Sunday, January 24, 2010

Horror Story. . . What's New?

Saw the flash of light, the warning that I almost always ignore, or don't think of as a warning. The wee blink of brightness just out of the scope of my direct eyesight. I know it's there. You know it's there when it appears. We see it when our eyes are closed, try hard to focus in on it, follow it, but rarely can we. We know what IT is, but never do we really want to admit to ourselves that it's coming again. Because really, life is happening so much better without IT.

But there it is anyway. The aura. The pretty little light that blinks, spins, whirls and whistles it's way into being. It's almost always too late when I realize what it is. My stomach starts to rumble and turn. My face has become numb. It is only a matter of time before the pain begins to set in.

My rescue meds have not been working. Frank called my docs office and I ended up going in for two days of infusion; Thursday and Friday. This typically takes me 3 -4 days to break the cycle. I''m in no better shape today. Sunday.

I'm not so sure what to do at this point, other than wait it out. Call tomorrow, see what they can do for me, whether I can be infused, if she's in or not, I don't know. I'm supposed to go in on Friday for a new procedure with my pain doc. Right now I feel like I've had my butt kicked; not really sleeping, yet exhausted, restless.

I am facing week two of the migraine monster. again. Every sound seems louder than normal in my over-sensitive ears. Like they have somehow managed to grow in strength and size. Some sounds actually seem to have razors or shards of glass when entering my eardrum. So painfully loud.

The same with some scents; especially perfumes. My goodness, it's like people marinade themselves in it. I hate being so sensitive to such things. I used to wear perfume, and all different types and scents. I loved it!! Not anymore. I have one scent I can wear, and only because I can no longer smell it. That's because I've been wearing it for so long. My husband is no longer allowed to wear cologne when in my presence. My kids cannot put lotion or perfume on in the house, they must exit the front door first. They're pretty good about it, they understand that it 'hurts' me. And it does. It makes me sick. Who would have thought?

I find myself hiding my nose in my shirts, scarves, sleeves or coats; just to hide from the smells of perfumes or cleaning products. I've found a nice alternative for my own home environment that I myself can clean with that is both safe and useful to clean with AND will not make me sick with the scent it gives off. I can dillute for many uses in spray bottles to boot! What is this wonder product?? Clorox Green Works. I love it. No bleach scent to send me over the edge with the dizzy headache and nausea.

For now, I'm putting my head back down on the pillow. My soft pillow.
Wishing you pain-free days