Lastnight my little guy walks up to me and shows me his tooth which was facing, well, the wrong way.

"Mom, I think it's really really loose. Do you think it's ready to come out now?"

I told him to just pull it out. It really grosses me out to go there touching that. YUCK. I mean, I'll wiggle it and all, but no WAY am I pulling.

So he grabbed himself a tissue, and pulled it right out, first try. And he had a visit from the Tooth Fairy, naturally. (I forgot the Fairy Dust with child number 4) yeah, I suck.

Seriously, I don't think it bothered him in the least. Fairy dust or no fairy dust, he was thrilled with the money.


Now what do you suppose we could be looking at here? Oh and boy do I need to get working on that other wicker chair I've been meaning to finish. After cleaning the garage out today, I now remember that I have 2 cans of the brown paint I did the rest of the wicker in. Hmmmm. tomorrow is another day. where was I?


What is the big deal over the deck everyone? Baseball game? Bocce ball? What is it? What could have everyone looking to the back yard today? Wait, it's coming to me...... there was something out there a few weeks ago, wasn't there?
Ah ha! That's what it is; installation day has finally arrived. My oh my, have we been waiting and waiting and waiting for the rain to stop so it can begin. We were all like a bunch of Nicholas's, you know, theven year olds, all happy and watching and anxious.

Naturally, boy with a gazillion questions; had. well, a gazillion questions. about each. individual. piece and part that went together to the pool. (Should I be concerned that it took just 2 - 2 1/2 hours to put it up?) I mean, they do this for a living and all; but. It just seemed to go up so fast. The nice thing about having a curious theven year old AND having people who are installing a pool, is that it redirects his attention elsewhere. He will forever athk his quethtions to thomeone elthe. He had SOmany, that one guy told him; "why don't you just get a pen and paper and you can remember everything." DOH

So because we were so terribly busy watching the pool being installed; I just couldn't drag myself to make dinner. I do suck, I know. We went out; always entertaining with boy genius. He noticed on the table, Quickdraw. (or whatever it's called. I don't play, don't gamble, so if the name is wrong, I don't really care.) I'm hearing McGraw in my head anyway.

"I love this!" he jumps up in the seat (next to me) yelling in my ear all excited. Then gets the attention of the server, "Excuse me, could you turn this TV on to Quickdraw?" Points to the TV facing our booth.

"WHAT???" I'm saying to him, little maniac that he is and actually thinking he's going to get to you know - GAMBLE!! I just let the server bust his bubble and tell him he needed to be 18, then she corrected herself and said 21. I just did the ol' "ha ha ha ha ha ha" to him.

When he was 4, a server set the table and gave him a butter knife; he said to her; "I am not supposed to have a knife. I am only four years old you know. I could cut myself. " She didn't know whether to laugh or take him serious. Oh, but he was very serious.

School starts in two L O N G W E E K S!!!!! It's been a long summer. It's been a busy summer; oh and terribly wet here. This little boy feels the need to be constantly entertained, by everyone. His favorite game is SORRY. he has no mercy for anyone. And we have all come to hate the game with a passion because he has played us to death.

Now, we are filling the pool and waiting for it to fill. He is asking if he can thwim tomorrow. What time? Or why not tonight? How long is it going to take? He is excited. He can go to his Dad's and swim for the weekend.

Rocco, is, I believe afraid of the giant noisy white thing in the backyard. He refuses to go down the steps into the yard. He just stares at it. Funny how animals take change.

Jammie time. finally! wishing you a pain-free evening
Deborah

In Shock

When I got my paper this morning; I saw a very sad, sad article on the front page. I am still in disbelief.



No doubt, fans everywhere are feeling the loss of a wonderfully gifted musician, LeRoi Moore. My thoughts go to his family, the band, the fans. So sad.

Monster Soup

Today I saw my pain doc and asked him to "please shove a needle up the back of the left side of my head!" Thankfully, he did just that. I have had non-stop stabbing pain going from left-to-right . Primarily on the left, and it seems to creep at times from the entire back of the head in a jolt toward the front. And then the bang, bang, bang just hits and hits and hits all day and all night.

I have exhausted my abortive. and I am exhausted. I am soooo hoping this trigger block will keep it somewhat under control. We have scheduled me for a bilateral cryoanalgesia for the end of September. Again, he is insistant that I should try the stimulator; and he is willing to fight with my insurance company.

As for me, I'm a little reluctant to try it; I know of some who have had the implant, and didn't have any luck, resorting to have it removed. At this point, I'm still waiting to hear if the insurance company will approve my Namenda. Now imagine, the price comparison, if they were to pay for the stim device over the medication.

Regardless, the pain is back with a vengeance. With all it's pretty aura, and geometrical shapes. Let's not forget the ear piercing sounds and picks. The full battle is on. I feel as if I'm running low on ammunition. I do have fight in me, just low on weapons. So to speak.

In the daily life - the kids go back to school in two weeks; and I think we are all ready. They're bored and very restless. The pool is still well, unassembled. We just haven't had a break in the rain; and without that, the ground cannot dry for the pool to be set up. This coming weekend is looking to be hot. Well, at least they will have next year. Hopefully a few days at least, this year.

Wishing you pain-free days

Deborah

It's Inevitable

I love color! Spring, with the birth of everything new; and blossoms and newness. Although the ugly greyness of the rains, I can do without that. Because, well, they always trigger those nasty migraines.

We are now entering the season of Fall here in Northeast. This is my most favorite season. And though I do love the colors and smells; I don't look forward to the upcoming winter - the cold, the stuck-indoors-everyday-all-day. The grey and white skies. Ok, let's not go there.

So instead, I will just enjoy the remaining warm days we have left. Pray for less rain. Especially since we have a mudbog in our yard waiting to dry, for the POOL TO BE INSTALLED. Which, by the way, has an interesting sort of smell; like swamp. And the idiot, Rocco, found it entertaining to pounce through. Stupid Dog

This is a little teacup rose. Isn't it pretty? I love yellow roses. It has just a hint of pink on it's little petals when it opens.

Look, one of my Mums has started to blossom. I love this color; cranberry.

My new stove came, and it's still in the same place. But should be in it's new place next week. I just cannot wait to be able to cook with it. So fancy-shmancy.

Oh, and Cutco knives really cut with ease! I'm living proof! Frank said I'm lucky I didn't cut my tip off. They are sharp! I can even go without a band-aid now and not get freaked out thinking I have a spider on me.

Busy weekend coming. Wishing you all pain-free days.

Deborah

Anticipation

There seems to be a Bobcat in the back yard, Nicholas! What is he doing?

Considering the high the past few weeks has been, well, rain - it's the perfect time to buy a pool. The only thing we hear from this child is, "I'm bored!" or, "Wanna play Sorry?" I can't tell you how many games of Sorry we have played. The board is practically wore down. And he is a champion of pure luck as far as the game is concerned.

I'm dreaming of turning my shed into a bath house next year; because, I don't want the kids running through the house with wet bathing suits. And it's the perfect place for it. It'll be the best play area for them, too. I'm actually thinking of painting the inside a nice fresh white to lighten it up. We do have electric in there....so..... First, I'll need to spray for bees. Oh, and there's that little thing about the riding mower that gets housed in there. hmmm, what to do????? There is the area under the deck we can store it. Things are just starting to come together already. Oh yes, oh yes they are.

Time to hit a few more sales this weekend for my bath house. I have lots of cute ideas in mind. But for now, we will be watching as the pool is installed, day by day.

Right now, he is playing Sorry with his sister.

Hoping you are pain-free today. (shhhh, I am)

My Most Uninvited Guest

My Most Uninvited Guest

Well, you've come again. I knew you would. What took you so long this time? It's been two weeks since your last visit. I was enjoying the time you were away, doing things I like to do. Not even thinking about you this time around. I just wonder, how long are you planning on staying? What are your intentions? Did you bring anyone else along for the ride? Cloak, dagger, vice?? Will it be the usual torture, or should I expect something different this time around? That's the thing with You; I never quite know what to expect. You keep me guessing. You like it that way, don't you?
I thought I heard you coming a few days ago; thought I heard you whisper my name. I shrugged it off, hoping maybe, just maybe, this time I was wrong. But I'm never wrong about YOU! No, You come on in short, little bursts at first. Then, you let yourself be known, in much more pronounced forms.

For you are My Most Uninvited Guest.

Sometimes, you come as the Grimm Reaper. I can feel your presence in the shadows, waiting to attack; knocking, rapping gently at the base of my skull. What is it you're using? Pipe? Baseball bat? You're so gentle right now. I must thank you for that. For I know the time will soon come that you will penetrate my skull with your tool of choice, and it will, no doubt, try to leave thru my eye. But it will not be able to. Only tears and pain will escape. At what level? Why must you torment me? Day after endless day you're here with me. I never asked you to come, yet, here you are.
My Most Uninvited Guest

Oh, my stomach; I feel you have visited there, too. Why do you feel the need to take over my entire being? Isn't it enough that you had me two weeks ago? Why won't you ever leave me alone? Will you EVER go away?? I had plans this weekend! Clambake, Father's Day! I know YOU don't give a rat's @#*&, but I HAD PLANS!!! Go away, will you. Please. I really should take stock in Coke and Zofran. God knows we pay enough for both! I can't keep enough Ginger-ale in my house because of YOU. My head is just spinning now. Or is it the room? I can never really tell; the floor is always out of balance when you come. No, I am out of balance. You are the reason I don't drive anymore. You're the reason I don't do a lot of things I used to do.

If I could just put my hands around you, the way you put yourself around me. The way you've engulfed my life, taken over. The way you came in, an Uninvited Guest, who has never really left. You never DO leave, do you? NO, you wander, really. From room to room in my body. That's really what you do. You don't leave. You hide, dormant, so to speak. Maybe I'll smell you in a hint of something I used to like, and suddenly it will slam me in a shocking and horrid way. I won't be able to enjoy the scent any longer. How I hate you! I'm no longer human; no, I'm like a Blood Hound, the way my nose is with odors. No longer scents. Odours. I could work for Search and Rescue my husband claims. It's no prize, really. I find myself hiding my nose in my shirts and jackets. Gagging, holding back the puke - from the smells. But when you turn my stomach, like today, when you tease me and make me think I may puke, and I don't - I really hate you. That is when the poison needs to leave; but you let you fill me, more and more anD M O R E!

Yes, here You are again, My Most Uninvited Guest! Mygraine, yes, with a "y" this time. How long are you going to torment us? My family and me? That is what you do, isn't it? Torment. All of us are tormented by you. Not just me. My husband must watch me, and HATE you, and try so very hard to take care of everything else. My children wonder if this will make their mommy die. Because that is what children think. You are so evil. They hate to see me in agony. But you, YOU enjoy it. You are very skilled at your torture and you tweek it and change it each time, so I am unprepared when you visit.

My hands are freezing and I have that unrelenting chill again. I know you are here to stay. The warning signs are all here. You've put the vice around my skull, it's not tightened YET, but I know it's only a matter of time. You've managed to ram the rod against my skull. I can feel it knocking, rapping; letting me know you are there. I've begun the mmummbiling and ramblng and the confusion has set in. The chills and nausea and the dizzy spells are also in my presence. Yes, you are here. If only I knew HOW I could make you leave.

You are truly an UNINVITED GUEST.
Don't you understand? We don't want you here! Oh, please, not the ice pick. I don't know if I can stand that again!! It makes my whole face hurt! The stabbing in my ear..........don't you know, the sun is finally shining today! Of course you do. You've been waiting for that, too. I can't feel my face now. Well, only half of it. Time for my Zofran. Thank you Dr. M. You are truly wonderful. I should probably cancel my dentist appt today - YA THINK????

I'm going to go lay down for a little while. It's time to give in to the bastard - the Most Uninvited Guest of mine. For it has come back to haunt me yet again. But try as I might, I am looking forward to a wonderful weekend that I do have planned. That is what I get for making plans. Something we usually DON'T do, on purpose. Because of someone I call:
My Most Uninvited Guest


I wrote this post in June of '05, and have been wanting to repost it; it is quite graphic and angry in description. After reading the book, Migraine Expressions, that Betsy Baxter Blondin compiled and edited; it inspired me to both put this up again, and perhaps write more. you know, poetry and stuff.

On the homefront, well, it's dusty. We have ripped up a smelly (think ugly dog) hallway/stairway rug; and then, today it was freaking HAND. SANDED. I'm talking they used power hand sanders. Do you have any idea how loud that is? Let's just say that there is a very loud and dusty mess.

Wait, I'm off-track; I'll be painting some sort of design on the stair risers. I can't find my words and it's like midnight. enough for me. oh, and I was able to buy a new stove, too. Lord help me live thru this!!

hope you a have pain-free weekend
Deborah

Poisoned

How is it, that the very meds that are used to treat us, are in effect, this:

getting better. slowly.

Aaaaahhh, More R & R

It's looking like our beurocratical wonderment, that was once known as the Insurance Industry - well, at least in my little part of the world - is slowly collapsing. So I thought, if this was "old-school days" as my Grandpa would have said, how would he have taken things, in his day, at my age??



Ok, ok, maybe a little drastic. But. not altogether unheard of really. It is actually a little of what happened to me!

If you've been following my little story, you know, that my insurance company (drama) has decided that they will dictate to me and my doctor that they know better how to treat my Migraine Disease. They are, afterall, the almighty insurance company and hold all of the cards to my well-being.

After two very well-written letters and phone calls from my specialist, they have still declined to give me the medication that has thus far - two years - been helpful in my daily quality of life as a living and breathing woman with Migraine Disease. As a matter of fact, if I had the person or persons who made this decision on my behalf , I'd be inclined to remove their eyes from their skull with an ice pick - just for fun.

Then I would procede to put them in a very fast moving spinning centrifuge, and make them spin and spin wildly out of control until all of their skin is screaming and their guts are ready to heave. But not until I have ..........

I'm sorry, I have gotten myself off base here. Please forgive the incredibly vivid dreams I am still living through.

Now, where was I??? On Thursday, I received yet another disappointing letter from the Ins Co. and on Friday, I met with my doc. It was at this time, I finally hit rock bottom. My migraine had morphed from the up and down approaches to the steady berating in the top of the skull and nagging of the ramming block on the left. We are now a two-sided problem here. I had been experiencing this on and off garbage since the previous Sunday; which brought me to day 5. Enough was enough. He decided, and with absolutely NO debate from me, it was time to be admitted. My husband agreed, and off we went to the hospital.

The entire weekend is - naturally - a blurr. They usually are, and it's been a year since I've actually been admitted. I have been fortunate enough to be getting infusions when needed; but this time, the admission was the best bet for me.

So much has happened in the three days since I walked through those doors. Lastnight, my husband and kids came up to the hospital and brought me the new book that I couldn't wait to get, Migraine Expressions. I dove in head first. It is such an amazing book. Funny that I was in the hospital with a stinking migraine when I recieved it.

For now, I am sooo exhausted. I will catch up later. Thank you to those who sent email and posted on my site. I am in need of a nap for now.

Please stay pain-free if you can.
Deborah

Denied again

Alas, the letter I was expecting arrived today - with the word I was hoping wouldn't - "denied."

"The information provided does not meet clinical criteria for coverage of this drug." Well, bite me already. They also claim that I/we - my doctor included, as he wrote an awesome letter, "all internal appeals have been exhausted." However, IF I'm still dissatisfied with their decision, you know, because maybe I'm really OK with it! I have the right to bring a civil action - wait - I'm not exactly feeling civil at the moment.

What I am feeling, is actually impossible to describe other than beyond frustrated. How is it, that I have been on a medication that has worked for me for two years, has suddenly been forced away by "Clinical Services Department" of my insurance company??? Even though, both my Internist AND my prescribing Neurologist have sent letters stating WHY I need the medication, why it works for me. What hasn't, to be exact, in the past; which hospitals I've been admitted to in and out of state, and how many times. Not to mention the IV therapy that has been used.

So where do I go from here? Since all of my meds are "off-label" as a treatment for Migraine Disease, what makes this different? How do I make them understand the necessity for me? Am I suddenly going to slowly go downhill? Sadly, that is a question I have been avoiding to allow myself to even face. And yet, I know the reality is, I may. Afterall, my quality of life really did improve shortly after starting the medication they've decided I mustn't take.

The evil, nasty person deep inside of me; is secretly wishing mean and awful monsters on the person or persons who have made this decision on my behalf. Hey, let's be honest here, migraines totally suck. I don't want to live like I did. My kids don't deserve it; my husband doesn't - man, I don't deserve it.

Tomorrow, I see my neuro; I'm hoping he has something up his sleeve. For now; I'm up for any ideas you may have. right now, I have a migraine.

Deborah

Home Again, at long last.

As good as vacation is to have; there truly is no place like home. And boy are we ever happy to be here. That's not to say we didn't enjoy ourselves, or were anxious in any way, but after 10 days, home becomes so, ohhhh, almost out of reach. The traffic on I95 and I1, honestly, I don't know how they live with it there. It was just awful. A trip that should have taken 5 hours, took us 8. But we're home. And we had a wonderful time.

This is the chalk drawing Marisa did on the Boardwalk during the "Chalk the Walk Explosion" contest while we were on vacation. She had been looking forward to this for a month. Pretty exciting. There were some neat drawings from kids to professionals - but I'm just giving up my girls today.

This is the USS Wisconsin we boarded on a very hot and sticky day. The kids loved this. They are under the turrets.

here. The size of this ship is just incredible.

My girls with a friend. I think this was on our last day. I can't wait to get my pics on a disc and developed. I haven't actually developed any of my digitals yet.


So this is what vacation does to us, it is exhausting. It absolutely destressed us. We all needed that. We were pent up with stress, each of us.

Yesterday, the kids had their friends over and gave out their souveniers and played games. It was nice to see them all. To be back in the normal life again. Frank and Marisa will be getting our bouncy dog back today. But first, he will be getting a bath; as he is going to stink. Can't wait to see him. Even Rocco has souveniers.

As far as the travelling migraine monster goes, I was attacked. The Scopolomine either wasn't working for me, or was doing better than it would have, had I not taken it. Either way, I had a bag between my legs, Zofran in my tummy, and I was holding my lips with my hand. Oh, and one hand on the door ready to jump. I don't know how my parents handled me barfing in their cars when we travelled.

On that note, it's time to make the little ones breakfast. yum.

Thank you for your well wishes while I was on vacation.

deb

Destressing.........at last

At long last, we are finally on vacation. We have safely landed at our very beautiful destination and are having a wonderful time. However; getting the pics to load has taken way too long, so I am only giving up a few for now. The lobster is Frank.

Nick looking cool on the beach. He was catching jellyfish and we do have pics of two before the beach burial. Unfortunately for Vanessa, she was stung while we were jumping the waves. She's ok, though.

One of the very few I was able to get of Cinderisa.

Look who got her hair braided! Her blue eyes are just glowing now that we can see them. She says it hurts to sleep; but she looks so pretty.

Vanessa and Papa under one of the waterfalls getting cooled off. It is very hot here. The majority of our first two days have been spent in the pools.

Nicholas enjoys the hot tub, for whatever reason. Yesterday we took the kids to see the USS Wisconsin, and we were able to board the ship. They all enjoyed that. The girls and I were able to pet a shark. A SHARK. It felt sort of like slimey sandpaper.

And then......it stormed. HARD. And they/we received 2.6 inches of rain. In a matter of just a few short hours. And it has cooled down to about 80.

Nicholas woke up up this morning with a raging fever, sore throat, headache, and after a few hours, he barfed. He just woke up from a little nap. Fevered again. Poor guy. So much for our little surprise for today. Hopefully tomorrow.

Lunch time at the condo. ta ta.

Deborah

Hope, Insanity and Sadness

Letter two has been written and sent from my doctor to my insurance company. It was a very well-written letter, as I received a copy myself today. So much so, if I was the insurance company - no problem!! But I'm not, so we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

In the meantime, I was fortunate enough to get samples from my primary doc and will be getting back on the Namenda in hopes that the ins. co. will agree that it's a necessary med for me. Here's hoping and praying they will see my need.

Ridiculous.

This week has been completely insane; we are leaving for vacation on Friday. So, like the crazy person I am, I must get everything ready, cleaned, organized, packed, laundered, shopped and bagged ahead of time. Way ahead of time.

Sadness: Today. (holding back tears) we had to drop poor Rockhead off to the kennel friend's place - Glen. It was horrible. Glen is usually there to put him in the kennel, we just hand the dog over and have to hear him scream while we escape to the car. Not this time. Frank and I had the - HA - fortune of escorting the 100 pound monster with fear and anxiety plus massive amounts of adrenalin rushing through his veins, into the cage. We are both bruised - badly.

I ended up being the last to get into the cage and calling him in after three failed attempts, he finally came in, and I'm just trying to calm him down and telling him to sit and drink because it was hot and he was panting. Poor thing. He was just staring up and pleading: "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE, MOMMY! I WANT MY BLANKIE AND AIR CONDITIONING! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS KIND OF TORTURE!"

It was so sad and so hard to not just hug his big neck, but I backed out, and we locked the gate. The kids were on the outside calling his name, (yeah, we were on the inside of the kennel getting him in - it's indoor/outdoor, he spoils his dogs), he ran out to the kids. We quickly left the kennel out the door so he didn't see us leave; checking our bruises and various other owies.

Then he starts with the screaming. Literal. screaming. No barking or yelping - no not our big brute, he's a screamer. All the other big bull dogs, and they are big, there were 7 in all, were barking when we got there, and were now calm. But Rocco, he was screaming like a GIRL.

Christina started to cry and that made the sadness even sadder. I told her once I got to the car that it was ok, and he'd be ok once we left. That was the first time she'd ever gone when we dropped him off. I don't like to go, and have only gone one other time.

An hour after I tucked Nicholas into bed, he started crying how he missed him. guess who gets to go pick up Mr. Stinkbomb from Glen's house? Oh, yeah, you know it! I'll be here waiting for all of them, making dinner and unpacking or cleaning or relaxing.

Frank did talk to Glen tonight and Rocco was fine. he had him out of the kennel and knows that Mr. Spoiled is NOT an outdoor dog and could tell by the panting; he was keeping him cool and will make sure he doesn't get overheated, as it's going to be in the 90's this weekend. UGH!

Now THIS is totally up Rocco's alley! On a bed, with his buddy, IN THE COOL HOUSE. So spoiled. (by the way, this room and decor no longer exists. this is Nicholas' room now)

By all means, please stay cool this weekend. More importantly - pain free.

Deborah

Beneficial Spirituality

I believe the question was something along the lines of "how do I find spirituality beneficial with Migraine Disease?" And my answer is that my faith in God, in Jesus as my Saviour is beneficial in every aspect of my life, including Migraine disease.

I did, however, find myself without my personal relationship with Him, the closeness I had with Him, when I was going through the worst of my pain and suffering from the disease. It was also then, when I reached out to Him again, and trusted Him to get me through it. He did.

Just like any relationship, one with my Saviour takes great time, work, energy. But the difference with Him is that He did something for me that nobody else could ever do; He died for me. For ME! How do I walk away from that on a daily basis? But I do. And yet, He loves me. So much more than I could ever fully understand.

He loves me. He gets me through my toughest times; by prayer, answered prayer. Not just mine, but those who prayed for me. I do believe I was in terrible morbid shape just three years ago; only He could get me through that. And daily, He still does. I am thankful. Endlessly thankful.

So how does spirituality help me? Prayer to my Saviour on a daily basis. Reading my Bible and being in His House with my family, all make a difference. It is also so wonderful to see my children falling in love with Him and serving Him on their own, with their own faith. Christina and Nicholas will be getting baptized soon after vacation. I can't wait.

Praying you are headache free

Deborah

Playing with my webcam. It sure was a lot of fun watching my weirdos making faces. I had to keep showing Nicholas where the eye of the camera was because he kept looking at himself instead.

Look how big our Pancakes is getting! Now that we've separated them, Hyrup is finally eating. No more mating for these two lovebirds.

My children are strange. They get it from their Mother. And I just wouldn't have it any other way.

On a completely different note; I called my insurance company this morning regarding the Namenda. How interesting this is going to turn out to be. I have been referred back to my doctors office to tell them to appeal, as it is not MY responsibility but my MDs to appeal. With much needed information such as, why I need to take the drug like: what other drugs I've tried and failed, any adverse affects, etc.

So, I called the office with this information. Talked to the nurse who I normally talk to; and she basically tried to get the information she had more available (like in my file) from me. "Ok, so what have you tried?"

I have tried so so many different medications over the years, and have had either no luck or very bad reactions, and I honestly can't remember all of them. Can you? I explained this. And that she had my information. To which she replied, "Yes, but you have a two-volume file and this is a vacation week." Oh, I guess that would be my fault!

I need to say this first - when I mentioned this to Frank, he blew a gasket; but that's just Frank. Riiiight, or is it? As far as the insurance company was concerned, they weren't going to take or accept an appeal from me, just from my doctor at this point. Only his appeal will be acceptable. I can fax or mail an appeal, but they will most likely be disregarded as I am not the prescribing MD, and this medication is, you guessed it, "off-label."

I tried explaining to the kind man, and he was very kind, that there are only four drugs presently available for migraine, and well, I can't take any of them; and that they do, as my insurance company, already allow different off-label medications for me.

He insisted it wasn't so much the "off-label" practice, as it was the Namenda and the Chrysler portion of my insurance where the problem lay. hmmmmm. WHAT????

So now, I suppose I'm just to sit and wait for what exactly? Another letter of denial from the insurance company? Or a call from the office saying she has my nice condensed file all figured out and my med list updated and sent to the insurance company?

I have to say, this will be the second time my doctor's office makes an appeal. Since going down on the Namenda, and I am on my final week of every other day at 5mg. I am now getting 3 migraines per week as opposed to per month on my usual dosage. Before Namenda - they were daily. Oooh, goody, something to look forward to. Great.

Here's hoping I get reapproved.

Let's hear it for the insurance company, having more power than the doctor, who spent time and money studying in prestigous schools, to become qualified to write that script, just to have it denied when you really need it - by the almighty insurance company.

Hope you have a pain-free day

Deborah

Independance Day

This post is entirely dedicated to the men and women who have served and do serve our country, in order to allow us the freedoms we still maintain.






Make no mistake about it, we are losing our freedoms little by little; yet they fight. For you. For me.











Many live, but some die. A sacrifice they knew they must take; for their country, for their cause. Their life, for yours.














Have a safe and happy Independance Day.

This incredibly non-handsome monster has been cohabitating. my chest cavity. I bark and bark and bark all stinking night long; typically when I should be sleeping peacefully. NO. I have barked myself straight into a few migraines. I. am. exhausted.

This started as just a little something on Friday, not a cough or anything like that. I just felt like something in the air was sort of, you know, bothering me. This after I came to from the cryo/migraines. I still wasn't all that well from that either.

On Saturday, my voice was hoarse and I woke with pain in my chest and I knew what was up. I called in my script for the puffer, took a Mucinex and started praying hard it wasn't going to be like the last time. This is the 4th time in the last year I've had this. What gives?? I just have to say, if it isn't one thing, it really is another.

Frank and I have been trying to sort out whether the frequent and recent migraines are a direct cause from the decrease in Namenda - DUE TO THE INSURANCE CO. (still gathering info for appeal, thank you)

I will say, the cough is beginning to die itself down. a little. and, no I didn't actually go see my doctor. I don't like taking medication for everything I get that comes around. as far as an antibiotic; as I have a small list of those that I can take. So I just treat the horrid symptoms.

On a much sweeter note; Lexi spent the weekend with us. We did some visiting while she was here. First we went to Frank's Mom's house, where she demanded, "pasta" but was unsuccessful. She apparently wanted Nonna's homemade sauce.

Then we went to my Mom and Dad's. That is the three of them posing on the swing. She was very excited to have them sit with her AND get her picture taken. She is a sweet treat. I cannot believe this child is turning 20 in October. Just unbelievable.

Everytime she comes over, she demands a shower, but she doesn't normally spend the night; this time, I treated her to a vanilla and lavendar bubble bath and I even turned the jets on for her. Which of course, had her squeeling and flapping her wings! The first time I did this, Rocco thought I was hurting her, and he stood outside the bathroom barking for her in a very nervous way. Too afraid to come in, for fear of being placed in the tub himself.

Sir Stink-a-lot is getting a bath tomorrow. And, although Frank thought he should have a Harley logo on his vest; I think he's more Hello Kitty. It is afterall, all about the attitude. This pup is a major softie.

Well, I'm off to bark myself to sleep now. Wishing you pain-free days. and nights.

Deborah