a neat freak; and I still cringe at my own dirt,but it's not going away on it's own. I'm wondering how many others find themselves falling in this category. I certainly can't be the only one.

Oh, a little update on my visit with my doc; I have nothing left to try. NOTH. ING! So I get to go up 100mg on one of my current meds. I did lastnight. I woke this morning with a 7! Took 2 Toradol, and right now, I'm getting those little flashes of light and swirls thankyouverymuch. This after I got back out of bed with ice, again. And my mouth is numb. The good news is this: The infusion program will be up and running on the 19th. Goody gumdrops. So count me in for that. So someone please come up with something new because, quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of Migraine Disease!! Oh, I meant new drug, not new disease. I don't need that.

This really sucks - They are moving today! Good for them, bad for me. Best of luck to you guys. I am going to miss you soooooooo much. I love you all. Will so be praying for you.

Oh, I almost forgot, but unfortunately didn't. Imagine.. While getting on the elevator to leave the docs office yesterday, and i really can't believe I'm leaving you with this, but it's funny. First I must plant (funny word) the scenerio. In the lobby of the office is a snack shop. They have one of those hideous hotdog rolling machines that should, not only be banned from buildings, but obliterated from life in general. I have to walk in the building and elevator with my nose covered in my shirt or coat because the stench is unbearable. It just reaks of bad, burning hotdog. So, we get on the elevator, which stinks of said dogs. It's just me, Nick and Marisa. I had to, let one go. Ok. I let her rip. Like it was going to make any difference! Well, doesn't the stupid car stop on the next floor and pick up some guy. Naturally. So the door closes, and the mouth of Sir-Chat-A-Lot opens, "My Mom just tooted, you don't want to stand over there!"

He just looks at me and smiles. I smile back. What do you say? Thankfully the hotdogs saved the day. And that is what I leave you with

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


I know, I know, you just couldn't wait! Hold your pants. Wait til you see these pics; I finally figured out, not only how to get them off Christina's camera, but where in my computer they went. WHY they can't just go to some local picture folder? I dunno! Stupid, I know. I'm just feelin freakin STUPID today! Not to mention, the floors in my house are not leaning the same way. Don't ask. If I turn left, they lean right. Hard right. Fast. No, wait, that would be migraine catching up with me again. No problem. I'm going to see my neuro on Friday. Yippee. Time for a little med change to make things all nicey nice. mmmmm rrrrrright. And for my next trick. Driving this afternoon. To the dentist. Looking forward to that treat. Actually, just a cleaning.
Right, the pics: Ok, this is my Dad. Goofy I know. The Catmawler took this.He's got a great big goofy grin on doesn't he! Hey, he's smiling because, not only is it his birthday, but his granddaughter is taking his picture. Yeah, notice the snow in the background? We still have lots of it. Yesterday it was so cold, (how cold was it?) the kids had no school! -20 wind chill factor, and the temp hit 2! The 2nd coldest day in March in recorded history. Like I wanted that info. Today, it's hit 15. It's almost spring already. Joy.Lil Miss Kayla. Oh and my Mom in the background. Poor Kayla wasn't feeling so hot either.
These are self-portraits of the Catmawler. Must be she had a hairball!! This weekend is Bosco's birthday. Catnip cupcakes for the kitty. Meowwwwwww man.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

March Madness

And so begins the crazy month of March. Why crazy? Well, this handsome guy, glass of wine in hand, kicked the month off yesterday with the first birthday of what is known now in our family as "March Madness." Happy Birthday, Frankie!!! That man is almost 50! Salute. (I know, he IS old!)

That man back there, is my Dad! I know, but he didn't feel well, and that was the best pic I could get of him. He really didn't feel well. Today is his birthday. Greeen for Irish. Which he is, by the way. That's my Mom, her birthday is in October; so is Lexi's. The next birthday, tomorrow, is my neice Nicole, but she didn't make it. And I don't have a pic of her on my computer.

What kind of Mother would I be if I didn't include Bosco? He will be 2 on the 10th. I think there is much needed nip for the Bosco man in store for that day. Do you know he weighs 17 pounds already! He is a big boy. Big, but very scared of Ms. Nala, at a mere 5 pounds of evilness. I wonder if it's ok to put nip in cupcakes? Hmmmm. Anyone ever done that?

My birthday is next, on the 17th. Yep, St. Patty's day. I will receive too many shamrocks, but much to many that send them, I actually despise the sentiment. I think it's a tradition based more on drinking than anything else. I don't celebrate it. I prefer regular birthday cards. I'm kind of a less-is-more type of girl, I guess. Simple. This little cutie-patootie is Alyssa, my neice who is moving out of state next week.

Ok, next birthday is Jimmy and Jamie - the twins. Jamie is girl in first pic and her twin, guy in 2nd and 3rd pic. Their birthday is the 25th. They will be 29, same as me. Bill, Jamie's husband, also in the pic with her, will be celebratin his birthday on the 30th! The very beautiful girl in the pic with Jimmy is his girlfriend, Laura. And , no, thankfully, her birthday, is NOT in March.

This little munchkin is Jimmy's little girl, Kayla. Her birthday is in November, with Nicholas'. Oh, I almost forgot. If you watch Ultimate Fighting, look for Jim, he will be stupid crazy enough to enter the cage. God help him! Seriously.

Not only will we be celebrating this foolish things birthday on the 22nd, but Philip's is the 3rd. Of April. Unfortunately, he will still be in Iraq. Yeah, that is how Rocco sleeps.
Ok, wanna see something funny I did to my son? First, let me explain a few things. I hadn't been able to get him to Chris, the guy that typically buzzes him; as well, it's freaking cold out, blizzard, ice storms, you know the story, oh and I've been sick. Frank's been working a lot, too. So I took one look at Fuzzy one day and thought, "I can do this." Insert picture number one

yes, it appears as though he's all crying and protesting and all, but hey, he's six! He's just didn't like the SOUND of the clippers. So I said to him, kinda loudly, because the kid is screaming too loud you know, the clippers! "So do you still want that mohawk you've been asking about?"

Which is where he informed me he wanted to go see Chris. I didn't think I did all that bad, if he wanted to look like a redneck. By the end of the cut, he was neither angry, nor did he look all that bad:

And like Chris, he even got a lollipop. I think I'll even try it again today. Since they closed school AGAIN for frigid temps, and I have to wait for the heat man to come tell me why why WHY is there no heat in the upper level!!!!
Oh, I made a totally wonderful cake, sorry Mom. My Mom made cake for the party too. But nobody ate that one. My cake totally rocked. It is called, Better than Sex Cake. It is just too good for words. Here is the recipe;
One box German Choc Cake mix - prepare as directed
let cool for half hour, poke holes with wooden spoon while slightly warm.
l can sweetened condensed milk
l jar caramel topping
l container french vanilla coolwhip
crushed french toffee
dark chocolate
In sm bowl, mix together can of milk and only half of caramel
Pour over warm cake with holes
Sprinkle with some crushed toffee
Cover with coolwhip
Drizzle some caramel over coolwhip (mostly for prettiness)
Now shave dark chocolate over rest.
cover and chill til ready to serve.
OOH and AAH when you eat

OOOH I almost forgot!!! Guess who's on House tonight???? As a neuro patient? YEAHHHHHHHHH Dave Mattheew!! 9pm on Fox. I can't wait